Accidentally On Purpose
by Ranekaera
Summary: AU While on a trip to earth to punish Zim once and for good, Allmighty Tallest red makes a little mistake and starts to fall in love... They decide to conquer earth never knowing things would get in the way! Human and Irken wars rage, R&r RedxOC Romanc
1. Vomit bunny plushie thing!

Hey, this idea was shoving my other zim fic to the back of my brain meats...

AU, set just after the whole santa thing, Zim just teleported the cuddly toy thing to the Tallest's ship and the story picks up with them wondering what the hell he's up to now.

They go to earth intending to find out or destroy him once and for all but Tallest Red encounters an unexpected problem.  
AU, but still in the IZ world, I'm introducing an OC, that is, Other Character, and there's whole bunches of goody... goOdies and stuff! Everybody likes stuff! PLEASE REVIEW!!

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There they were, minding their own business, slurping slurpies and eating... stuff! when out of nowhere, someone decides to teleport this hideous stuffed... thing into their ship!

It was filthy, it was disgustingly cute and to top it off, it smelled like vomit!

"There's only one invader I can think of who would teleport us a stuffed... toy thing..." said Purple, glaring out of the ship's viewing screen.

"ZIM," Red and Purple said together.

Just then, another toy bumped off the outside screen, making a squeaking noise and floating off into space once more. Red only caught a quick glance of it... something small and red and pink and white... then it was gone, off to annoy someone else.

There was a gentle beeping sound and one of the Irken pilots spoke up.

"Sirs, as far as we can gather, the stuffed toy came from Earth," he said. He had the dark green eyes that were so rare among the Irken race. Most of them had red eyes, purple or pink and any variant shade of the three. Green was rare.

"Grr... Zim is annoying me to no end!! When will it ever stop!" cried Purple, breathing hard, his purple eyes wide.

"There there, Purple...I say we go to this Earth place and get rid of ZIM once and for all..." Red suggested.

"How? We got rid of the Megadoomer when we accidentally shipped it to him... it self destructed," Purple reminded him.

Red rubbed his hands together, a crafty look in his eyes. They had a fresh batch of malfunctioning S.I.R. units... and they were ready to be loosed upon another unsuspecting planet.

"Turn this ship around. We head for... Earth," he announced.

The pilots didn't look too happy. But then, they took their jobs way too seriously. They never looked happy.

Red contented himself with another bag of snacks and tried to ignore the blank, glassy eyed stare of the vomit bunny toy... thing.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! 


	2. Earth interest

FINALLY!! Chapter two!!

Something I've been wondering... the Irkens have toilets and a couple aliens even have belly buttons (the blob from when Zim was taken back to foodcourtia had one), but they are physically genderless... so answer me this. Where the hell do they pee out of?! I know! I'll make something up!!

No matter hiow much I bash ZIM in this fic, I still like him... I liked the part in "the nightmare begins" when Zim says "All I need is the chance to prove I have what it takes to be an invader..." and then he hugs his sammich and says "gimme!" ADORABLE, hahahahaha.

anyway, just wanted to let you know, I'm for zim all the way, him and his stupidity.

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THREE MONTHS AND MANY VIDEO FEEDS LATER...

Red was getting bored with watching the humans on the video monitors. They had sent probes and some of the more elite versions of SIR units ahead to scout the planet and they had unlimited video feed to keep themselves occupied and educated about the planet. Humans were wierd... they moved like Irkens but they were... so inferior! Tall, some even taller than them! But they were sooo... stupid.

A couple seemed superior to the rest. There was one human who, Red assumed, was male (the females appeared to be more concerned with things like hair and makeup... crazy!) and there were a few others, male and female, who appeared to be independant thinkers. Buit one who stood out more than the rest was one female who he kept going abck to ... she alone understood and viewed her fellow humans apart from herself, from an alien's point of view... she was different from everyone else. It was from her, ranting to herself or to others, that Red learned the most about humans.

Their corporate businesses were no different from different people trying to basically rule the planet. They preferred trading for things they wanted in return for weapons, but unfortunately, had a liking of blowing things up for no apparent reason. They were mindless, one track minded, destructive and followed pretty much anyone who appeared to know more about a situation than they did. They still bred like most other races, instead of cloning like the Irkens did, and as a result, the planet was being sucked dry by the billions of humans.

As for blending in, they wouldn't even need to, so long as they cloaked the ship and changed their faces. Most humans were so stupid, they assumed that anything that spoke and walked like a human, WAS human, regardless of how they looked. They refused to believe in something different for fear of being thought "crazy". Humans were obsessed with appearances!! So shallow!

As the days wore on and there was nothing new to watch, he found himself watching the human girl more and more. As fasr as he could tell, she woke up in the morning, walked to a few different places, wrote on paper (primitive!) and went to bed and slept. He remembered when Irkens needed sleep and things like companionship... well, he didn't really, but the Control brain did, and the brain downloaded all Irken information into every Irken alive, so in a way, he remembered. The PAK canceled out those needs.

Yet they weren't really hosts of a parasite... interesting.

He didn't watch the humans when they changed or did... breedy things. It wasn't something he wanted to watch. Breeding as he knew it from other races, and from when the Irkens themselves still utilized it, was... messy. Not intriguing.

At any rate, the Irkens had no reproductive organs now anyhow, so it didn't matter.

Nonetheless, he could only watch those people who the SIR units deemed watchable. He couldn't watch the girl all the time.

But she taught all of them a lot. Her general disdain for her own species was interesting, because it made her intelligent and set her apart, but it also made her seem cold. Inhuman. Possibly useful in maybe conquering her planet.

He would question the SIR units and find out where she lived... after they were through with ZIM... just thinking his name sent a shiver of hate down his spine.

"Planet appracoing sirs. It's Earth... we're getting data streams now," siad one of the pilots. On the screen boards, data was indeed being streamed, both from on-ship bio scanners and from the SIR units themselves.

"Number of living earth creatures, both human and unhuman... well beyond trillions, perhaps into zillions (A/N I know zillion isn't, strictly speaking, a number, but bear with me) Planet is made up of 70 percent water, compounded of two parts hydrogen, one part liquid oxygen, could possibly be fatal to Irkens. Weather patterns, possibly violent. Average human intelligence, 100 points." the computer spat out.

So far, it was confirming everything they had seen on the video feeds. The weather was indeed violent. Stuff called "rain" and "typhoons"... it was almost scary. What could it possibly be colonized for?

"Time frames?" asked Purple.

"60 Seconds in one minute, 60 minutes in one hour, 24 hours in one earth day, 12 hours of nightfall, 365 days in one earth year. Current earth year: 2008," replied the computer.

"Good," said Purple. "Locate our friend, Invader Zim. Pick up a tracking device or... something. NOW!!" demanded Purple. His left eye was twitching. Zim was really getting to him. The constant reports, the ineptitudes, the lack of puppet shows, that infernal SIR unit, GIR, the requests for ridiculously advanced weaponry, the SHEER STUPIDITY... it was getting to both of them. Really. Zim needed to be stopped.

"Planet approaching. Planet approaching," said the ships's computer in a cool, female voice.

The planet appeared on their viewscreen and even Red, whos disdain for foreign planets was renowned, couldn't help but think it eerily pretty. It was mostly blue green and brown , but the clouds were a swirly white color. I talmost glowed. The light from the sun shone brightly on all of them, blinding and huge, a gargantuan ball of burning flame and magma. The planet jackers would be jealous. Their sun was dying.

As the ship got closer and closer to the planet, one of the pilots pushed a button that extended a cloaking device. The ship, and everyone in it, was invisible.

The farther down they decended, the closer everything got, until the surface appeared. It rather resembled the Irken home world. About a million or two years ago, thought Red, smirking.

As they came in for a landing in a park surrounded by woods, another pilot pushed a different button that would recall all the SIR units they had sent out. They returned, after a fashion, lined up, red eyes glowing, standing at attention, ready to obey. They really were handy little things, thought Red fondly.

A SIR walked up to the Tallest and handed them both a plastic baggie.

"We thought you would need a disguise, sir, so we brought these for you, my masters," it said. Red opened hs baggie. Inside was a wig made of something that felt like very ugly rough hair and a pair of dark, tinted glasses. He put them on, feeling foolish.

He looked at Purple, who now wore white plastic sunglasses and an orange-blonde wig and jumped back in surprise. He looked hideous! More hideous than usual!

While he laughed at his counterpart, Purple laughed at him. They both looked ridiculous! Not quite as funny as the time Zim had called them covered from head to toe in meat, but still, funny.

Using one of the SIR units (disguised as a rabbit) and its guidance chip with surperior gemometric guidance, they headed to pay ZIM a little visit. For extra measure, he saw Purple sneak a ray gun into his pocket.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! Don;t worry, Zim won't get hurt! 


	3. NOT THE WAFFLES!

Hahaha, Please review and let me know if I'm getting everyone relatively in character because it's one thing I really want to be good is character likeness... Purple is a moron and stuffs his face, red is a bit smarter and also stuffs his face and zim is a hopeless moron? ALet me know if I'm doing them justice!

thanks to slushy monster (I think that's her penname) for being the only one to review my other invader zim fic "stranded"! May lemony fresh victory be with you, fellow invader!

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Tallest Red fully expected people to lean out the windows and mob into the streets, accusing him of being an alien, but no one did. They spared him maybe one glance, for the red-eyed "rabbit" walking in front of them, but that was it. It was pleasantly warm and sunny outside. It was almost... enjoyable. However, Purple was nervous.

"What's the matter with you?" he demanded.

"We're on a planet full of tall, stupid aliens! Where are all the pilots?" he replied.

"Uh... back at the ship. Make sure no one, y'know, steals it," said Red. He realized what he was getting at and they both shared a good laugh. The idea of any human stealing the superior Irken ship!

At any rate, they were getting closer. The SIR unit told them as much, any how.

They were stopped short when something fell in their path, something very very... tiny.

It looked up at them and Red saw huge white eyes in a small head, with black hair and a tiny body; apparently, it was a human smeet. Disgustingly cute.

However, it wouldn't go away. It just... stared at them, smiling blankly and drooling! It was creepy!

"Here, now... uh, go away," said Purple. He pulled the vomit-scented stuffed toy Zim had teleported to them and the kid chased it away, finally moving. It giggled, sending shivers down his spine. It was an unreal sound, half shriek, half unbridled stupid joy.

He did not like human smeets so much.

"Come on, let's grab Zim and get a snack and then get out of here. I feel like nachos," said Purple.

"I think we need human monies to get snacks here, Purple. We don't have any," Red reminded him sternly.

"Ooooh, yeaaaaah," he said slowly.

"We are here, my masters," said the SIR unit.

Before them stood what could only be Zim's base. He hd certainly utilized the full potential of the Irken technology he happened to posess. It still looked ridiculous. It hardly blended in, a narrow green house with too many lawn ornaments, crammed strangley in between two official looking apartment buildings. The mechanical tubing at the sides didn't help appearances much. It was a wonder Zim hadn't been found out already.

Red and Purple hovered up to the front door, being watched by the creepy lawn ornaments all the while. the SIR unit destroyed them all with its eye lasers. Lasers were cool... better than smoke machines, anyway, as he was constantly telling Purple.

"No nonsense, right? he opens the door, we go in, we zap him, we drag him on board the ship, we lock him up... right?" summed up Purple.

"Whatever," said Red, not really listening.

Purple held the ray gun behind his back and they waited for Zim or GIR to answer the door.

GIR answered it, his cyan blue eyes glowing, his arms by his sides. He just stood there. Despite the fact that his eyes were robotic and at the moment expressionless, the blue still gave off an air of stupidity.

"Hellooooooo," he said stupidly. His fellow SIR unit simply glared at him.

A split second later:

"Weeeeeee hoooooo!! I made waffles!!"

GIR pulled them all inside (well sort of- he actually kicked the SIR unit inside and the SIR unit, thankfully, did not attack) and made them sit at a simple wood table. The inside of the house was hideous and the monkey... the giant green monkey... it watched them all. Creepy.

"GIR! Where are you now?!" demanded a voice no one had any trouble recognizing.

"I MAAADE WAFFLES!!" GIR replied gleefully, grinning and giggling.

"Who was at the door??" Zim demanded. He was speaking through the house's computer, which was actually the house.

"Tallest want waffles!! WAFFLES!! And syrup," he added, as an afterthought.

There was a ringing silence as GIR added copious ammounts of some sticky brown liquid onto something that resembled dough run over by the treads of a maim bot.

"Heeere ya gooo!" said GIR cheerfully. He smiled, sticking his tongue out of his mouth and standing on the table.

"Uuh... weeee're not hungry, GIR," said Red. He really didn't like the look of the "syrup".

"Is it sweet?" asked Purple. Figured. They were finally going to punish Zim once and for all and Purple's thoughts were, as always, on food.

"Sweet like bubblegum! WAFFLES!" said GIR, and he again smilied with his tongue out of his mouth.

Purple tentatively cut a piece of the waffle off with a fork and shoved it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

"This... is... not bad!" he said, surprised. He swallowed and seemed to think on it for a moment, then took another, bigger bite. Well, if it wasn't making Purple sick, Red figured he may as well be nice and not invoke any crazy outbursts from GIR.

Very soon, five waffles each later, in fact, Zim himself walked in, out of his earth disguise, and saw the tallest, sitting at the table, eating waffles with GIR. The SIR unit stood by and watched them disdainfully. Food was for malfunctioning SIR's.

Zim stood there stock still for a few seconds. Red continued to chew his food. Purple was starting on his sixth waffle. GIR was singing under his "breath" (being a robot, he didn't really breathe) and the SIR unit simply stood awaiting orders.

"MY TALLEST!!" Zim cried suddenly. Purple dropped his fork, dribbling syrp down his front. Red stopped chewing and glared at the annoying little Irken.

Zim then saw the waffles and he saw GIR.

"NOOO, GIR!! NOT THE WAFFLES!! My tallest, I am so very sorry for GIR's behavior-" Zim began. Purple cut him off by wiping the syrup off, standing up and pushing the waffles away.

He held up the ray gun, pointing it directly over Zim's heart. It was set to stun, not kill. The stun setting WOULD simply disable Zim's PAK, preventing it from reviving him temporarily.

"My- my tallest? What... what are you doing?" Zim asked softly, his voice, for the first time, sounding afraid and uncertain. His mighty leaders, who had thought him special enough to go on a special secret mission, pointing a ray gun at him? Why??

Purple pulled the trigger and the single beam of crimson energy shot out and stunned Zim's PAK, thus stunning him. He slumped to the floor, unconscious.

"No! Master! What did you do to my master?" GIR wailed, stricken. He abandoned his waffles and began running circles around the house, wailing "my master, master" at the top of his circuits. Red was pretty sure that at any moment, the little robot would scream so loud, one of his fuses would pop.

Two seconds later, however, he had collapsed to the floor in front of the tv, watching some human show or other.

They looked at each other. Purple shrugged.

"Computer? Is there anything uh... inconspicuous in here that can carry him?" Red asked the house.

"Much as he annoys me, Zim is my master, not you. Why don't you carry him?" the house replied.

"Uh... I don't wanna!" Red replied, for lack of a better answer.

"Very well," the house said sarcastically, and a floating glass plate appeared out of the wiring, covered by a thin clear dome. The house disguised it as a giant rubber pig balloon.

"Uh... Zim used this once to carry the Voot runner," the house said after no one said anything about the pig.

Red shrugged and he and Purple lifted the unconscious Irken into the "pig".

"Computer, pack yourself up. You're leaving. The mission is over," commanded the SIR unit at Purple's own order... or something like that. Red wasn't paying attention. He was trying to get GIR away from the TV.

"But... my favorite show!!" he was pleading. There were tears in his eyes, somehow, as Red turned the tv off.

"I... I loveded you, angry monkey show... I... I'll miss you," the little robot said quietly.

Part of him felt bad for hurting the little SIR unit's "feelings", but his Irken pride quickly took over. According to Zim, a lot of people felt sorry for GIR sometimes. Personally, he was inclined to think it was the cyan blue of GIR's eyes rather than the typical red that did it.

The base packed itself up and, avoiding the various stares (the house made a lot of noise) they got bck to the park where the ship was parked without incidence, other than GIR continuously chasing squirrels and trying to hug passing children.

No one expected any problems.

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I would have made this longer, but my stepdad was getting on my case about the typing clicky noises... meh or something. I tune him out. Anyway, please review! 


	4. Engine trouble

ARGGGHHH!! Now I have to re write everything!! I accidentally hit a button that deleted this whole chapter...

Dib: The aliens did it! The aliens!!

Me: shut up Dib, no one likes you. We all like GIR!

just read. Please.

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Tallest Red and Tallest Purple eeach had an arm and to prevent Zim escaping from one of the Elite on board, they took him on board The Massive themselves.

No sooner had they thrown him (literally) into a containment cell, after disabling the defense mechanisms in his PAK, than one of the pilots rushed up to them, looking worried. He had dark green eyes, but aside from that, resembled all the rest.

"My tallest! There's something wrong with the power core generator! We're trying to find the glitch, but so far, no luck. I'm sorry, but... we may be stuck here for another day... or two," the pilot whispered these last words so Zim couldn't over hear. Every Irk had heard of Zim, the "defective" Irken. They needed no trial to prove to themselves that he WAS defective. He should have been deactivated as a smeet!

Red put a hand to his head. He was getting a headache. Between all the video images and trying to put to use everything they had learned of Earth, both from Zim and the SIR units, to actually dealing with the little Irk, he needed to lounge back and eat donuts... or something.

"Well, fine, but fix it!" he commanded. Purple looked at him.

"Headache?" he guessed.

He nodded. Fixing the power core's energy generator would take no 24 earth hours; more likely, hey were bound to be here for a few days, three at least. If there was one thing he would never get used to, he thought, was this planet's light weight gravity and maddeningly short days. Even now, it was already approaching darkness!

He followed Purple back to the loungey room place and he settled back and snacked on jelly filled donuts. It was Irken jelly and Irken donuts, of course. The waffles GIR had made them eat hadn't been bad, but they were still doing something to his squeedily spooch.

Slowly, his headache began to recede. He called up one of the video monitors and watched again the video feed the SIR units hd picked up. It had, of course, all been recorded. Almost as if subconsciously, he found himself going back, again and again, to the human from before.

"HEY, someone get a SIR unit in here!" he called out. Within moments, one of them walked through the door, its red eyes glowing, an obediant little metal hand snapped up in a salute.

"SIR unit 4, my masters!" it said. Since no one wanted to give them pet names, they were all referred to as SIR 1, SIR 2, so on and so on.

"Hey... you remember this girl?" Red asked the little robot. Purple was off eating more donuts, looking out the window at the earth scenery. He seemed fascinated by the brightly colored flowers; most of the flowers on Irk, if there were any left, weer horribly pale and... smelly.

The SIR units eyes widened to normal sized versus slitted as it observed its own video feed. The girl was walking down a street, looking miserable.

The SIR pointed one arm outside, presumably in the direction of the girl's address, and Red followed, slipping his donuts inside his PAK, which was bigger to accomodate all the extra food. It still had all the usual, like spider legs and a little mini rocket...

The SIR unit walked out the door. Red called to Purple over his shoulder.

"Hey, I'm goin' exploring for a little bit... save some snacks for me for later!"

He followed the SIR off the for-now damaged ship and tried to hover lower to the ground so he looked inconspicuous. In truth, the Tallest had a secret... although they were as tall as they appeared to be, the bio mech suits they wore that set them apart inhibited their walking a bit... after so long hovering instead of walking, the muscles in their legs had weakened. The Tallest were not as physically strong as they led others to believe. All for the sake of power and rank... sometimes, he missed walking.

"Oooh... snacks," he muttered, distracted at once. He noticed a corner store with nothing but snacks in the windows.

Fortunately, no one noticed the little robot, or him. They were traveling further and further from the place where the Massive was parked. The neighborhood began to look more familiar, from the video feed. More and more of the human inhabitants appeared to be more rough and less observant. If possible, even dumber.

The little SIR unit stopped and pointed to one huose in particular. It was far back from the road, far away from the other houses, with a wide, sweeping front lawn and woods out back. It wasn't very large, but despite the bright white paint, it gave him a thrill of foreboding. Was this really such a good idea?

Then he remembered the good things he'd seen with the video feed. Snacks that looked sweet... stupid, sheep-minded inhabitants... this place was perfect for conquest!

And this human could help them do it. They couldn't rely on the SIR units for everything...

He floated up the huge lawn towards the front door and knocked, feeling foolish. This wasn't his planet, after all. This wasn't even an enemy planet, really. It was just... a foreign planet. Manners were his best bet at the moment.

A moment later, the girl answered the door. She wasn't much taller than the Irkens who piloted the Massive, which surprised him. Her head only came up to his sqeedily spooch, which was just below his ribs. By human standards, he and Purple were around 8 feet tall, which would put her around five.

"Um... hi," she said, looking skeptical. She had to crane her neck to look him in the face and he caught himself staring at her eyes. They weren't Irken, by any stretch, but they were still very large and an unusual color. A bright, opaline blue, almost silver. It sort of creeped him out but held him captivated at once. Her hair was a dark ashy brown, almost black and her skin, by the human standards he had observed so far, was pale but pretty. She wasn't dressed too differently from Tak, which surprised him. TYhe ony thing different about their outfits was the lack of Irken symbols and the boots. Hers only reached her ankles.

He realized he had come here without a plan.

The SIR unit, meanwhile, was analyzing the human girl once again. Species: human intelligence: 137 gender: female Did the Tallest want to know this information?

"What now?" he whispewred to the little robot.

SIR took this as a command of action. At once, he snapped into duty mode and incapacitated the human female with a sharp blow the the back of the head. She crumpled rather gracefully and with a soft sighing sound, fell to the floor in a mass of dark clothing and silky hair.

"Um... okay," he muttered. Red pulled out something from his pocket, thankful he carried it around at all. He pressed a small red button ith his long, slim fingers and the thing in his hand sprang out, hovered five inches off the floor and stayed there, a hovering platform. He had the SIR unit heft her onto it and cover it with a blanket from the house.

While it did that, he himself spotted something interesting. A black PAK... hmmm. On a whim, he grabbed it and threw it under the blanket with the human, and they left.

Back to the Massive.

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Mona didn't have a clue what had happened. One moment some wierd, tall, badly dressed person had knocked on her door, the next moment, a mean little robot had jumped onto her shoulders and knocked her out!

What had she done? Granted she knew, she wasn't the most pleasant person to be around (her brother could account for as much) but she had never done anything seriously wrong... Who were these... this... who was this person and what did he want with her??

She came to a few moments later to blackness. She dare'nt move, because she could tell she was already being transported somehow. She was covered by a blanket she'd had on a chair in her living room. Beside her, she felt a luimp of familiar black material. They'd thrown her bag in with her for some reason. Was she then being kidnapped?

No. That wasn't the answer, she told herself quietly. She simply listened. There were voice outside, one male, one slightly more computerized, like it was coming from a microwave or something...

"What are you going to do with the human, my tallest?" said the computer voice.

"You were the one who took all the video of her to begin with, SIR number four. She doesn't like her own species. She could be useful in conquering this planet for the Irken Empire," said the other voice.

"And the trouble with the Massive? Could she help us fix that, my master?" asked the computerized voice.

There was a pause.

"You know, you think wierd for a SIR unit. What do you care?"

They stopped speaking at this point and she felt their motion stop. There was a swooshing noise, like a vacuum seal and she felt whatever she was floating on hit a bump, dumping her onto a hard surface. She accidentally elbowed herself in the stomach and couldn't supress a surprised "Ooof!"

"Hey! She's awake!" said a startled voice.

She looked up between a curtain of hair and saw an alien. An actual alien. Green skin. Large red eyes, tinted pink. Two long, thin fingers. How had she not guessed it before??

She wasn't sure WHAT to say, to be honest.

She brushed herself off and, arching her back, she placed a hand behind her and pushed herself up crab-style. Her socks were falling down around her heels. She hated these boots. They hurt!

She picked up her bag and pulled it onto her back. It contained everything she usually packed to stave off boredom. Drawing pads, writing and coloring utensils, a CD player, music CD's, a cell phone, spare headphones, black nail polish, a few other things. She was actually glad, in some ways; what better to be kidnapped than to be kidnapped with all the things that kept you sane?

On the other hand, aliens had come to Earth. What it meant for the human race, she really didn't care. As long as they didn't blow the planet up or sdesoil the untainted parts of it, such as the raiforests or the natural beauty of it, they could do with it what they wanted. Her best bet at the moment was to be assertive. She didn't want this alien to think she was some weak human. If she was going to represent the humans... wait... why did she care? Half the dicks on this planet would never spare a second thought!

"Who are you?" she demanded, trying not to look excited. Finally, a chance to get off this ball of miserable maggots and learn more about other things. A chance to get to know more than the pathetic stupids here who thought they knew everything but were to shallow to know anything outside of the bedroom or the office. She made her decision a split second after the alien said he wanted her help with something.

She would go with them when they left.

"Hey, we have some trouble with, y'know... techy stuff. You wanna help us fix it?" he asked.

She allowed herself a small smile.

"I'll do what I can, but no promises. What exsactly are you?" she asked again.

"I am one of the almight tallest, ruler of the Irken Empire! We rule, so listen to what we say, and no problems! Oh... and stay away from that MANIAC, Zim," he added as an afterthought.

He turned and led her onto the Massive. The alien craft that, unbeknownst to her, would be her home and prison for the next three Earth days.

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PLEASE REVIEW!!


	5. Aboard The Massive

Hey, I've been busy trying to find another job ASAP lately, so naturally, my ff life has been a bit... droppy. So here it is, another chapter for you inconsolable fans. There really aren't enough of these on here... a tallest pairing, I mean. I'd give you the shorthand of it, but I can't find the email a fellow writer gave me with all the terminology, so meh...

aboard the massive, will switch POV's

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She couldn't believe the inside of the ship. To say it was ENORMOUS would have been the understatement of a lifetime. It was big enough to fit two hundred large buildings in and tall enough to fit several Empire State buildings in. Taller even than that. It was as big as a planet in itself, like a giant city and she wasn't surprised when she (much later) learned that it could hold the entirety of the Irken military.

She folowed the tall alien, because it was the only one she'd been introduced to. At the moment, she was still a bit shy because she knew nothing about these "Irkens". Once she knew more, she knew she wouldn't be shy anymore.

After awhile, however, another alien stepped in her path, barring her way into a room after the tall, red-clad one. This one had pea green eyes and was lanky, wearing a uniform of an ugly dusky purple. There was some sort of round machine on his chest with three dots. He was quite ugly.

"No one is allowed in here except the Almighty Tallest and the Massive's communicators and pilots," he said. He spoke perfect english but sounded as if he wasn't used to it. He seemed to realise she was human, because his eyes narrowed and he straightened up.

"You're an alien. What are you doing here?" he demanded. Behind him, from the room the red one had disappeared into, emerged a shorter figure dressed in dark clothes with strange jets on his back. He looked unpleasant.

"Um... one of your Tallest kidnapped me from my house and brought me here?" she said. It sounded more like a question and she berated herself silently. Damn her initial shyness! Damn it to hell and back!

"Hey! Let her in already!" came another voice. It was higher pitched and sounded like it would be annoying when whining.

Both Irkens stepped aside and allowed her into the room and she stared, her mouth open.

It was a semi-circular room filled with computer banks and control panels. It was all very hi-tech. What made them think she could help them fix this ship?

At almost every seat were more of the green skinned Irkens, these ones dressed differently than ever, with high necked robe uniforms that covered their mouths. All she could see of them were their eyes. They all looked very angry. She noticed that so far, all the people on this ship she had seen had eyes that were predominantly red and every shade in between, from magenta and maroon to pink. A few of the Irkens at the controls had dark green eyes.

"Is this him?" asked the same voice from before. She turned and was met with the center of the room. There was a slightly raised platform with two chairs. In one sat the Tallest who had kidnapped her, dressed in red with red-pink eyes. Beside him was the one who had spoken. This one had purple eyes and was dressed all in purple. She decided, mentally, to call him Purple.

Slightly annoyed (she wasn't vain but knew she was quite attractive), she corrected him.

"Yes, this is her," she put an emphasis on the word her.

Purple seemed not to mind.

"Great, well, have that creepy SIR unit take her to the scientists working on the problem. HEY! Who took the donuts?!"

She couldn't suppress a small, amused smile. He had only said one thing and already, he reminded her of her little brother and his short attention span.

Immediately, a small robot with red eyes came forward and took her by the hand. Its grip did not waver. She decided to merely wave goodbye and follow it out. It was rough going. The little robot only came up to her waist.

"Scientists?" she asked it.

The SIR unit said nothing. It was kinda... creepy.

It was leading her deeper and deeper into the ship and she was too busy trying to not have her hand severed at the wrist by the little robot's vicelike metal grip. She noticed it only had two appendages, like a pair of mittens, pointed and shaped sort of like a stretched out fortune cookie.

Finally it led her to a room off of a dimly lit hallway, uniform white in color and lined along the corners of the ceiling with pipes and mechanical cables. The door opened via a panel set in the wall with a three-fingered imprint. She guessed it was for the Irkens to press their hands into to open doors.

"Open this door and go through. I must return to my masters," said the robot. It walked away, leaving her alone.

She looked at the panel in the wall, to her hand, to the panel, wondering how she was supposed to open it.

Oh.

She had three fingers... right. She donned the classic star trek pose and formed a Vulcan claw with her fingers, so she appeared to have only three. The door opened.

She stepped in and was met with three long, low tables filled with lab equipment. Along the walls were various computer panels similar to the ones she'd seen in the control room. She also saw several aliens and not all but one of them appeared to be Irken. (A/N: Screw you who hate these things, but here is where I deviate from J.C.'s world and create my own race of alien)

They all stopped what they were doing and she felt self aware once more. She forced herself to remain impassive, however and pasted an indifferent look on her face.

One Irken came forward, slightly shorter than she was, its eyes level with her cheekbones. They were a bright, intelligent purple. She would have been quite happy to distract herself staring at them would it not seem rude, so she forced herself not to stare. It spoke and she realized it was a he.

"A native inhabitant to experiment on, excellent! Stand over there, if you would."

She froze. She wouldn't have minded being the subject for study (bar all trans or implants and dissections) but it wasn't why she had been sent down. As far as she knew (and it was all she'd been told) was she was supposed to help fix whatever was wrong with the Massive.

"Hey, wait a minute! Tallest Red brought me on here to help fix whatever's wrong with the shi!" she said quickly, noticing one scientist coming towards her with some strange sort of instrument.

They all stopped what they were doing once again and stared at her. She noticed as they did so that most of them had straight antennae while a couple had curly antennae. She thought (but wasn't sure) that these just might be female.

"Help fix the ship?" asked the guy who had thought she was an experiment. He looked at her with an unmistakeable expression of skepticism.

"Do you know where we can find quartz crystal? This ship is too advanced to need to use it, but if it's crushed up..." it was another Irken who had spoken. This one had curly antennae and a clearly feminine voice. Her eyes were a muted red-pink color.

Quartz crystal? Why on earth would they need that for a ship like this??

"Everywhere. How much does this thing need? And why does it need to be ground up? I don't know much about machinery. My thing is more computers," she admitted.

"Excellent. We needed help with that, too," said yet another alien. This one wasn't Irken. It looked... odd. It had very vibrantly colored skin and gills. His eyes were a bright orange and there was some sort of mask around his neck, filled with water. He, like the others, wore robes. He had a sort of bubbly voice.

She looked to where he pointed and saw, to her relief, something she probably COULD help with. She didn't want anyone to think she didn't know what she was doing. That might give them ideas with their... tools.

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"Why'd you bring the human here, anyway?"

"Mm?" Red was munching on a donut and hadn't been listening.

"I saaaiiiid... why'd you bring her back here for? We can fix the ship on our own," repeated Purple. He himself was stuffing more food in his mouth than he could fit in his cheeks, so all that Red heeard was "Ah shaaaaiiid... i'd 'oo bwin' 'er 'ere chore? 'e 'an fix 'ha ship on our own."

Red shrugged. He didn't quite know why he'd brought her here, aside from the whole 'rule the planet' idea he'd had. He told his counterpart about it. Purple swallowed.

"What would we do with a miserable ball of dirt like this?" he demanded.

Red sighed and flipped the video feed on yet again, this time showing Purple footage of something he hadn't seen before. Footage that Red himself hadn't really payed much attention to at first. Earth without the humans... it was all green and blue and flowers and grass... it was what Irk might once have looked like, now he thought on it... Purple stared.

"What planet is that?" he demanded skeptically.

"Uh... Purple... that's Earth. Where no humans live, apparently. Only one SIR unit went to this place, I think it's called...Costa Rica," said Red slowly, reading some text in the lower half of the screen. Human names were strange.

"Hmm... destroy the humans, take over Earth... sounds good, whaddaya wanna make it, a sight seeing spot?" asked Purple.

Red got a grin on his face. That sounded perfect! Annihilate the humans, take over the planet and turn it into the Irken Tourist planet!

He continued to watch the green other-world go by even after Purple had looked away. He would have the ask the human he'd brought on board more about this place called... Costa Rica.

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Uh oh... is Red starting to like Earth? lol you'll have to read to find out. 


	6. Missing: three tacquitos, one half taco

Hey, next chapter is up. Since I had no idea what I was writing about when I mentioned quartz crystal (this isn't a science fair project), I will make some lame nickelodeon-style joke involving something... I also noticed that GIR has been missing, so I will bring him back soon... see if you can spot him!

review

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It was the human's second day on board the Massive when Tallest Red decided to check up on her "progress". He made his way down to the lab, followed closely by one of the royal guards, in case of... well, whatever could happen.

To his surprise, when he opened the door he saw most of the scientists crowded around the human, watching her intently as she worked on a part of the computer system. She was fooling with wires and had her arms stretched high above her head, level with the ceiling. How could she do that? She was about as tall as Zim was, a flat five foot nothing, and yet she could reach up and touch the low ceiling of this room.

He cleared his throat and they all turned at attention. They all saluted, except the girl, who seemed not to have heard him.

He hovered foreward and looked down at the top of her head, which only came up to his rib cage. He waited to see just how strong a human's hindsight was.

To his surprise she stopped working right away and went slightly rigid. She turned and came face to face with his body, lifted her head and looked straight into his face.

"Oh... hi," she said stupidly. The look in her eyes wasn;t timidness this time... he stared for a moment, trying to accustom himself to reading emotion in something that didn't have red eyes and found it was quite easy. He again caught himself wondering why her eyes were such a light, clear blue.

"I was helping with the computer," she said, pointing a thumb over her shoulder. Red put his hands behind his back in an observing pose.

"So you are," he agreed.

"Um... how are the repairs coming?" she asked.

He looked around the lab. Actually (and not many knew it) more of the wiring for the part of the ship that was malfunctioning was closer to this lab than anywhere. He was surprised (and impressed against his will) that she even knew what she was doing... if, that was, she DID know what she was doing. They would find out sooner or later when the time came to turn the ship back on.

Then he reminded himself that that was the whole reason he brought her here in the first place; her help in conquering this place and maybe some help around The Massive.

"What is she doing?" he asked the closest scientist. He saluted briefly and pointed to a status screen on a nearby holo-monitor. It was keeping progress on the wires in the heating and cooling ducts. The message that kept blinking said "damaged".

"They've, er... actually been damaged in this part of the ship for awhile now, and we figured, as long as she's here, she may as well... I mean, none of us can reach it..." murmered the scientist. Indeed, the human girl WAS about two inches taller than the rest of the scientists. He knew the fish-like alien in the corner couldn't go near anythign electrical; he was a fish!

"That's nice. When she's done, send her to the interrogation chamber," he said. It wasn't REALLY an interrogation chamber... well, it was designed to be, but so far, it hadn't needed to be used. No one dared mess with The Massive. He just wanted a room where he could question the human about the planet alone with Purple so they could come up with a game plan for the conquest of Earth.

He figured she wasn't stupid; she would figure out what his plans were sooner or later.

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It was a simple repair job; the only problem seemed to be a couple of frayed wires, and that was nothing to fix. Her best friend overseas had a father who worked with this junk all the time, so she knew quite a bit about it. All she did was cut, splice and re-wrap them, and weld them back together. It was a shoddy job, but it would do. The room grew more comfortable, anyway. She couldn't help feeling a bit proud of herself when she turned to face the room and the Irken scientists all cheered.

"You have NO idea how unbearable this room was to work in," said one nearby female with sparkly purple eyes. She had a gentle voice. She said her name was Zat. Her name was easy to remember because she had purple eyes. She didn't know anyone else's name, or maybe they had told her and she had forgotten. She did that sometimes.

"Um... what's the interrogation room for?" she asked, suddenly uncertain. She had learned by now that no one was out to dissect her or anything; they just needed help with their ship and they'd be gone, so she was happy to help. She got to get out of the house and learn some super cool stuff, anyway, instead of sitting round stupid drunks all the time. This had to be better.

Still, she was a little wary. That never hurt.

"Oh, nothing, don't worry about that. The Tallest probably just want to ask you questions about your planet 'Earth', without anyone listening, is all," said Zat. She seemed to be the most knowledgable out of the lab scientists, but the fish-like alien didn't say much more than "please pass me the beaker".

Out of nowhere, it seemed, her stomach growled in the silent room. A couple Irkens popped their heads up and stared at her oddly.

"Oh... must be hungry, heh," she said, rubbing her stomach.

She dug her bag off her shoulders and began rooting around in the pockets until she found leftovers from Krazy Taco. It was cold, but at least it was food. Well, sort of... no one knew with these places... Sorta like MacMeaties, the food wasn't always reliable.

But who cared! She had french fries left!!

She munched on her leftover curly fries, setting her few tacquitos and a taco aside for after. Fries were her favorite! They came first.

She chatted mindlessly with the red eyed alien who had mistaken her for an experiment at first. He seemed quite curious about her anatomy, which she wasn't too shy about disclosing. She told him all he asked. The others were listening, but she paid them no mind.

"What's your name, anyway?" she asked halfway through.

The alien laughed. "True, I forgot the introductions. I wasn't sure of human intelligence. My name's Rome," he replied.

Strange name for an alien from a different galaxy.

She smiled.

"Mine's Mona."

She looked down to reach for the rest of her leftovers only to find her tacquitos gone and her taco half eaten.

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Okay, I dunno if I ever properly introduced Mona, but here she is, in all her name-announcing glory.

Review and answer me this: which would GIR most likely go for, a tacquito or a taco? heeheeheehee 


	7. The forgotten Invader

Hey, I'm jumping right into this one, before I lose my ideas! Please review!  
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The tacquitos were good, but the taste vanished too fast for his liking. He wanted more but he didn't want the girl to go hungry, so he left the rest for her to eeat. And people were always calling him a piggie! He wasn't pink, so he couldn't be a piggie and that was that.

What no one understood was that he had consideration, too, even if he WAS a little distractable.

Then he remembered something he was supposed to do. He pulled something out of the gloom and looked hard at it, trying to decipher all the buttons. He pushed one and slid it into the laboratory.

There! His job was done... now to find who he had been looking for all along.

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MEANWHILE...

Zim was trapped in the stasis field without his PAK's defensive systems, such as spider legs and the welding torches. All he had were his basic cell charging, memory cells and life supporting systems; everythign else had been taken. He had never felt so defenseless.

Why did the Tallest do this to him? His last plan would have succeeded if it hadn't been for his superior engineering of his santa suit and that ROTTEN little weasel, Dib! If he ever got out of here, to destroy the little PIG worm would be his number one priority!

"C'mon, let me out! I could help fix the ship!" he pleaded with his Irken jailer. Actually, the Tallest had stationed two of the slavedrivers from another conquered planet. As usual, they ignored him.

"Please?" he tried again, looking sad on purpose.

They ignored him.

Feeling sad for the first time in his life, he slumped back and sat on the floor. He didn't even have his stupid robot to distract him anymore. At this rate, the Tallest had probably already deactivated him.

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In the end, no one had seen her food, so Rome had some snacks sent down for her and everyone else. She stared dubiously at what they had given her, which resembled an ordinary donut. She took a nibble, doubtful, but was surprised at how it tasted.

Nothing like a donut... a bit more like... candy?

She managed to keep it down so she didn't seem rude. The nachos, however, she loved. Cheesy... mmm. And the nachos themselves tasted somewhat saltier than the ones she was accustomed to.

In the end, she thanked them for the snacks and started to make her way out into he hallway. She was looking forward to seeing more of the Massive; so far all she had seen was this lab and the communications room.

However, she was stopped short by something on the floor. She cocked her head, curious. It looked like... her brother's cell phone. What the hell was it doing here??

She bent down, picked it up and noticed the message light was blinking. Someone had left a message. Still curious, she pushed the play button and held it to her ear.

She listened.

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"Did you give it to her?"

"Yeah, and I got tacquitos!"

Micah rubbed his temples. This thing was getting on his nerves. He had left a message in his own voicemail and instructed him to take the pone on board that alien spaceship his sister had disappeared on. He didn't mind her exploring the place, but dammit, she was his older sister! Damned if he was going to stand by and let them do foul experiments on her.

"You're sure she got the cell phone?" he repeated.

The little android nodded vigorously, the antennae on his head bobbing up and down. He slurped on a SuckMunky and ignored everything else.

Micah sighed again and looked out the window of his house. Whatever she was doing, he would never forgive himself if something happened to his sister.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! Everything is explained in the next chapter!

I sort of neglected zim and everyone else, including little GIR, so here they all are 


	8. Questioning and OCAVP

Hey, sorry for the delay, but I had to do... stuff. Anyway, back to the story! I swear, I will sneak GIR in every now and then, sort of like a "where's waldo" see if you can point evidence of him out! HA! Now you HAVE to review, cause if you don't, the suspense will kill you!

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She made her way tentatively down the corridor, thinking on the message her brother had left for her. He had said to either contact him via their uncle's home phone or to get off the ship and let him know she was still alive, standing and probeless. What a brainless moron!

At any rate, she was quickly getting lost. There were short walkways to her left and right leading to various other rooms and she had no idea where to go.

"Hey!"

She stopped short and looked towards the sound of the voice. It was coming from one of the rooms.

Looking in, she saw the room was dome-shaped and very, very dark colored, shadowed. There wasn't a lot of light, ut there was an enormous video screen, for the moment, like the room, dark.

She back-stepped and saw Tallest Red sitting in a chair, sipping some Irken drink and munching on donuts.

She walked into the room and as she did so, a disembodied voice said, "identification failed. species human."

Red suddenly pulled out a small tool from beneath the belts round his midsection and pointed it at the top of the door. A thin, weak laser shot out and the door shut up.

"Stupid bio scanner... sorry about that. Hey, y'want a donut?" he said.

She sat opposite the Irken and politely declined, although her stomach wwas rumbling again. She just didn't feel like candy or donuts that tasted like it at the moment.

"We want to take over this planet. Normally, we'd have sent an Invader down, but Zim is just so... insane! Anyway, we were watching you before we even landed here," he informed her.

They had been? Then they probably knew her views on different things, sher thought, smirking. Just the other day, she'd been ranting to her brother.

"Does it have anything to do with that SIR robot?" she asked cooly, raising an eyebrow.

"Might. Anyway... for Earth, Purple and I were thinking, maybe, a tourist planet! You know, sight seeing and... stuff. But we don't know anything about this place!"

"Which is where you were hoping I could fit in. You want me to betray my entire species, much as I hate them, and give the planet to you, am I hearing right?"

Red took an extra long suck on his cola cup and scratched the back of his neck with his two long, pointed fingers.

"I dunno, betray is such a harsh word... I was thinking, more enslave? Yeah, that's it. Humans could be enslaved to guide the tours, yeah! Ooh, we could even use this place as a second smeetery..." he muttered to himself.

She had no idea what a "smeetery" was so she shut her mouth.

"I won't be a slave," she said, glaring at him. With her blue eyes, glaring usually elicited an "awwwww" from most people. From Red, it induced a slight shiver.

"Stop looking at me like that, your eyes are creepy!" he whined.

She giggled, which was most unlike her. HER eyes, creepy! Said the alien with the red eyes.

"Hmm... well, maybe not all humans could be slaves... there are billions of you on this planet... annihilate most, enslave others, deport the rest for slaves on Irk! Yeah, that's a plan!"

"Sure. I just have a few conditions, since, I'M the human race's representative," she said, thinking very quickly herself. Annihilation didn't sound too bad for most of the worthless bags of meat here, slavery was fine, so long as it wasn't her or her friends and deportation might be interesting...

"Yes?" he asked skeptically, as if waiting to hear what she had to say.

She turned and slid her bag off her back and began digging around in it for a blank sheet of paper and something to write with.

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Purple was, as usual, looking for snacks. He needed his licky sticks, or he wouldn't have them! Then he remembered... the human! Red! The interrogation room!

"The interrogation room! Here I come!"

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Red looked at the names she had written on the paper. There were only five or six. As far as he could figure out (he couldn't read much more than Irken at the best of times) they read Joanna Myers, Micah Marshalls (strange names!) Hank Marshalls, Nick Magee, Dawn Thistle and Peter Coffin.

"Who are these people and w-"

He had just reached down for another donut, only to find the last one gone.

"Nooooo!"

They both looked up and saw Purple come into the room. He promptly crashed into the side of the door; apparently he'd "ran" the whole way. He had seen the lack of donuts and let out a cry of anguish.

"You know, come to think of it, our snacks've been disappearing a lot, lately," he muttered to himself.

"Sure you haven't been eating them?"

Both Red and Purple glared at her. The nerve of this small, tiny! human girl! She was only Zim's height! Yet she showed the fear of one of them! None! Where was the docility and respect? Then he remembered, this wasn't Irk. This was not his home, it was hers. No matter what, they had the disadvantage. Life here was not like life on his home planet. He kept forgetting that. Perhaps height didn't matter here? It was a disturbing thought.

"ANYWAY," Red went on, "why all these names?"

Purple took a seat across from her and got in her face.

"Yeah, why all the names? Huh? huh? huh? huh? huh huh huh huh?"

"People I want you t-"

"Huh? huh huh?"

"PEOPLE I WANT TO BE SPARED!" she raised her voice. They both shut up, eyes wide. Were all humans so pushy?

"People you want spared, huh? Like spared, how?" asked Red, since Purple was just only joining them. He filled his counterpart in while she was thinking.

"Deported from Earth but not enslaved on Irk. These are the only people I care about and the only ones. You can enslave whoever else you want, just not these ones," she said.

"That's your condition?" asked Purple.

"That's my condition. I won't be a slave either, of course. I refuse to at all costs. I'll just do what I'm best at," she said. She folded her arms across her wierd, lumpy chest and leaned back in her seat.

"Which is?" Red intoned.

"Wander."

They both looked at the list, at each other, then at the human girl and her strange, pale blue eyes and dark hair.

"Done."

"Now! Commence... um... teaching us about Earth!" yelled Purple.

Red and the girl winced.

"Purple, we're the only ones in here, you don't need to yell," Red said darkly. His antennae still cringed.

He pushed a button on the table and the video screen lit up, bathing the room and everyone in it, with light. The girl's eyes appeared silver and he shivered slightly; it was creepy!

"We sent out more probes and video cameras all over Earth and this is what's showing up," explained Red. The huge screen was split into dozens of smaller video feeds.

The human got to her feet and stared, eyes wide and huge, at the dozens of views of her own planet, as if she had never seen it properly before. She looked around.

"Is it a touch screen?" she asked.

"It can be," replied Red, and he hovered to stand by her. Purple stood on her other side and they contemplated. There was so much green and blue and the animals! They all looked so strange! Were they intelligent? Could they be trained as Irken slave beasts?

"Ooo! What's that place?" Purple said.

He pointed with one spindly finger to a screen in the upper right corner.

"I'd tell you but I can't reach it," said the girl darkly.

Red hovered up and tapped the screen Purple pointed to.

Immediately the entire screen was filled with that one picture, enormous and bright. Even Red, who knew nearly nothing of this place, silently berated that moron Zim for not mentioning anything like this. It was beautiful. There was no other word for it, even for an alien planet!

It appeared to be a beach with white sand and cold-looking, clear blue liquid, perhaps mercury? It matched the sky perfectly, a cold, clear dark blue and the banks were lined with green foliage. There was no one around. Just the beach, the cliffs lined in green and the... whatever liquid it was. Perhaps wwater? Zim HAD told them about water and how much it burned to touch their skin.

"Ooooooo!" Purple liked it too, apparently.

They both looked to the girl, expecting her to tell them about it. Her eyes were searching the screen, watching the trees blow in the wind, watching the waves wash ashore.

"This... looks like Ireland. Those cliffs... that's just off Ireland. Nowhere near here. Over seas," she said distantly.

"Ire Land?" echoed Purple slowly.

"Ireland," Red corrected him.

He tapped the screen again and it was replaced with the dozens of tini mini feeds once more.

Red saw one that perked his interest and before Purple could protest, he tapped it, filling the entire screen with it. It was a jungle.

"Any audio?" asked Purple. Immediately, there was sound, and it was deafening. Birds and insects and wind and what sounded like an ocean nearby. Red turned it down a bit.

There was green as far as the eye could see, viens and wild looking trees and brightly colored birds flying everywhere. Even as they watched, one appeared to have landed on the probe itself. It shook the bird off, shaking the video image a bit, but quickly reained its composure.

"Tropical rain forest. Looks like South America," said the girl.

" "Rain forest" "? Purple repeated.

"Yup. Rain... they don't have it on your planet, do they?" she asked.

"I'VE never heard of it," said Red, cocking his head at the sky on screen. It was a dull cloudy gray, not blue at all.

"What's rain?" asked Purple.

The girl smiled. "You'll see."

Very soon, water started falling from the sky in drenching sheets. It turned everything silver! The leaves and the palm fronds and everything wwas immediately soaked and from the audio, they all heard the deep, rumbling thunder. A streak, bright and hot-white, flashed across but was gone before Red could comprehend it.

"What was that?!" Purple cried.

"Thunder and lightning. Just weather patterns. Thunder is harmless but lightning can kill you. There and gone before you can even blink," she said. She seemed somewhat proud of her home planet and its violent weather.

Red quickly changed views and poked the next one his finger came across. He wasn't sure he liked the rain forest so much when it rained.

This place was as beautiful as the place called Ireland. The trees were different and the ground wasn't green... in fact, most everything was a blinding white and steely blue-gray. As they watched, a gorgeous dog-like animal trotted across the probe's path and howled mournfully. All three of them shivered at the sound, it was eerie and creepy but hauntingly beautiful and sad.

"What's this place?" he asked. He looked again at the ground and saw it appeared to be... frozen water? Snow, the probe said. Very fluffy but very cold. The sound of a sharp wind could be heard over its speakers.

"Looks like any part of New England in winter, but we're IN New England right now and we don't have many wolves like THAT," she said, pointing to the dog-like animal. It's fur was thicker and a l ot fluffier and its eyes... Red blinked. Its eyes were slanted but exactly the same shade of clear, light blue as the human girl's.

"So?" asked Purple.

"Looks like Alaska," she smiled. Unbeknownst to any of them, from behind her, a pair of round, cyan eyes smiled too.

This went on for Red didn't know how long. He wondered how ship repairs were coming. By the time they finished looking at half of the video feeds, his mind was reeling, his memory cells struggling to keep up with it all. Ireland, Alaska, Scotland, Maine, Grand Canyon, Yellowstone National Park, Hawaii... this place... Earth was a beautiful alien planet that still existed on a delicate ecosystem of which the humans cared nothing for... in fact, they were blind to its beauty... he could see, now, why the girl hated her own species. They lived on a beautiful planet and had no idea and cared nothing for it. If they did, their cities wouldn't be so destructively barren and lifeless and... ugly.

He changed his mind. They would annihilate MOST of the humans, spare the girl's friends and what-have-you, enslave others as tourist group drones, let the ones who mattered continue with life as they pleased and deport any remainders back to Irk, but they would not destroy this place. Instead of emblazoning the place with the Irken Armada insignia, a simple flag and floating destination screen would suffice.

He explained his plans to Purple and the girl. He noticed the girl's eyes, so much like that wolf's, begin tear. She was looking at him oddly... not sad, but... pity?

"Leave the ones who matter... the ones who make things work, in other words? Like sheep herders and farmers and stuff?" she asked.

"Sort of. Government's gonna be replaced entirely, most of them'll be killed, actually. Greedy little maggots," said Red. The girl laughed at this, her eyes still sparkling with unshed tears but now happy.

"Good one," she complimented.

"So it's settled, then? Earth shall be a sight seeing planet and this human female will be our planet expert," said Purple.

"Sure... um... what's your name?" asked Red, stooping down so he could see her properly. Her face was heart shaped and her hair was longer than he'd thought at first, nearly down to her waist. He couldn't stop with her eyes... they were very large and almond shaped and blue just like that wolf's.

"Monica Marshalls. Everyone calls me Mona," she replied, looking right back. Red stood up straight again and looked at the video screen. Earth... a place of blue-greens, water and millions of animal life... the only animals to be annihilated and dominated would be the humans. This would not be Operation Impending Doom 2... this would be Operation Create A Vacation Planet!

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It seems Red and Purple have fallen in love with Mona's views of the human race AND Earth's more beautiful places... and I totally agree hahahaha. Did you spot GIR at all?


	9. Nighttime stroll, Micah and GIR

Hey, in this chapter, Red gets a little nicer towards Mona, something Purple isn't missing, but he hasn't quite fallen for her yet... GIR shows up, finally, too, so please read!

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They gave her her own personal quarters until they were done with the repairs on the ship, since she had expresed a curiosity towards the lot of them and The Massive. It really was a wonderful thing, a work of art and engineering. She had never seen anything like it before.

Her "room" was about the size you'd expect on a ship this size; large enough for her to take ten steps to the wall and twelve towards the opposite wall. There was no bed, but there was plenty of floor space. There were strange tanks in all four corners of the room that bubbled ominously, probably either for decoration or something to light the room up while dark. The liquid inside was blue.

The entire interor was done in shades of steel-gray and dark red, the same as the outside of the ship, while the pipes on the ceiling were covered in a dark purple material.

She sighed and sat herself down in the only seat in the room, a comfortable purple one. In front of her was a blank wall and a computer console that didn't seem to be turned on.

There was a knock at the door and she said, "it's okay."

To her surprise, it was one of the Irken leaders who came in, the one in red. She wondered if Red was really his name or if it was just a nickname in reference to his eyes and clothing.

He hovered in and, after waving his hand vaguely over thin air, another chair appeared up out of the floor. He took a seat. She blinked.

"Hey. Cool."

"I know, isn't it? Eheh," he replied.

"So? How did I do with the repairs in the lab?" she asked, thinking this was why he had decided to pay her a visit, alone.

"Uhh... seems to be okay. I came in here to ask you something, actually," he admitted.

She stared at him questioningly.

"Um... have you ever been to any of those places we saw back there?" he asked. He didn't look patronizing; in fact, if she didn't know any better, he looked simply curious and a little... edgy, for some reason. His eyes really WERE a deep red color... she found herself staring at them and thinking of blood.

She realized his question and shook her gaze away.

Red was watching her, as well, waiting for her to answer his question. He found himself wondering why her eyes were so blue... maybe it had something to do with pigment? Whatever the reason, if there was a reason, they were... hypnotizing... it was hard to look away. He mde himself by thinking of donuts... mmm... donuts...

She bit her lower lip, something he noticed she did frequently, and spoke.

"I've been to a few places, but not everywhere. I've never been to Ireland or South America. I used to live in Alaska. I never went to Scotland or Norway, either... I never had the money or the vehicle." Her face was looking sort of pink- tinged. Was that how humans looked when they blushed?

Red wasn't sure what else to do, so as an excuse, he invited her for nachos with the rest of The Massive's crew. It was hot inside the ship, with the power down to allow for repairs, so they were all on a break.

"Um... I actually have to call my brother... I found his cell phone on the floor of the lab, somehow and he left a message on it for me. He's getting worried," she said, looking sorry she couldn't take him up on the offer. Who would dare refuse nachos for a sibling? But then, he was cloned in a smeetery, like every other Irken alive, so he didn't quite understand the significance of siblings and a family.

He shrugged. He really would have liked a little more information on the rest of the planet, but he didn't want to hold her against her will... There was only so much a SIR unit could tell them in regards to converting this trashball to a vacation planet. And she seemed like a decent leader. She knew how to name her terms, at any rate, he thought, smirking.

"Well, in that case, you should take this... uh, we lock the door to the ship if we ever have any trouble... or we would, if we'd ever run into trouble before," he said. He reached beneath his outfit into an inner pocket and pulled out a handful of pocket change and random objects. Among them were two strange-looking keys. He handed her one.

"Um... thanks," she said, and took it. She accidentally brushed his skin and he was a little surprised to feel that hers was just as warm as any Irken's was. Were humans warm blooded, too, then?

She pocketed it in the clothes she wore and got to her feet, stretching.

He got up as well. If he didn't get back to the bridge soon, everyone would start wondering where he was. To the nachos!

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Mona sighed and made her way to the door out of the ship. On her way to the door, she stopped a passing Irken. He was wearing the typical Irken uniform, or what she had taken to thinking of as the typicakl uniform. A dark red-purple shirt, pink collar, black pants, boots and gloves and a PAK. His eyes were an unusual shade of teal-green.

"Yes?"

"Which way is out? I need to go see my brother, but I'll be back whenever," she asked.

He smiled and pointed a ways down the corridor they were standing in.

"Thanks," she said, smiling just to show she was grateful.

"No problem," said the Irken, and he walked off, his antennae bobbing with every step. He certainly seemed happy about something, she mused. Perhaps it was the nachos?

She followed he corridor and pressed her hand against the panel in the wall that opened it. This one had an option for three or two fingers. She made her fingers into three and the hatch opened.

To her surprise, she was tackled the moment she stepped out into the cool night air. Something small and icy cold and squealing.

"Weeeehooooooooooooo!! I CAUGHT HER!!"

She looked down at the thing that had jumped on her and was shocked to see that it looked like a SIR unit with cyan blue eyes and a dopy grin on its face. It gave off a vague aura of something that didn't work quite right. She couldn't help but smile. It was crazy!

Then she heard a voice she had no trouble recognizing. Her brother Micah.

She also noticed there was a police line taped around the entire ship and there were more than a couple rubberneckers hanging about.

She managed to get the robot off of her and she stepped off the ship onto the dewy grass. Her brother was running towards her, his shoulder-length brown hair bouncing in his face. For some reason, he'd added a blonde streak near his face that looked ridiculous.

He wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug and lifted her offthe ground, swinging her around.

"Micah... let me go! Smothering... organs... exploding..." she gasped.

He set her down and she fixed her clothing and straightened her hair out. She realized she was disgusting. She needed a shower. She supposed she had time to talk to him. She hadn't told him where she was going, so she supposed it was partially her fault. It was also Red's, for kidnapping her in the first place, she remembered grimly.

She took him by the hand and hadn't gotten much farther than the police tape when she realized her other hand was being gripped tightly by the happy SIR unit. It was humming happily, interspersed by giggling and muttering.

"Why didn't you at least CALL me? You realize Shana and Bridget have been freaking out, too, right?" Micah was saying.

Shana and Bridget were her twin sisters and not one of them got along.

"Shana and Bridget can mind their own damn business. And I would have called you eventually, but nothing is wrong. Red came to my house-"

"-I'm sorry, WHO?"

She grinned, slightly embarassed. She explained all about the heirachael structure of the Irkens and how they were ruled by the Almighty Tallest, Purple and Red. She left out the part about the kidnapping.

"So where'd you find the insane robot?" she asked.

Micah gave a weak laugh and messed his hair up a little. They were almost to her house.

"He was wandering around outside the ship and I decided to... y'know steal him and have him follow you, make sure you were okay," he admitted.

The robot jumped in front of them, eyes narrowed and glowing red.

"GIR, reporting for duty."

Its voice was deeper, much more like the SIR units on board the Massive, yet different, somehow. She knew all the SIR units were programmed to obey their master, which was whoever they were given to and spent the most time around, but this one seemed... broken. Who did it belong to? Who was its master?

"Hmm. Never done that before," said Micah thoughtfully.

"GIR? What's the G stand for?" she asked it.

The red eyes bled blue and it once again looked clueless. She thought she remembered those eyes from somewhere... the day in the interrogation chamber, she'd seen it out of the corner of her eyes, something blue and glowing... had it been GIR?

"I don't know," he shrugged.

She bent down so she was on an eye level with the little robot.

"GIR, who were you given to? Who's your master?" she asked.

The little robot's eyes turned upwards in an expression of sorrow and it began to cry.

"They took master and locked him up in a cageandnowIcan'tgettohimandhe'sgonnabekilledand and and..." from here on, the robot's voice got so high and the screaming so loud that she clamped a hand over his mouth to shut him up.

"You wanna wake up the whole planet?" snapped Micah.

"I dooo," said GIR.

This was going to be an interesting night.

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PLEASE REVIEW! I have to go to bed now and I probably won't be on again until later tomorrow. They blocked me off the cpu with a password... DAMN YOU VISTA! 


	10. GIR switches allegiance

Hey, sorry I've been away for so long, the computer broke down and my laptop, of course, doesn't work atm, so here it is, another udpate!

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Mona walked with GIR and Micah the rest of the way to her place and she realized she hadn't missed being gone. It looked like it had the last time she was there.

"Yaaaaaaaaaay, TV!" GIR bounded into the room and turned it on to the Angry Monkey Show. She hated that show.

She kneeled in the robot's line of view on purpose and again asked him about his master.

"Master's name was Zim... the Tallest brought him on the biiiiig ship an' they lockeded him up to be killed. Poor Zim," he added sadly. His eyes were upturned and sad, so she gave him a cupcake on the table behind her. He cheered up right away.

"Wait, you said your master's name WAS Zim? So who's your master now?" she asked skeptically.

GIR finished the cupcake, smacking his metal lips noisly, and without an answer, he leapt on her head and hugged her tightly.

"Ack! Get off!" she cried, surprised.

GIR slid off of her and saluted, his eyes a bright red.

"Yes, my master!" he growled obediently.

Both she and Micah stared. Wait a minute... that moment outside, when he had stepped in front of them and said "reporting for duty"... had he been switching his allegiance? Because he believed his previous master to be doomed?

She decided she didn't want to think on anything at all until she'd had a decent shower and change of clothes.

She let the little robot, HER little robot now, she supposed, watch TV and she headed upstairs to take a shower.

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Micah was glad she was okay, and still sarcastic to boot, but he wasn't sure... she hadn't looked all that glad to be home. Ayone who knew her would say she hated this place, that she wanted to leave... he thought she would probably want to leave with the aliens when they left.

He watched her go upstairs, then watched GIR watch TV.

He decided on a little experiment.

"GIR, go give this to my sister, she forgot it," he said commandingly. He picked up something random, (in this case, a dirty towel) and offered it to him.

GIR looked around from his position on the floor and his eyes narrowed, once again glowing red. He jumped up and all manner of rockets, laser turrets and saw blades popped out of his head with a deafening mechanical sound.

"YOU are not my master! YOU are an IMPOSTER!"

Micah hadn't been expecting THAT. Distantly, he felt his bladder let go.

He backed away, but he needn't have worried. It had confirmed two things. One, it seemed GIR had chosen his sister as a new master and two... that stupid little robot was more dangerous than he seemed half the time. At least she had a decent bodyguard now, at any rate.

But he had peed his pants... damn it.

He called up ths stairs.

"HEY, SIS! YOUR STUPID ROBOT MADE ME PISS MY PANTS, SO I'M GONNA HEAD TO MY PLACE AND CHANGE!"

There was a pause and she yelled back.

"HE'S NOT STUPID!"

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She smirked to herself as she undressed. She would never admit it to anyone, but she already liked that insane little malfunctioning SIR unit. He was a lot more personable than the rest of them and he reminded her of a little kid.

Plus the fact that he somehow made her brother pee his pants was just fucking hilarious.

She peeled her underwear and socks off and finally stood naked in her own bedroom, facing the bathroom. She sighed and sat down. She hadn't slept in two days. She was exhausted.

She walked into her bathroom and stared at herself in the full length mirror on the back of the door. She was as usual, a five foot tall human girl with dark hair, bright blue eyes and medium sized boobs. She was rather more curvy than most her size because she had a smaller rib cage and wider hips, but that just meant she was a more alluring caramelldanser, she thought, smiling at her reflection.

Behind her, the dark blue walls were reflected. She had Micah help her paint it years ago, after their mother had died and left the place to her. Shana and Bridget, her 23-year-old twin sisters, lived on their own in an apartment complex across town and her brother Micah, who was only 18, lived in an apartment with some friends.

She stepped into the shower and turned the water on hot, full blast and shivered when it touched her skin. She found herself wondering what one of the Irken's skin felt like, then dismissed the thought.

She rinsed soap onto a sponge and wiped all the sweat and dust awawy, then washed her hair. After she was done with that, she stood there under the hot water for a while longer, lavishing the feel of it running from the crown of her head, down her neck, over her back and down to her ankles. She sighed and shut the water off, feeling clean again.

She wrapped herself in a fluffy beach towel her mother had never deigned to throw away and dried off, then grabbed her pj's and pulled them on over clean undergarnments. She now wore a baggy pair of black and red pants with a thin, well-worn t-shirt-style pajama top that only came down to her ribs, leaving her belly bare. It, too was black, with red sleeves.

She wrung the water out of her long hair and wound it up into a messy, sloppy bun.

"GIR," she called from the top of the stairs.

There were small clanking sounds as GIR stepped into view, his round cyan eyes curious, his expression blank and stupid.

"Wha?"

She made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. She was starving. She dug in the fridge for leftovers from two nights before and dove into macaroni and cheese with hot dogs. She washed it down with a Diet Poop.

GIR hopped up beside her on the table and began eating with her, stealing all the hot dogs in the process.

"Hey!"

From then on, it was a race; see who could eat the most hot dog slices and leave the pasta behind. In the end, she thought GIR won. His metal face was covered in crusted white cheese and hot dog slime but he looked like he was enjoying himself.

She wiped him off with a nearby dish towel and he stayed still for it, but right after, he giggled insanely and hopped down onto the floor.

"I'M DAAAANCIN' LIKE A MONKEY!! Dance with me, master! Daaance!"

He did an odd little dance, tapping his feet and wiggling his arms, and she laughed and joined in as best she could. In truth, she wasn't a great dancer. What she DID know was made up spur of the moment.

She laughed and sighed, more tired than ever now.

"Ahhh... I'm exhausted, GIR. I think I'm going to bed," she admitted.

GIR stopped dancing and looked up at her with a vague smile on his face.

"Maaster going to sleeeeeeeeep?" he asked sappily.

"Yeah. I'm going to sleep," she replied. She made her way out of the kitchen and back up to her room, shutting the TV off on her way up. She heard GIR following her from behind.

She entered her own room, which had been repainted a toxic-looking purple/red color and was covered in all sorts of posters, she threw her dirty clothes on the floor and climbed under the covers. The moment her head hit the pillow she was asleep.

She didn't know it, but GIR climbed up beside her and watched for a few minutes in duty mode. He was analyzing her capabilities and intelligence, although he knew he wouldn't remember later on. She was more capable than his previous master and could certainly use him more effectively. He would stay with her.

Then whatever vestige of intelligence he had was gone and he was just GIR again.

He climbed up onto the lump on the bed and fell asleep himself, putting himself in sleep mode to do so. He was laying on her stomach.

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Zim wasn't feeling so good.

Whether it was from lack of food for such a long time or stress, he didn't feel very good.

He told the stupid guards outside his cell but they merely glanced the other way and kept talking, ignoring him.

They were talking about some human.

He listened.

"Yeah, I heard one of the Tallest brought her on board and she fixed the air conditioning system down in the labs," said the one with green eyes.

"About time someone did, they;ve been complaining for ages now," replied the red-eyed one.

So there was a human on the ship and she was fixing things... the tallest had brought her on board? Ridiculous! No human pig filthy could fix superior Irken technology!

"Where is she now? She's usually talking up a storm with someone or other," asked the geen eyed one.

Red-Eyes shruggeed, wiggling one antennae back and forth in an "I-don't-know" gesture.

"Lork said she asked him for directions to the outside of the ship. Said he watched her go through one of the windows. Apparently, she walekd off The Massive and into the city with another human and a SIR unit with blue eyes," replied Red-eyes.

Zim froze. There was only one SIR unit he knew of who had blue eyes.

GIR!

Either someone stole him and corrupted him or GIR had decided to leave Zim for dead, like everyone else on The Massive.

Zim slumped against the wall and was almost as surprised as he was sad when he felt a tear slide down his cheek. Who would ever have thought that the loss of that horrible evil minion would make him cry?

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Awww, Zim is sad cause he thinks GIR hates him or something... like I said, sorry for the not being here, but y'know... been away for awhile.

PLEASE REVIEW! 


	11. You look like christmas

Sorry I disappeared for so long, I got hooked on deviantart, lol. If you wanna check out some of my stuff, my penname is SaoirseRanekaera, there's drawings of Zim, Tak as a smeet, Dax and Malak, but no poses yet... my first-time character drawings have no backgrounds, but ones with them are soon coming up.

You won't believe what the problem with the ship was. This one is going to be SUPER LONG so bear with it!

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Mona awoke and was awawre of two things. First, she was refreshed and recharged. Second, there was a robot sleeping on her stomach.

GIR's eyes were a dark gray and all his components were dulled, too. He truly was asleep. She pondered on that for a moment, then tapped his head. Her finger aagainst the metal made a tin-like clanking noise and GIR's eyes shone a blinding-but-sweet cyan blue in the gloom. He smiled and waved furiously.

"Hi there!"

He jumped off the bed and she stretched and got to her feet, scratching her head and yawning. She really was a beautiful riser, she thought with a smirk.

She padded into the bathroom and examined her reflection. The cirlces under her eyes had lessened but she still looked bleary and out of it. Her skin was milk white and her dark brown hair was all tousled and wild. Her eyes were as they always were, a silvery-light blue. Of all her features, she liked her eyes the best. They could be cute, warm, inviting or cold if she wanted something.

She dragged her fingers through her hair, splashed a little water on her face and brushed her teeth, then hurried over to her dresser and pulled a complete change of clothes. Black underwear, a black battle of the bands shirt and a pair of knee-length black skater shorts with red piping and chan pockets on them. She grabbed her sneakers as well, which were black Vans.

She made her way downstairs and was pleasantly surprised to see that GIR was standing on a stool, making what looked like bacon. A LOT of bacon. All she had, in fact. Half a package.

"I MAKIN' BAKIN!"

She smiled and sighed.

"Yes. I see that," she said, amused.

Her phone rang.

She picked it up and said, "hello?"

"Hey, how's the creepy little android?" It was her brother.

She smiled again.

"He's fine, actually. Making bacon," she replied.

Over at the stove, GIR slid the cooked bacon onto a plate and started cooking more.

"BACON!! Hehehehehe! Bacon..."

"Are you going over to that ship again?" asked Micah.

"I'd planned on it, and I'd rather you didn't mind. They need help fixing the ship and I want to help them. This thing is getting more media coverage than I expected," she admitted. Indeed, even as she stood there talking on the phone, she saw two police cars drive by, their sirens flashing. What was happening?

"Just come home, okay? I worry about you sometimes, and the girls might not show it, but so do Bridget and Shana," said Micah.

Mona sighed, in a hurry to get the hell off the phone and go do something productive.

"Sure, can I go now?" she demanded.

Micah chuckled, said bye and hung up.

She grabbed a few pieces of bacon, munching thoughtfully. Wasn't bad. Tasted like bacon.

"Come on, GIR, I have to go back to the Massive, you wanna come with me or stay here and watch TV?" she asked.

Since she was his master now and was giving him a choice, would he choose free will?

GIR's eyes went red for literally two seconds, and he clanked his way into the living room, planted himself in front of the TV and flipped it to the angry monkey show.

Guess that answered that.

She shut the stove off, grabbed her bag and headed out the door.

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Once she got to the park, she stopped dead. It had gone from a police line and a few rubberneckers to an entire crowd and several police and FBI officers.

She was angry. It was natural, of course, that people be interested, but what right did she and he fellow humans have to take posession of everything foreign and unknown and claim it for science? Why couldn't they for once just leave well enough alone?

She shoved her way through the crowd violently, not caring if they were young or old, in the way or not. She got up to the yellow tape and began going under it, but a police officer pushed her back hard.

"No one is allowed to cross this tape, little girl," he said commandingly.

"They're trying to get inside! " crowed a nearby fat woman, looking joyous.

She smirked. No one could get insdie the massive because it was locked. Shields were up, as she also noticed when she heard a gun go off. The bullet was deflected two feet way from the ship's hull.

"I'M helping the aliens fix their ship and when it GETS fixed, they're LEAVING. so PUSH OFF and LET ME THROUGH!" she growled furiously. Her voice reached a terrifying low pitch and she made herself sound like a wild animal on purpose. It was all an act, but it usually meant she got her away.

No one stopped her the bnext time she went under the tape and when she produced the key Tallest Red had given her, the FBI agents and CIA all tried storming her, to get through the door at the same time.

She couldn't fight them all off at once!

What to do, what to do...

Suddenly, her dilemma was solved. The outer hatch opened but there were Irkens standing there, all looking grim, all armed with ray guns, all hardened Elite soldiers. She recognized them by the distinct markings on their foreheads.

"Let the girl pass and stay away from our ship, or we shoot," said the one in the middle, in a high and clear voice. It was female and she didn't look like the warm, friendly type.

Everyone got quiet. The CIA and FBI agents who had been trying to storm the door wonce she unlocked it all stood frozen, staring. One got out his gun.

Furious, before the Irkens could move, Mona dove at the guy, not caring that he was a full grown man with a gun and she was a defenseless human girl of 18, and she wrerstled his gun from him and knocked him upside the head with it. Cool. Now she had a gun.

She raised it to shoulder ehight and swept the lawn with it. Time for her to tell her own species what to do.

"EVERYO9NE GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS SHIP, OR SO HELP ME, I WILL SHOOT YOU!" she screamed in the same growling yell once more. She fired a warning shot over their heads, and that got them moving. They began falling over one another and scrambling to get away from The Massive. The FBI, however, stayed.

She turned the gun on them, knowing full well what she was doing was not only highly illegal and bound to get her thrown in prison, but also stupid. She didn't know how to fire a gun, didn't know anything about them. She was probably already in trouble for knocking the one guy out and taking his weapon.

But these aliens had slowly beome her friends. Damned if she was going to let her own people take advantage of them and do who-knew-what to them. They had somehow become her responsibility.

"Put the gun down, little girl, nice and easy does it," one officer tried cajoling her. She turned the gun on him. They all wore identical black suits and flak vests with the letters FBI printed in white on them.

She felt a hard three-fingered hand rest itself gently on her shoulder and looked back. It was the female Irken who had spoken before. Her uniform was a little different from the rest, but it was clear she was the leader.

"Do what they say, human child. No sense getting yourself into trouble for us," she said in a gentler voice than before. Her dark red eyes looked sorry for her.

She slowly lowered the gun and handed it to the FBI agent with dark hair. He took it and then they all leveled their guns at her and the Irkens. She took an involuntary step backwards. What the hell?! She stuck up for the aliens and her reward was getting shot!!

One of the Elite soldiers took her by the shoulder and made her stand behind them.

"They're kidnapping an innocent human girl! Open fire!" yelled the dark haired agent.

Mona pushed forward, yelling, "NO!"

A hail of bullets came at them, some hitting the Irkens, others hitting her.

"Cease fire, I repeat, CEASE FIRE!" yelled another FBI agent. They were all standing right there, so why he bothered to use his Walkie talkie was beyond her. Maybe he was just stupid.

Dimly, she realized she had been shot and was bleeding, but she didn't care at the moment. Her brother would have a field day, that was for sure.

Ignoring the angry muttering and cursing of the wounded behind her, she stepped forward.

"I warned you once, I'll warn you guys again. They're fixing their ship and then they are leaving. LEAVING. Understand? No aliens to capture here, no ship to wreck, nothing. Go home or WHATEVER and get the fuck out of this park," she said coldly but commandingly. She wasn;t used to givingout orders and she certainly wasn;t used to having them obeyed, but she was and they did. They scrambled.

She had cleared the entire park on her own. It was a rish. Or maybe that was just the blood she was losing.

She felt her legs give out and someone caught her arms from behind, saving her head hitting the metal flooring. For the first time in her life, she blacked out.

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Karo wasn't sure WHAT to think, to be honest. She didn't know much about the humans, but this female was different than the sniveling morons who had come to watch in awe.  
She had taken command of the situation quickly and with surprising results. Her people listened to her, even though she was a mere child in their eyes and probably not trained. Was it in her voice or her eyes?

In any case, she lay next to the other Irkens who had been injured by the human's bullets. Some were out cold while their PAK's and the Massive's computers tried fixing them, while others were well enough to sit up straight and assist the computers and Medi irkens in pulling metal from their skin themselves. The human was among those unconcious.

Her blood lay all around her, red as rubies, glistening as the eyes of their Almighty Tallest Red. Her clothers were soaked with it, holes had been otrn in her flesh and her clothing, gaping, raw wounds that were hard to look at even for her, and she was a hardened Elite Commander.

"What do we do with the human?" asked an Irken Elite under her command nervoucly.He had dark green eyes with teal undertints and one of his antennae was torn in half.

"Is she stable?" she asked.

"Stable as far as the computer is concerned. The Medi's have got the bullets out but her wounds aren't closing right," said the Irken worriedly. It seemed he, like she, was grateful for her interference.

"They won't heal right away. She's human. She has to heal the normal way," said Karo sternly, observing the girl herself. As she watched, a Medi Irken stripped her of her ruined clothing, revealing a body as pale as the rest of her, clothed in nothing now except scant black under garnments. Aside from the mammary glands, the pale skin, the hair and the lack of any PAK, she might have been Irken. Were Irkens and humans so much alike?

"Tell the Medi Irkens to close her wounds as best as they can, Use the Organ viewers to figure out of any damage has been done. If there has... just tell them to do their job. It's what they pay them for," she snapped. She was sick of looking at the strange, bright red blood and the gory, exposed muscle. That she was breathing at all was a miracle to Karo.

She had other wounded to look after.

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My Tallest, begging you pardon the interrruption, but Elite Commander 23343-Y-7 Karo has just informed me that she directed the best of her Elite to the outside to deal with the humans, but-"

"But?" Red interrupted.

Rarl Kove, official informant to the Almighty Tallest, hesitated. Anyone who hung around the Tallest all day like he did knew the Tallest Red's odd, tentative friendship with the human girl.

"The human called Mona returned to The Massive and stole a gun from one of the human law enforcers and scared most of them away, but one of the Elite pulled her back and the humans opened fire. Many are wounded, one so far is dead and the human is unconcious," Rarl reported. It was his job, after all. What else could he do?

Tallest Purple stared, not really affected, but Tallest Red dropped his cola cup and follwed Rarl out of the door. Purple followed for lack of anything better to do.

Rarl led them both to the Sick Bay of the Massive and he saw the carnage for himself. He had gotten his report from Karo herself, in the hallway leading to the bridge, but he wasn't used to seeing blood, Irken or otherwise.

It was everywhere. On the aprons of the Medi Irkens, on the floor in little droplets, on the beds in which the wounded lay... Purple clutched his squeedily spooch and his skin went pale.

Tallest Red seemed to remember his days as an Elite himself, because he went around to each bed like a proper leader. Rarl didn't blame Tallest Purple.

Red made sure the soldiers were at least in stable condition. The human's weapons were messy! And so primitive! Chunks of flying metal... he shook his head. Pitiful.

He got to Mona and he stopped dead in his tracks. She was lying on a bed next to a soldier who was pretty much okay except for a wound on his upper arm. The top of his uniform had been stripped off to clean it properly. He bowed his head at Red's approach and Red nodded, not really caring. He only liked Mona because she was different. She was sympathetic to their cause. He was not involved any more than that, whatever anyone thought, but even so... seeing her like this was something he had not been prepared for.

Her dark blue hair was spread out on the head, framing her entire face and head like a mane and her eyes were closed. Blood stained her neck and face in small smears, dried brown. Her blood was vastly different from his own green blood. Her human blood was bright red, settling into glistening pools of black-red where there was more of it.

A medi Irken was tending her as Red watched.

"Someone go get Karo. Now! Do it!" he demanded. It was one of the good things about being the Tallest, was that he got to boss people around no matter who they were. It was pretty neat.

In a few moments, the Elite Commander appeared at his side. She was shorter than he was (Duh!) but she was about as tall as Mona was, so at least he didn't have to look down so much.

"Sir? My Tallest?" she said respectfully.

"WHY did the humans feel the need to shoot our troops again?" he asked speculatively.

Well, sir, I think that might be Sproog's fault, sir. He pulled the human out of harm's way of those FBI humans and they thought we were taking her hostage. They opened fire," she explained sheepishly.

Purple appeared beside him, looking sick and Red told him to get lost and go throw up. He happily obliged.

Bring Sproog here," Red said quietly. Being faced with the carnage reminded him of hisown days as an Elite and he didn't like it. He'd had to work for his respect. Being Tallest was much better.

"Well, he's the only one so far who's died. The humans managed to shoot him in the head and his PAK was also destroyed, sir. There's no hope for him," replied the Commander.

Red sighed again and dismissed her.

He stared for a long time at the human's progress. The Medi Irkens had managed to close her gaping wounds, but the flesh sealant used on so many Irkens was not taking hold on her skin. The sealant they used prevented scarring and healed it more or less in about five minutes with the help of the PAK. With Mona, all it was doing was making her skin more slick with blood and sealant. They needed a human doctor in here.

And he knew just how to find one.

He grimly decided to take matters into his own hands. No one directly interfered in Operation Impending Doom 2... not even the planets to be conquered. And they most certainly did NOT mess with the Almighty Tallest.

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Red demanded the use of one of the Emergency escape ships located in one of the side pods of The Massive. Contrary to popular rumor, only one of the side pods were wholly dedicated to snacks.

Red figured, by most of the popular leadership images humans held so dear, that if he went alone as a leader of the Irken Empire, no one would shoot him. No one would DARE. But he brought a ray gun just in case.

He started up the ship's engines and opened the hatch in the pod of The Massive. Not many knew The Massive had escape pods.

He flew out of The Massive and began targeting someplace where he could find a human hospital.

Within thirty minutes of Earth time, he found one and landed on its roof. He made sure to deploy the defense shields before he left it, as well.

Up here, the air was thinner against his skin. He didn't know how hard it was to breathe because he was wearing one of the invisible air hoods all Irkens wore on foreign planets where the atmosphere was different. The sky was a clear, light blue, though not as light as Mona's eyes, and it was dotted here and there by fluffy white clouds. Their sun shone, hot and bright.

He saw a set of stairs and he made his way to them, wondering what place would be best to get a doctor.

He reached a landing and a door and decided, on a whim, to take it. So far he had seen no other humans. When he did see one, he would pull out his gun and demand they take him to a doctor.

Lo and behold, he got his chance almost as soon as he hovered away from the door. A young man was walking towards him down a very busy hallway, his face buried in a clipboard. He saw Tallest Red and froze.

Red pulled out his ray gun and pointed it at close range to the human, so no one could see he had a weapon. He wanted to borrow a human doctor, not cause a riot.

"Take me to a human doctor who knows how to close large wounds, and do it now. Don't yell. Don't cause a scene," he said quietly, close to the human's ear. The human was taller than any he had seen so far, up to his shoulder. He remembered Zim telling him and Purple that humans were tall, but stupid.

Up this close, he could see the pores in the human's skin and could almost feel the man trembling. He was afraid of him.

"Dude... y'you're already making one, man, you're a freaking alien in a hospital," said the man in a trembling voice.

He supposed this much was true.

"You know, on MY home planet, YOU'RE the aliens. Now take me to a doctor," he demanded.

The human turned abruptly and did as he said, taking him down hallways and corridors wider than the last and all painted a blinding shade of white, sterilized and smelling of poison in his nasal cavities. Irken's didn't have noses like the humans did, but they still had a sense of smell.

Wherever the human led him, people dropped what they were doing and stared at him. He merely waved, giving them sarcastic smiles. Might as well make a good impression, he figured.

The human barged into a room with full beds and blurted out, "Doctor Heath this alien guy here wanted me to take him to a doctor and you were the only one I could think of please don't let him shoot me!"

Red sighed and shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment. He pushed the human away from him and dropped his ray gun to his side.

"My name is Red. I'm one of the Almighty Tallest, a leader of the Irken Empire. You might know that big-ish ship that's parked in your, um... park? Yeah, that's us. Well, something came up and someone got hurt, so we need you to come with me. NOW." he explained.

The doctor and his patients simply stared.

"Someone got hurt?" asked the old human. He had eyes almost as blue as Mona's and very white hair.

"A little girl. She needs medical help and my doctors can't do a lot," he lied. Well, it was sort of lying, the Medi Irkens had gotten her in stable condition, but Mona wasn't really what the humans considered a "little girl". She was, by their standards, a very young adult. All the same, these humans cared for their young more than anything else, so it was a lie he had to tell.

"Al-alright, I suppose... I'll need someone to come with me and help-"

"Great! Come with me, DOCTOR," Red interrupted, and he pulled the old man by the wrist, out of the room, back through the halls and towards the stairs he had come here from. As they passed a desk full of humans, the old man shouted, "I'll be back soon, just have to help the aliens! No one's taking me hostage, I'm perfectly fine!"

Red groaned and hovered faster.

"I need my equipment!" he begged. Red slowed an stopped and the man ran for the desk and talking frantically with the woman there. Red came up behind him and looked down at his balding white head.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat. The man was getting things from the woman behind the desk, tape, gauze, cloths, what looked like needles and string, scissors that looked a little wierd, vials of various liquids and gloves.

He put them all in a bag and turned back.

"Alright, I'm ready, I suppose. How are we getting there? What happened?" the man demanded.

"Your FBI and their primitive human guns, that's what happened. Thhis girl is sort of a friend of the Irken Empire, so I expect you to do all you can," Red demanded once again. He was getting good at coming across mean!

He led the human up the stairs and onto the roof, where his temporary ship lay gleaming in the sun above. It was vaguely X-shaped, gray with a clear blue cockpit that came in handy for extra bright suns like the one the humans orbited.

"Get in," he said shortly, pressing a button on the machine he wore on both wrists. They had buttons to gain access to any guarded machinery, such as locked ships and guarded buildings. It came in handy.

He helped the old man into the cockpit and then he himself got in. The cockpit closed andhe punched the burn pad. The ship began to rise, and in five seconds, it shot off.

He could hear the human screaming from behind him, but he didn't pay much attention. They were almost there...

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There was a loud beeping sound from the corner and Medi Irken Kata hurried to the bed there. As he suspected, it was the human. They had hooked her up to a sort of intermediate PAK system that stood on a metal table on wheels. It resemlbed a large, metal box with tubing coming from it. It was keeping her in her stable condition, but it wasn't formulated for Hhuman biochemistry; her body was rejecting the PAK system's pain medicine. She was waking up.

"Can't someone reformulate that thing for her? We can't have her waking up, she'll move around and undo everything we've worked on so far!" Kata demanded.

At that very moment, there was a slight vibration coming from one of the side pods. Moments after that, Tallest Red came hurrying into the Suck Bay, another human in tow. This one looked old, with white hair and a long white coat on. Apparently, he was some sort of human doctor.

"My Tallest, her body is rejecting the PAK system's medication. She's waking up!" Kata informed his superior.

"You told me she was a little girl!" the old human yelled at Tallest Red.

It was pandemonium! Every time an Irken got better, something went wrong with the human's care. Most of the Irkens were pretty much fine by now, save for about three, and a lot of them were crowded around the human's bedside, wanting to get a glimpse of her alien intestines. Kata hurried them away.

There was a gaping hole in her belly, revealing a lot of grayish purple intestines and dark red organs and there was another smaller hole in her upper left arm, revealing nothing but muscle and a thin layer of yellowish fat. Those were the worst wounds. Then there was a smaller wound in the lower leg, her collarbone and another that had grazed the side of her head. Her skin there was the ugliest shade of crusted purple-black-red Kata had ever seen. This job had never msde him feel sorry for his patiuents before, but he felt sorry for this girl.

"Let me through. Out of the way!" came an older voice. The human was trying to get to her. Kata let him through.

"Who is the alien in charge of the wounded?" the old man demanded.

"That would be me. Medi Irken Kata. We've done everything that works with most other aliens and ourselves, but she just seems to be rejecting everything we've got," Kata spoke up. His light blue robes were stained in Irken and human blood and he longed more than anything to change.

The human pulled on a pair of thin white gloves that smelled like powder and he began gently probing the human's soft, blood-slicked skin. It was everywhere, she was covered in it.

"All she seems to need is her lower intestine repaired and her wounds stitched. This is the worst case I've seen in years. She's lucky to be alive," said the doctor frantically. He had hair on his upper lip and it muffled his vocie somewhat.

He filled a needle with clear liquid and shoved it into the girl's arm.

"You have to be kidding me! Here we are trying NOT to make any more holes, and you go and stick her with needles!" muttered another Medi Irken.

"Be quiet, you. I'm only doing this as a duty to my species, and because this poor girl was caught in the cross fire, AND I'm doing it for free,so be quiet, you insolent little fool," the man scolded the one who had spoken. Kata threw him a dirty glance and forced himself to cooperate with this barbaric human doctor.

"Anything we can do is at your disposal if it'll help her," he told the man.

"AAt least YOU'R decent. Thank you. Could someone please put on a pair of clean gloves from that box there and hold the hole in her intestine together?" he asked.

Since Kata was the most qualified, he pulled his black gloves off and pulled on a pair of sterilized Irken issued ones. They were thin latex and whtie, just like the human's.

"The liquid I injected her with is anasthetic. It'll keep her asleep and pain free," the man explained.

The lighting in Sick Bay was always good, or else Kata would have needed to peer closer. It was difficult to tell her organs apart. Her intestines were gray-purple, the veins, dark blue and red and the entire wound was filled with blood.

"She's lost too much blood. It's a good thing I brought supplements," the human muttered to himself. Kata held the sausage-like organ together and watched interestedly as the human doctor pulled a curved needle and thread through the organ, sewing it together like a pillow.

THREE HOURS LATER

It was done. It was all he could do under the circumstances. Her organs had been miraculously undamaged aside from the small tears in her intestines and all she'd needed was some blood replenisher and a lot of stitches. They snaked their way across her body like large, blotched tattoos. He had had to stretch the loose sin around her stoomach a lot to accomodate the gaping hole in her gut, but once it healed properly, she would be able to stretch again.

Even though he had done it for free and didn't eve know the girl's name, he felt good that he helped her. He had managed to save a life.

Whatever. Time to ge back to work.

Another alien showed him out of the ship and clubbed him on the head before he left. By the time he awoke, the ship was gone, it was dark and he didn't remember any of it.

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In Sick Bay, nearly every Irken Elite who had stood by her earlier and both Almight Tallests hovered around the human's beside. The primitive human stitches looked ugly, blotching her fair skin an ugly purple-red color. She looked like a living jugsaw puzzle put back together by a madman with a needle and thread, in Red's opinion.

"The drug is wearing off. She should be waking up any time now," said Kata. Indeed, his Organ monitor showed her brain acticity increasing by the minute.

Finally, at long last, Mona opened her eyes. Red and Purple held their breath. Would she remember everything? Was she aware of all that had went on while she was out of it?

She looked around her, at every sngle Irken and Medi Irken and Elite, her expression bleary and dazed, her eyes looking even bluer than usual in contrast with the dried blood. When she spoke, everyone laughed.

She looked right at one of the Medi Irkens and managed a small smile. All the Irkens who had attended the wounded were covered in green Irken blood and her human blood.

"You look like Christmas."

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PLEASE REVIEW!! I know, a lot longer than I'd intended, but I had fun writing it! Review or I'll sic GIR on you! 


	12. The Almighty Smallest

As Rain recovers, aided by Irken technology, someone gives her a mocking nickname... well you'll find out.

VERY IMPORTANT pivotal turn point here! PLEASE REVIEW!

Also, I wanted to get something straight. KARO is the Elite Commander of the Irken Elite, a female, KATO is the head Medi Irken and is male... I was a little confused at first, too.

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Most of the Elites congratulated Mona for her chivalry, stepping in front of them when the FBI drew their weapons,defending them to her own species.

Most. Except, it seemed, one.

Rome watched, a mixture of jealousy and hurt on his face. Here he was, a brilliant mind, a scientist, not a soldier, shunted to the side like so much garbage, over one small alien. He'd liked her at first, but she was no scientist. She was a ruffian.

He fingered the thing in his pocket. Soon he would find out just how much she could handle.

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Tallest Red watched too.

"I'm glad it has a happy ending after all," said Purple, smiling. Red nodded.

"Me too."

Mona sat up on the bed, looking tired but better than she was. A lot of the Elites shook her hand, but Elite commander Karo actually gave her a delicate hug. She knew humans liked little things like that. It waws unbecoming, because of her rank, but the Tallest didn't make a big deal out of it.

"Congratulations, my Almighty Smallest," said another voice. Red snapped his head around and saw Rome, one of the scientists from the lab. He didn't look very congratulatory. On the contrary, he looked like he wwas trying not to cry.

They had had problems with Rome before, mostly because he wanted to be promoted and have his PAK re encoded as something better than a scientist.

He shook Mona's hand, but only briefly.

Mona didn't miss Rome's expression. She frowned slightly through the dried blood on her face and set her mouth into a grim line.

She requested a cloth dipped in water, so she could clean herself, but no one had any water. It was like acid to an Irken.

She tried to sit up and walk, but as soon as her feet touched the flor, she discovered her ankle where she had been shot would not supporther. She staggered and fell, crashing into him. It brought them both to the floor.

"Ahh!"

"Shit!"

She lay on top of him, but her stitches were threatening to come undone. He got his mechanical spider legs attachements out and gently picked her up off of him. Then using his spider legs, he helped himself stand up again. He had not missed the weight of her body on top of his, nor ignored the fact that she was very warm and squishy. He liked squishy.

He shook his head to clear her scent out of his nasal cavities. Something like mint and cold air and fresh leaves... soap perhaps?

"Hmm... we might have something to help your more minoR wounds heal faster... here we go!" said another Medi Irken. He pulled out what looked like a tube of terrycloth and gently wrapped it around her ankle.

"Ahhh... it feels... like... fur," she said. Her muscles went tense and Red also noticed that nearly every inch of the human body must be covered in muscle.

"You okay?" asked Purple.

"Yeah, she's not heavy," he muttered, wiping mud from the floor off his arms and outfit.

Mona got up to her feet once again and this time, she could stand relatively well.

"What did Rome call me? "Almighty Smallest" ?" she asked.

"Yes. You're tiny," said Rome darkly from the back of the crowd.

Mona brought herself to her full height, which wasn't much taller than Zim, and she glared at Rome, her light blue eyes taking on a steely glint. She walked towards the disgruntled scientist with only a slight limp, favoring the wounded ankle.

"Almighty Smallest seemed fitting, is all," said Rome, slightly nervous under her cold gaze. She smiled. It did not reach her eyes.

"Being small has advantages. I can fit into spaces no one else can. Being small and FURIOUS has even more. DON'T test me, Rome," she said coldly.

"Actually, I sort of like that title. It's mocking, but it's fitting," said Purple speculatively.

"I know. I think it's sort of cute," said Mona, turning to them, all hints of anger gone in an instant.

"Sire," said Rarl from Red's elbow.

He looked down into Rarl's ugly face and green eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"We believe we've found the problem with the ship. However, the opening is too small. No one can get into it without getting stuck," he reported.

Everyone looked to Mona, who was the smallest one there by an inch, however wounded she might be. Almighty Smallest indeed.

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Rome saw his chance. He took it.

He hurried off to the duct that people kept getting stuck in and planted the thing in his pocket. He left before anyone noticed him.

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Both Tallests escorted her down to the area in question themselves, dismissing everyone else to go nurse their wounds and get back to whatever.

She still limped, but she was refusing to show her discomfort. She went shirtless when her own bloodstained one kept getting caught on the plastic thread running through her flesh. Red really was revolted by them. The black thread poking out of the white flesh discomforted him more than the wounds themselves.\

He also noticed that human females differed from males in that they were really curvy.

Was he falling in love with this human alien? Preposterous! He should check the hormone suppression levels in his PAK when he got a chance. Perhaps they were iffy.

The panel in question was set low into the floor and the bare wiring was revealed. It was only big enough for someone VERY flexible. A PAK would inhibit them. It would have to be Mona.

"If you hear me cry out, it means something broke open," she tried joking, and she bent down and twisted herself so she fit into the opening. Her ribcage showed beneath the skin momentarily and Red got to thinking that the human and Irken skeletal structure were very similar.

She disappeared into the hole in the floor.

They waited. After awhile, Purple pulled a bag of chips out of his PAK and began munching on them. Red stole a few and Purple retaliated by throwing the empty bag at his head.

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Down inside the wall, Mona was having a hard time of it. Not only were her clothes ruined and her flesh bruised and torn asunder, she was stuck crawling on her injured belly in a tunnel only big enough for her to roll over in. This she did, so she was crawling along on her back and sides rather than her hurting belly. She was painfully aware of the stitches there.

Not two feet into the tunnel, she pricked her leg on something sharp and cursed to herself, crawling on. Her leg where it had been pricked throbbed unpleasantly for a few moments afterwards and she felt queasy. God, she hoped she didn't get tetenus. THAT would SUCK.

It was very dark and every here and there, she could see small gray tufts of something... insulation for the wires, perhaps? But her face brushed against it and she smelled something very familiar. It was cat fur.

She came to a T junction and now felt sure she knew what she was looking for.

"Raaaoooowrrrrr... mraaawwwwwwwwwww,"

She followed the sound of the mourful wailing and came to a dead end of wires and sheet metal. The cat was there, shivering in fright and hunger, its fur fluffed out, crying pitifully. Its eyes were blue.

"Come on, baby kitty... it's okay, come'ere," she crooned to it. She had to flop over onto her stomach in order to pick up the cat with both hands, and then it was crawling using nothing but her lower extremeties. It made her wish she worked out more.

She used her stomach muscles despite the bright hot jolts of pain it sent through her guts, flexing eveything from her ankles muscles to her butt muscles just to get out of the enclosed space.

"Coming out," she called, hoping they would hear her.

She saw the light at the end of the tunnel (A/N: Excuse the cheesy pun, I was trying to make fun of that stupid myth) and struggled even harder, aware that her elbows and stitches and the cat were all being pushed to their limit.

Strong hands helped pull her out of the hole in the floor and another pair of hands settled themselves on her waist to steady her. They belonged to the Almighty Tallest Red and Purple.

The cat, still shivering, maowed in her arms and began licking her finger.

"What is THAT?" asked Purple incredulously.

"It's a cat. Almighty smallest strikes again," Mona joked.

The throbbing in her leg had dulled and by nightfall, she had forgotten all about it.

"Mrawr?"

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PLEASE REVIEW!! 


	13. Departure, keepsakes, kisses and dreams

Thank you for all the reviews and keep them coming!! I love the little poem, btw, hahaha

For longer than I can remember,  
I've been looking for a romance fic or two A fic with Red and an OC too Birds sing and you should GIMMEH THE NEXT CHAPTER SOON!! HERE'S A COMPLEMENTARY BUNNY WITH RABIES!

hahah thanks for the bunny, lol.

A little correction, though. No, the cat is NOT what Rome planted, he planted... well... go back and watch "bolonius maximus" and you'll get it. He left a tack... infused with... something... dun dun DUUUN MOTHERFUCKAAAS! much may not have appeared to happen last chapter, but actually, it was a fairly significant thing. Mona got her first dosage of... well, you'll see.

PLEASE REVIEW!

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"All that time something was wrong with the ship and it was a human pet!"

Purple hadn't shut up about it since Mona had emerged, dusty and in pain, with the animal clutched tightly in her arms. Now it lay curled up in her lap, its head buried behind its paws, purring contentedly. It was gray with whtie splotches on its chest and face, patches of yellow on its back and tail.

Red sat back and sipped his Irken Cola. He chose to abdicate his usual seat in favor of sitting next to the human girl so he could talk to her more about the domination of Earth.

She was telling him about the different animals on earth, the good and the creepy, and Red was rather interested to hear more about these "giraffes" she wwas talking about. An animal thirty feet tall??

"Their tongues are gray and like three feet long and they're sticky for grabbing hold of branches and stuff," she was explaining.

"Our tongues are long, too," piped up one of the communications officers. He pulled his high collar down to reveal his mouth and chin and to prove the point, he opened his mouth wide and stuck his tongue out. Red watched, amused, knowing what he was going to do.

He lengthened it until it was nearly a foot long, and just to creep her out, Red supposed, snaked it along the girl's shoulder and up the side of her face.

The reaction was like a volcano.

Despite her injuries, she got to her feet immediately and wiped the drool off her neck and face, revolted and bemused. She was simulatneously scolding the officer and laughing, her face blushed red.

"That was the most disgusting thing EVER... but kinda interesting, too. Why the hell are they so long??" she demanded, still wiping Irken drool off of herself. Red and Purple were laughing, as were the other communications officers.

Mona glared at them all. And then she turned her adfmirable skills on the rest of them.

"ENOUGH!!"

The scream was like a snarl that came from deep within her chest. They all stopped laughing at once.

"I think there was a reason, but I don't know for sure," the guilty officer replied, looking embarassed and a little cowed.

She shuddered again and for some reason, scratched her left leg, looking ained and annoyed.

"Must be a bugbite," she muttered, lifting her pant leg to reveal more of her bare flesh. There was a small red spot on her leg, surrounded by bruised-looking flesh.

Red chugged more of his cola and fished around in his pocket for something he always carried. It was his old Elite necklace. All accomplished Elites were given a special medallion, the Elite symbol, to wear round their necks before being promoted. He still had his, his name etched in Irken across the back. Meckle. His true name was Meckle. Not many knew it, he thought, smirking and finishing his cola.

"I suppose we should probly get going. We have Zim. No need to stick around. We'll send an invader down here eventually," said Purple.

"I should go, too. It was a pleasure hanging out with you guys. Tell Rome I said he needs to get laid before someone thinks he has something shoved up his ass," said Mona, and she began to leave, limping as she did, when Red caught up with her in the hallway.

He wasn't sure what one said to a friend.

He handed his old necklace to her.

She looked at it, turning it over and around, and then looked up at him, full in the face, her light blue eyes searching his. He suddenly felt very self concious and shifty.

To his surprise, she smiled and slipped the necklace over her head. She stepped on a box lying in the hall, stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, then hopped down and towards the door of the Massive, leaving Red standing there, a finger to the spot she had kissed, looking dazed.

She didn't turn back.

He didn't see her again for several months. On earth, it was a year and a half.

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Mona walked through the night, wishing she had said something to him. She knew he liked her, and she did like him... but he wasn't human, nor she Irken. She scratched absently at her leg again. It had once more begun to throb. She wondered what exactly she had impaled it on in that tunnel.

But then again, she was afraid of what her brother would do or say when he discovered she had been shot defending the aliens. The media had been there, it had been on TV. The government knew she had been involved.

She grinned. She could sue the FBI for shooting an innocent girl.

Still, she wished she had given him more than a kiss on the cheek and a meaningfull look.

Still, she had his necklace to remember him by. The symbol at the end was exactly the same as the symbol tattooed on the heads of the Elites. There was Irken writing on the back and she supposed it was a name. His, perhaps?

She rubbed it as she walked, one hand on the necklace, the other tracing a pattern around the stiches across her belly. Behind her, she heard The Massive's engines start up and she turned. It was rising up into the night sky, rising slowly... she looked to the bridge and thought she saw Red's face, watching her... or she might have imagined it.

It rose another four feet and shot off into the night sky. One minute it was there, the next... gone.

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"Master!! You're back! You're hurt!" GIR swarmed her the minute she walked through the door. Her brother was there, too, of course.

He attacked her the moment she closed her front door, smothering her in a hug that threatened to open the stiches across her collar bone.

"Back off, Micah, I'm fine!! The Irkens fixed me up fine, and all I want now is to go upstairs and rest, okay?? They left," she informed him.

"But you were SHOT by the FB-fucking-I... THE FBI!!" Micah exploded angrily. GIR flinched and backed up a step, his expression blank.

She had forgotten about the little SIR unit. It was yet another reminder that the Alien's visit hadn't been a dream.

She scooped him up into her arms and went upstairs to go to sleep.

Her dreams were filled with roses and blood, black and Red.

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Zim felt the ship's engines shudder back into life. So they must have fixed the problem. They were going back to Irk.

He wasn't stupid. Once they arrived on Irk, he would be tried and executed. He had caused too much damage, accidentally killed too many of his own species. He didn't even have GIR anymore. He was probably back down on Earth, eating all the taquitos in sight and annoying someone else for a change.

He leaned his head back against the cool metal of the wall and stareed at the ceiling. Out of boredom, he pulled a handheld video game he'd stolen from the Dib human's sister out of his PAK and began trying to kill vampire pigs. His last thought before The Massive headed out of Earth's atmosphere was if GIR were there with him, he'd probably be sleeping on Zim's head.

He smiled sadly.

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Tallest Red stared out the window of the bridge at Earth from orbit and thought again of how pretty things there were. When it was converted to a vacation planet, he made a mental note to invite Mona someplace and have her teach him more about the place.

Again, he touched the spot on his cheek where her lips had brushed against his skin and wondered at the reason why Irkens weren't allowed to breed or have relations. Certainly not with aliens, yet there it wwas. Facts were facts. He was smitten, as the more ancient Irkens might say. There were some Irkens still alive who remembered the breeding days, before the genetic libraries were created to make things simpler and easier to control.

He didn't bother checking the hormone suppressors in his PAK. He knew what his problem was and he would prefer to keep it to himself.

His problem wasn't his hormones or his body. It was his mind. She had captured and captivated it with her words and her voice, her expressions and, most of all, her eyes. Never before would he be able to see a clear shade of light blue without thinking of them. Had she perhaps captivated his heart as well? He had never been in love with anyone before.

He supposed it was possible.

As he was thinking this, Mona was sleeping, tossing and turning, her dreams disturbed. Dark black blood, roiling like oceanw aves, mixing with the fresh green of winter holly... combining... mixing... fighting for control... finally... merging...

Forming something new.

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Ooooooo she's mutating... even her dreams are telling her something's up. Next chapter soon!! 


	14. Something wrong

Hey, to credit the poem from last chapter's review, that was written by grogie13, and yes, you were right grogie... she is becoming Irken, though not... reeeeeallly...

Zim is depressed and he probably won't show up much here, until he dies (GASP!) and I love Zim but he just had to die in the context of this fic, so apologies.

This will mostly canvass the passing of time, passing back and forth between Red and Mona

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Three days after the Irken's left, Mona woke up with a rash on the left side of her body, flaky and scaly, dark red and green. Her brother thought it was the result of some sort of bug bite and urged her to get it checked out, but before she got the chance, it disappeared.

A few days after the rash disappeared, her head began to itch. She washed her hair and it stopped. Maybe it was just fleas or something... but she had no pets.

GIR seemed to miss his previous master, but if she presented him with a taquito or a cupcake, he was immediately transported to robot heaven and forgot all about his mopiness.

A week after the Irkens left, Mona experienced a fluctuation in her monthly "course" but thought nothing of it. It wasn't a first.

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Tallest Red and Purple oversaw Zim's execution personally. The control brains deemed him a defect, a murderer and a meddler and his PAK was forcibly removed. As they watched, Red got to thinking of Mona again and what she might say if she could see what he could. She might be cold at times, but he had also seen her at her most sentimental, via the video feeds from before he met her; seeing Zim die might have been the most awesome thing he'd ever see, but after knowing Mona, he just felt... sad?

Just before most of his mental functions left him without his PAK, he looked directly into Red's eyes, red meeting red, one pair sad, the other pair heartbroken and dying.

Zim looked directly into his leader's eyes and swallowed.

"If you see GIR... tell him I loved him. And he can still have the moon when I take over Earth... I... Am... ZIIIM!!"

His eyes went dim and his intelligence left him as his brain functions shut down. For the first time, Red wondered if their executions of "Defects" were really beneficial after all. It cleansed the military of nuisances like Zim, sure, but what about the civilian life?

As he looked at the dying Irken, he thought of Mona and how humans lived, and for the first time in his life, he felt like crying.

What was wrong with him??

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A month on Earth and Mona came down with a dangerously high fever. GIR took care of her, obeying her every word, which was odd for him, and she soon got better. Her brother, meanwhile, tended to her healing wounds. The stitches in her ankle and the rest of the minor wounds were removed, whie the stitches in her belly and collar stayed put. It would leave heavy scarring.

Almost as soon as she got over her fever, her uncle died, leaving her in charge of his club in another town. He also left her a car, so she could take care of the place. Occasionally, she and what friends she did have played there as musicians. They had fun for awhile.

Until something started to go wrong with her eyesight. Things were blurry sometimes. During the middle of one show, in which she was singing, things got so bad under the bright lighting that all she saw below the stage wre blurs and shadows. She got so disoriented that she staggered and fell, and the club had to be shut down.

While she insisted to her brother that she was absolutely fine, the FBI thought otherwise. They were calling her, day and night, insisting on government testing. When she couldn't get to the phone to tell them no thank you, GIR frustrated them to no end by answering their calls with nonsensical answers, such as "ya got any of them taquitooos?" and hanging up.

She and GIR had gotten pretty close. Sometimes, she encouraged his childish behavior, sometimes, she ignored it. It really was like having a kid around the house. He loved rubber piggies. For her own birthday in March, she bought him a small, stuffed moose.

Three months after Red left Earth, her twin sisters had to call an ambulence when her vision left her almost completely while driving. No one was hurt, but she was declared legally blind for about three minutes. What was wrong with her?

On a whim, she bought some contact lenses and that seemed to do the trick. Her vision from then on was fine.

Half a year. Six months. The bug bite on her leg had never really gone away, now seemed to resemble an odd, red-colored birthmark that itched occasionally.

Seven months and the time she spent with Tallest Red and the rest of the Irkens on The Massive seemed distant, like a dream. She might have considered it as such entirely if it weren't for GIR and the Elite medallion around her neck. She never took it off.

She woke up the morning of August first with an interesting new addition. Long, curly black antennae sprouted from up behind her ears, going straight out and down, the curls falling just short of her shoulders.

She knew what was wrong with her.

She didn't know whose fault it was, but she knew how it had happened. That thing that had pricked her leg crawling in the service tunnel of The Massive had been some sort of DNA prick or something... but DNA pricks didn't come by service tunnels by accident. This was SOMEONE's fault. And she was going to find out who if it killed her.

She took out one of her contact lenses and, with her one good eye, saw that without the lense, her eye was pupil-less and completely and totally blue, like an Irken eye. Within a few days, she could see fine without the lenses. She bought new ones simply to help as a disguise and took to wearing a hat, to push her new antennae flat against her neck with the rest of her hair. Hopefully no one would ask questions. For good measure, she began curling the ends of her hair.

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Rome monitored her progress, of course. He had slipped a microscopic measuring device on the back of her hand that measured her body's reactions to the DNA he had introduced via the tack and also had audio.

The cells were mixing and forming something new, a true Irken hybrid.

In point of fact, the introduction of Irken DNA should have killed her.

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More to come soon, for now I have to play house lackey. 


	15. Halloween masquerade bash

Skipping ahead a lot here, I intend to turn this into a 20+chapter fic, and with any luck, it might reach 30. No promises though.

Yes, I know, I killed Zim. I am truly sorry. Maybe he'll make a comeback... you know what they say. There's a big difference between dead, and gone.

No more telling you!!

Much thanks to my (so far) biggest reviewers, watergoddesskasey, jo-schmo666 (my best friend EVAAAAIIIR) and grogie13. Keep it up, it inspires me to write more! Ironically, this isn't the first story jo-schmo, aka joanna has made it into. I put her into a lot of my fics, because I know her so well, and she likes seeing her name in print... attention whore, hahahaha. Just kidding, mate, loveya schmoey!

What I meant last chapter, when Rome's POV was messing you all up, was humans have 21 pairs of chromosomes... Irken's have 22. Humans CAN have an extra chromosome, it just makes them incredibly stupid. So insteasd of messing her up and destroying her, it just made her stronger, when the Irken and human DNA fused together.

It's getting close to Halloween and Mona is used to her new self by now... she's even developed a little temper, hehehe.

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Mona knew exactly what was "up" when, around mid September, things in the government started blowing up and hitting the dirt hard. The Irkens had sent an Invader to Earth and he or she was destroying the place.

But the incidents were small in the grand scheme of things. She guessed the Tallest didn't want their future vacation planet getting scarred.

Within two weeks, the President of the United States had been "publicly revealed" beating some pet kittens to death. Whether or not he did it of his own accord was anyone's guess, but one thing for sure, no one was voting him in for a second term.

The very next day after this shocking news, she got a messenger at her door. It was a cleverly disguised SIR unit with no mouth and a message for her.

"Human Mona, sir!" it barked the moment she opened the door.

"Um... yes?" she asked.

GIR appeared at her side, sipping a SuckMunky and when he saw the SIR unit, he dropped it and waved enthusiastically.

The SIR unit glared at him, red eyes narrowed almost to the point of disappearing. It looked quite evil.

"Message from my master, Invader Tenn. She says you are to send your SIR unit back with me. The Tallest require it," said the SIR unit.

Without thinking, she pushed GIR behind her and, stepping outside, closed the door.

"No."

The SIR unit measured her up for a moment, its expression blank.

"She has also informed me that you are important to the domination of this planet. The Tallest need a time and place to meet you. They also informed my master Invader Tenn to tell me to inform you that you need identification to prove that it's you," said the SIR unit. There was nothing but authority in its voice. It was nothing like GIR. It was creepy.

She thought about it for a moment. It was almost Halloween. What better way to disguise the Irkens than on the one night where EVERYONE looked inhuman?

She vanished back inside the house and retrieved a slip of paper and a pen, scribbled the adress of the club down, and a time when she would be there, and the date, October 31st.

She handed it to the SIR unit and gave this Invader Tenn a message of her own.

"Tell her I'll give my SIR unit back to the Tallest when they request it from me themselves with a reason. I know it's your technology, but we've gotten quite used to each other. As for identification, I have Tallest Red's medallion. That should be enough. I'll see her then."

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In the days leading up to her appointment on Halloween, she practiced with her friends. Joanna, on loan from England for a few months, was the backup (sometimes lead) singer and rythym guitarist, one of her twin sisters, Bridget, was the bassist and her old high school friend Eric was the drummer. He was lithe and wiry, so he was perfect for it.

She herself was the lead guitarist and vocalist. She had promoted GIR to keyboardist, and surprisingly, he was amazingly adept at it. It seemed randomness and dancing was what he liked, not service and being slavedriven everywhere.

The club compromised of one low-ceilinged room to the left side, where tables and a small bar were, while the main section of the place was much larger although there was no dividing wall, and the ceiling was high enough to encompass minor pyrotechnics. The club had its own pyrotech. There were lights, in all colors from black to red to green, as well as an impressive speaker system she had investeed in once her uncle died. She had also divied up the hours, which in turn attracted more people.

From 10AM to noon, it was for the older folks, coming in for a light lunch and beer or else someplace quiet to read the paper, and from 1PM to 3, it was closed. Four PM to 6, it was a dance club, techno and the like, and from 6PM to midnight, it was turned into a heavy metal rave club. Divying the scheduling like that attracted its own customers and seemed to rake in more cash. It was 5 at the door during non-alcoholic hours, 15 for alcohol. Plus the money raked in from booze and the paying customers coming in to see different bands perform, including hers.

Best of all, the club was completely soundproofed, from ceiling to floor, so no one could bitch about noise levels.

She and Joanna spent the most time together, writing riffs and rehersing new lyrics. Often, they goofed off, Mona making fun of Joanna's new haircut, Joanna making fin her Mona's new antennae and threatening to pull them out. Jo was the only one Mona had trusted with her little secret, because she knew she could keep her mouth shut.

Halloween day arrived.

It was spent geting ready, rehersing, making phone calls to the club's emoloyees to make sure everything was running according to schedule. It was sort of hectic.

Mona's "costume" would be her without her disguise on. She pulled her hat off, "forgot" to curl her hair, made sure her antennae were in plain sight and removed her contact lenses. For good measure, she kicked off her shoes and put on a thigh-length dress with shredded skirt pieces. The whole thing was a light, floaty material and she wore black spandex panties underneath in case she did any dancing. No one needed to see that all pubic hair had disappeared as a result of her mutation, did they? No, they did not.

An hour before they were set to go out to the club and set things up, she was doing Eric's makeup. He usually wore heavy eyeliner under his eyes, but today, the eyeliner was blue and red; he was going as a drowned man.

By the time they got to the club, she was surprised to see that it was packed.

Everywhere she looked, she saw antennae. Red eyes. Green skin. It seemed they had done their homework and knew today was the one day they could get away with it.

She approached the bartender, a thing, greasy-looking man, and he saw her "costume".

"You too, eh? You must be friends with all these foreign types," he said, wiping a glass.

"Yeah. Should we close the doors or what? This place is pretty packed," she said, scanning the place. She didn't see any sign of either Tallest. In fact... most of the Irkens she saw were wearing what appeared to be normal human clothes. Odd.

She nodded to the bouncers at the door and they closed them, shutting everyone in and plunging the room in darkness. Tonight would be a special show. Not only were Mona and her friends performing with heavy metal, they were going to do a bit of dance and alternative as well. Songs originally done by alanis morrisette and mr. president, so on and so on. A lot of the metal songs were their own creation.

She got up onstage and began hooking things up, programming the effects pedals, adjusting the speaker volumes, thing like that. The lights were not focused on the stage, so no one noticed her much at first. Suited her just fine.

"Wow, check everyone out... think it's some kind of big group outing or what?" Jo asked. She was unpacking the guitar chords as she spoke. She was made up as a succubus, her lips painted a blood red-black, plastic fang caps in her mouth and her clothes very biker-ish. Ripped black tank top and very short black shorts with knee high boots. There was fishnet up and down her arms.

Mona's sister Bridget made sure the keyboard was all set up right before GIR took over. It was set low to the floor of the stage especially so he could reach it. Bridget was dressed up as a slutty version of catwoman, dominatrix corset and and little black skirt included. It didn't really suit her.

Mona fixed the lights and suddenly, they were all bathed in a neon green light. Someone backstage started the smoke machine and from in the crowd she heard a very familiar voice scream, "WOOOOO!! Smoke machine, awyeah!!"

She looked up, her breath caught in her throat. She saw every Irken in the audience staring back at her. A few poked their neighbor and whispered, others simply stared, mouths open.

"Yeah, according to the bartender, they're all from Canada or sumthing," said Bridget in response to Jo's question. She already had her bass set up and was ready to go.

"Hey, honey, nice dress... want me to make a few adjustments for ya?" sneered a guy from in the front of the stage. He was human, she was thankful to see, but he was also disgusting.

She raised her hand and pointed to one of the bouncers. In total, there were three. She then pointed to the asshole pervert in front and smirked as the bouncer shoved and pulled him to the door.

She got the microphones all hooked up, along with the voice effects pedals, and she tapped hers once. It whined in response, making most of the Irkens pull back their antennae in pain, and she said, "sorry."

She heard someone else mutter something. The room wasn't exactly quiet, so they were muttering pretty loudly.

She looked her it took all she had to keep HER jaw from dropping.

It was Tallest Purple. She only recognized him because he was taller than everyone else. He wore a big, black t shirt and what looked like some sort of improvised kilt. His legs were incredibly skinny, but smooth-looking, not bug-like at all. Next to him stood Red and she wanted to smile. He looked great. Not much different than how she remembered him. He wore NO shirt, which was kind of odd, and a pair of long black pants. His chest wasn't rounded like his biomech suit's chest was, but it was wider than his waist, which was very very thin. People were staring, and a few girls were muttering and eyeing him with interest. Irkens had no nipples or belly buttons. It did look a bit wierd.

"Everyone ready for a killer halloween?" she asked through the mic. There were cheers and grunts and howls from the crowd. The pub was only built to hold 500 people; it was full capacity. About half of them were visibly Irken.

She waved to the Tallest and Red's jaw dropped.

It was HER.

He hadn't recognized her at first; he'd just thought she was an Irken soldier helping out on the stage, but it was Mona. He knew her voice. Her eyes were Irken, completely colored that beautiful light clear blue and she had long, attractive antennae poking out through the back of her hair. She was barefoot and bare-legged, wearing only a simple dress colored all sorts of sparkly see-through-ie stuff. Kind f like a human fairy creature.

He realized what his problem had been all along at seeing her again. He was in love.

Him! The Almighty Tallest Red... in love with an alien! How was it possible? What was it about her that attracted him? Her authority? Her compassion? Her disdain for her own species? Or was it something else? Something... more emotional? Damn it... he didn't know.

But the perverted human was right; she DID look nice in that dress. It was a good costume. She'd even painted her skin green, although her legs and arms didn't match.

He cheered along with everyone else, to show the Irkens under his command to follow along. There were more than a few civilian Irkens borrowed from Irk's surface as well as military types. Earth would be a vacation planet for everyone.

And planetarial domination was already commencing. Even as they all c heered for Mona and her band, outside, in the night, while children went door to door, Irken troops, inquisitors and assasins were killing left right and center.

By midnight tonight, on Earth, half the population would be dead. And Earth would not be able to resist. It would belong to the Irken empire henceforth, and the only humans to be spared would be the ones Mona had given him in their first meeting. Her friends and brother.

"Hey! Isn't that that insane SIR unit we gave Zim at the beginnign of Operation Impending Doom 2?" Purple asked him sharply, nudging him in the bare ribs. He pointed with one of his two fingers at the little robot on stage, dressed in a tiny black cape and wearing an assortment of magnets that made him look to be wearing a suit. He opened his mouth wide and they both saw white triangle, shaped magnets in his mouth, resembling fangs.

"I GONNA BE ON DA KEEEEEEYS! I LIKE CHEESE!" he screeched into his own little microphone. Several girls in the crowd "awwwwww"'d at the demented robot.

"Yeah, that's Zim's SIR unit. I told Invader Tenn to have her hand it over to us so we could finally disasemble the thing and put it back in the garbage where we got it, but it looks like Mona likes him," he replied.

"Dudes, what the hell are you?" demanded one young human teenager. He was looking at them like they were dirt under his shoes.

He was looking, in particular, at Red's bare green chest. He should have worn a shirt!

Thinking fast, Red bent down and snagged the boy's white t shirt in his claw-like fingers, stripping it from him. It was a good thing the shirt was extra long, so it fit him nicely.

"Hey!!"

"Good one," said Purple, patting him on the back.

"Thanks," he said, smiling. He waved the boy away.

Up on stage, Mona began to play her guitar. It was black and shaped all spiky, with the head of it shaped a lot like one of the Irken Slavedriver's electric shock prods. He could make out the words B.C. Rich on it. Across the bottom, it said "warlock".

She seemed to really love it, because she was tuning it herself.

The lights changed, from green to red, making everything up on stage smoky and hazy. Mona's hair went from plain dark brown to streaked with neon red. Her crystal-blue eyes looked hellish and she thrust her upper body forward and began to scream.

The stage exploded with sound and Red's antennae cringed in annoyance. It was so loud!

The humans seemed to like it, though. They were jumping and thrashing their hair around and screaming along with the words. Apparently, Mona played here a lot and these humans had heard it all before.

"THIS IS INSANE!!" Purple had to scream to be heard over the music.

"I KNOW!! JUST GO ALONG WITH IT!! Red screamed back. Purple's face broke out into a grin. He was always looking for an excuse to drop everything and party.

For once, Red was willing to join him.

He jumped up and down with the rest of them, ignoring the protest of his leg muscles, which he rarely used any more, due to hovering everywhere. In time, the Irkens learned to jump with the rythym of the music, and after a fashion, Red began to decipher a beat and a rythym and decided that Mona's music, however loud and cacophonous, was worth listening to.

Up on stage, they switched songs. Mona stomped on a pedal on the floor, the skirts of her simple dress flying, and the sound of her guitar changed, as did the expression on her face. She went from screaming angrily to smiling prettily. To heck with smiling, she was grinning... something like a manic glint in her all-over blue eyes.

The sound coming from her guitar was... beautiful. Like pipes, but much more appealing to his hearing. She began to dance in time with the music, her hips swaying, her body serpentine as she and her friends had fun on stage. She danced like the waves of Irk's only ocean, beautifully and... dare he even THINK it. Sexily?

Purple stood staring, too, both of them being pushed around and jostled by the crowd, but neither of them cared. They heard the music and saw her dancing, her friend's hair flying everywhere, the one called Joanna, singing, her voice breathy and girlish, and then Mona started singing along with her, and her voice was much deeper, huskier.

She stopped dancing so much and let her friends have some limelight, but her gaze never left Red's.

What was she thinking?

They finished that song and started in on a new one, and in the middle of it, Mona pointed up to a spot on the wall behind them all, human and Irken. Nearly everyone turned to look. Smoke billowed off the stage and laser lights started dancing, and this time, it was he who cheered. He LOVED lasers!!

"Yaaaaaaah, LASERS!!"

Mona laughed into her microphone, and shouted , "Two minutes till midnight, everyone!! You know what that means!"

From somewhere outside, Red heard screaming and lasers being fired.

"What does that mean??" Purple shouted back.

Mona and Joanna laughed together this time, neither one faltering in their music.

"TAKE OFF YOUR MASKS!" they both screamed gleefully. Joanna's light brown eyes flashed green in the dancing lasers from backstage and the drummer, whoever he was, stood up and screamed something unintelligible.

Take off their masks? He wasn't wearing one! Had she intended to expose them all as aliens? At the very height of their planet domination?

It was fine by him. He'd been seen by humans without a disguise before, after all.

Even as every Irken, both military and civilian, danced and jumped along with the humans, Red kept an eye on the clock.

The moving hand struck twelve. All around them, humans were taking off headbands with bobby thingies on top, masks, rubbing off makeup, pulling out false teeth. Up on stage, the music had stopped momentarily, though the lasers persisted, cutting through the smoke. Joanna removed her plastic fangs, GIR shook off all his magnets, tossing them into the crowd. He hit one girl in the eye and she ran around screaming.

The Irkens, of course, didn't get this custom, but up on stage, Mona was rubbing the green off of her face, revealing the plae flesh underneath, rubbing her eyes theatrically. As Joanna made a screaming sound with her guitar, Mona reached her hands up, combing her hair with her fingers like a person who is very stressed, grabbed her antennae and pulled them down in exhasperation. They did not come off.

She wasn't wearing a disguise.

She stared at Red and dared him to make a sound.

"... Your disguise... was... is that a disguise?" asked Purple.

Without removing her gaze from Red's, she answered him.

"You know it's not."

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PLEASE REVIEW!! 


	16. OCAVP first stage, love blooms

I'm jumping right into it here. Sorry for the delay, but my access to the computer was, regrettably, barred. I WANNA RIP HIS FACE OFF!!

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It was after the show and they were all crowded in her back yard. It was fenced in, but they could all still see the various explosions and hear people screaming in the streets.

She tried her best to ignore it.

She had Micah and GIR bring out drinks (anything with the least ammount of water, apparently, it was harmful to them) and all 250 Irkens were happily slurping on Irken licky sticks and drinking 100 percent pure mixed juice. They seemed to like it.

The Tallest stood up on a stack of milk crates she'd erected at their request and called for attention. Against the background of cacophonous screams and numerous explosions, they all payed attention. Earth was being concquered while they were all on it. It was indeed a first.

Red put one two-fingered hand on Mona's shoulder and cleared his throat. His touch was like firm cloth. His skin was very smooth but his fingers were bony. It was warm.

"Thanks to our friend, here, Earth is now property of the Irken Empire, just the latest in Operation Impending Doom 2!! We've decided to turn it into a VACATION PLANET!!" he announced. The crowd cheered and a few whom she recognized from a year ago aboard the Massive catcalled her name.

She felt herself blush and forced herself not to look too pleased with herself. Earth was a beautiful place, a planet of extremes and splendor; the humans were just mucking it up.

"You in the audience have been chosen to just sit and watch. Invader Tenn is the one responsible for bringing the planet's defenses down, so let's give it up for TENN and MONAAAA!!" PUrple yelled, and again, the crowd cheered happily.

On Purple's other side, where she herself stood beside Red, there stood an Irken with hot pink eyes and long eyelashes. Her antennae weren't very curly. She smiled and cheered with the rest of them. Beside her stood the creepy SIR unit from before.

GIR walked up to stand beside her and she looked down happily at the little robot. He stared back up at her, opened his mouth wide in a stupid grin and made a meowing noise.

"You can keep him if you want," she jumped and spun around at the voice. He whispered it out of the corner ofhis mouth so no one would hear but uinfortunately had to bend down to do so. When she turned around in surprise, they were face to face. She cried out and fell backwards, landing on her butt. The crowd started laughing and after awhile, she joined in. It must have looked funny.

GIR lended her a hand (actually, he picked her up and flew skywards with his jets to right her) and She smiled gratefully. She would be happy to "keep him" as Red said. She fingered the necklace he'd given her a year ago as he spoke next. The pendant was under her shirt.

"NOW!! LET THE CONVERSION BEGIN!"

One of the black uniformed Irkens standing behind the Tallest that she hadn't noticed before aimed guns at the fenced in yard and shot it down.

"Hey!" she cried, outraged at this damage of her fence. It'd taken her and her brother a week to finish putting it up!

Her anger was shortlived, once she saw the carnage outside its confines.

Destruction was nice.

Buildings were being shot down by Irken soldiers and there were more Elite than ever before. She thought she recognized the one from a year ago, aboard the Massive.

In the skies, Irken ships flew, shooting lasers at people and tearing up the paved roads. Everywhere she looked there was carnage. Even as she watched an old man and threeyoung teenagers try to get away, they were incinerated by another laser. SWEET.

"This never gets old," said Purple fondly, munching on popcorn-looking snacks he'd gotten from his PAK.

"You can say that again," agreed Red, and he sipped his juice.

They all watched the Irken military destroy the entire city by force. Buildings burned, people were masacred, others were tossed brutally into cages hanging from larger ships. These captured ones cried and pleaded, but heavily'dressed Irkens armed with prod sticks simply tasered these, and soon all they did was whimper. Mona didn't feel at all sorry for these people. The Irkens could kill off a third of the human population and in a few short years, they would have breeded back to full capacity. All the teen pregnancies and the religious fanatics and the shoddy birth control did no good. They would probably fix the breeding problem, too.

Fromn the sky, The Massive descended in all its big, red glory. The Tallest yelled and cheered and from their PAKs came long tubes that covered their eyes and mouths like a gas mask. Lookng behind her, the Irkens in the crowd did the same. Everywhere she looked, masks were coming from PAKs and she wondered if she should get one out, too.

"Here," said a voice from behind her. She looked. It was Tenn wearing a mask as well. The tubes came from the dots in her PAK and covered her mouth and eyes. She was handing an extra one to her.

"Thanks," she said awkwardly. She had Tenn help her put it on and she watched with the rest of the crowd.

As The Massive descended, the bridge glowed bright red. Was it more lasers?

"Don't worry, your house, the club and a few SELECT fooderies are safe," assured Purple, and then the city exploded.

A flash of bright red light shot from the Irkens Military ship The Massive and the entire town literally went up in smoke, disintegrating in a matter of seconds, reducing what was once a thriving city into a bare dirt lot. She could see for MILES. Humans lay dead or worse here and there, where they hadn't been incinerated by lasers and the Irkens had been protected by some sort of force fieldy thing. The masks were good, too, because there was a lot of smoke.

They all cheered happily while the humans in the cages wept. She was pleased to see the Irkens knew what they were doing after all. Most of the humans they'd taken captive were either very young adults or children. The younger they were, the easier it was to change their ways of life, to turn them into obedient workers who would never question Irken authority.

She helped do this. HER. Mona Marshalls. She helped get rid of countless worthless lives and pointless human junk. She had helped bring about the downfall of her own species. And what was surprising was, she felt nothing. No mercy. No pity. No empathy. No anything. Just... life as usual. Life was pain, she thought, hoping the souls of the dead would somehow hear her. Anyone trying to tell you otherwise was either daft or trying to sell more useless crap.

"METAL," she said quietly.

It broke the silence, at least. Red, Purple and the rest of the crowd cheered as more Irken ships came down below cloud level and began clearing the debris away. It was all picked up in an easy four or five seconds with tractor beams and thrown mercilessly into huge garbage ships, to be sent to some other planet. Maybe this "Planet Dirt" that she had heard mention of before.

"Thanks for the planet," said Tenn from behind her.

"Don't mention it. Just make sure there are enough humans working in food and environmental institutions. Alaska's got a lot of endangered animals... and stuff... lots... of animals..." she was getting dizzy. She quickly righted herself again, but this dizzy spell was bad. The world tilted and in her mind she knew who had done this to her. The mutations, the blindness, the pain... Rome. It had to be.

She turned and was not surprised to see him standing right there, staring at her. He looked sad.

"What'sa matter? Surprised to see me?" she said. Her voice sounded slurred, like she was drunk and her tongue was somehow too big. Her vision swayed again, and now there were three Romes standing there.

"No. Just disappointed. You didn't turn out how I hoped you would. That DNA was supposed to make you sick, kill you," he said sadly.

She regained her vision once more, and ignoring her queasy stomach and aching head, she got angry. Thsi was all HIS fault. HE mutated her. HE had hated her ever since the incident a year ago with the FBI. It was all HIM. She would show HIM the meaning of pain.

She surprised the hell out of Red when, simple fairy dress and all, she charged at Rome with a bloodthirsty scream. She tackled him to the ground and began pummeling every inch of him she could reach. Very soon, her fist was covered in green blood. Rome was screaming for her to stop, but she refused. With every time she hit him, they could all make out what she was saying.

"This - Is - YOUR - Fault! I - used - to - be - HUMAN! But - YOU - had - to - fuck - it all. - UP! WHAT AM I!! HUH? WHAT AM I NOW, ROME, HUH?"

she hit him once final time before the guards who usually took care of he and Purple managed to pull her off of the scientist. It took all four of them. She fought harder than he'd ever seen anyone fight, "like a cat on crack" as he'd heard one human say once.

Despite her delicate looking porcelain skin and her delicate frame as compared to a human male, she could fight. Looks were deceiving. As she'd fought, the necklace he;d given her popped out from beneath her dress and he was momentarily surprised she'd kept it.

"Hey! What's that around her neck?" asked Purple, narrowing his eyes to make it out. Mona was still glaring daggers at the heavily beaten Rome, but she was still so he could read the name on the back of the Elite pendant.

" "Meckle" ? Red, you gave her your Elite necklace??" Purple demanded quietly, his voice awed, his expression surprised.

But Red wasn't listening to him. Her words kept repeating in his head, like a mantra. What am I now, Rome, huh? WHAT AM I.

It was a decent question. What was she? Human? Irken?

He took her by the upper arm and wasn't surprised to see he could wrap both his fingers around it. Her skin was cold and clammy, but warm. Was she still mutating, then?

He took her aside and talked quietly so only he, Mona and Purple could hear.

"This whole... mutation thing is Rome's fault? How??" he demanded.

Mona lifted the edge of her skirt to reveal a bright red-purple spot of discolored skin, shaped vaguely like a heart. The edges of ti were turning a pale sickly green color.

He recognized that mark in a moment. How had he missed it before?! They'd taught ALL Irken Elites about the DNA tack technology in the academy for hardened soldiers!

The Massive landed right beside Mona's house, fluttering the trees around the place. Several brightly colored leaves fell to the ground, and with the ugly human city gone, they could all see just how beautiful the place was.

The leaves on all the trees blended to make one big orange,yellow,red,pink explosion of color and the sky was a crystaline blue.

"He used a DNA tack?? how?? Those things are illegal unless you work in a smeetery," exclaimed Purple. He'd recognized it, too.

"Excuse me, but what THE HELL is a smeetery?" Mona asked, not angrily.

"Irken DNA is kept stored in genetic libraries for breeding and cloning purposes, Mona. Irken babies are called smeets, that's pretty straightforward," he explained.

"Oh."

Purple looked back and glared at the fallen scientist. He wasn't being helped up, he was glad to see. Most of the Irkens in the crowd were staring at him with stony expressions on their faces. He made it to a sitting position, the dots on his PAK flashing a red color. It wasn't a good sign.

Mona had literally beaten him to within almost an inch of his very life. His eyes were both swollen and dark green, his left eye completely shut by mucous and blood. His lips were both split, drooling green blood and his entire shirt was stained in it. One of his antennae had been torn off by force and lay on the ground beside him, twitching. He finally managed to get to his feet.

" 'Scuse me a minute," said Mona quietly, and before anyonecould stop her, although he tried to catch her by the arm, she walked over to the abused scientist, called him an "asshole", whatever that meant, and punched him one last time. This time, he stayed down, groaning. He spat out a few teeth in the process.

She stood over him, glaring for a few seconds, but her eyes began to loose their expression. She blinked rapidly, and shook her head as if trying to stay standing. Her knees buckled and gave out and she collapsed to the ground, her hair spilling out once more like so much silken dirt, her antennae getting filth on them.

"Mona!" he heard himself cry, as if from afar. He didn't necessarily love her, per say, YET, but he WAS IN LOVE with her... somehow the two weren't really quite the same thing.

Nevertheless, he wasn't the only one. A few of the civilians from the crowd, Purple, Tenn and Mona's SIR unit, GIR, all crowded around. GIR looked sad.

"Master! What happened? Don't be sad, master, the bad guy all kerflooey!" he insisted. He shook his "master" but she didn't move much. The broken robot began to cry. Loudly.

"What's wrong with her, is she okay?"

"What happened?

"What is she?"

"Hey! Hey kid, wake up!"

The crowd was trying to get her to move, but to no avail. She simply made a pained expression on her face and groaned. One of her fingers was twitching. He noticed for the first time that there was a ring on one finger, silver set with a blue stone. Some kind of memorobelia, anyway.

"Everybody, stand back! Let her breathe!" demanded Red.

He bent down, feeling his knees his grass and dirt through the material of the pants he wore. No one had changed into standard Irken attire yet, which meant he still wore human clothes. His muscles were getting used to moving again.

He rolled her over, so she lay on her back, both legs bent gracefully to the side, her arms splayed and outstretched, her hair over her face. He moved it aside with one careless swipe, trying not to pay attention to how cool or soft it felt.

Even as they all watched, her lips went pale, like a chameleon, and turned a bruised-looking blue-green color. Her antennae got longer, pushing out of her head. All od a sudden, she snapped her eyes open, all the way open and he was surprised to see that there were no more whites around the edges. Liek the cat she'd rescued from the Massive before (which, incidentall, still resided here) her eyes before at the concert had been all- blue but with a little white behind the eyeball. Now, that white was gone. Her eyes were all Irken now.

She gave a soft kind of scream and struggled to get up, but something told him to hold her on the ground for a moment. It was a good thing, too, because a few seconds later, she screamed for real and clutched at her hands.

Her fingers were elongating, the bones nsapping and popping, the knuckles cracking. As they watched, her fingers went from about 2 and 3 inches long to about 4 or 5 a piece.

They stopped growing and shifting. The crowd had pulled back when she screamed, and Red now saw it was because they were afraid.

He wouldn't be afraid. For the first time since Zim had taken control of The Massive and steered them into asteroids, he felt like he had to be a leader. He put one hand behind her head and told Purple to help him. With both their help, they got her into a sitting position, her legs folded under her. She was very limp, however, and as soon as she could sit, her head and shoulders drooped and her hair fell in her face.

Her antennae were now so long that the curls at the end nearly touched her back. They were still held out straight like any normal Irken's, except they were just ridiculously long. They were also incredibly curly. They bobbed and brushed against his face as she moved her head.

Ignoring it, he helped her brother pull her long hair out of her face, and his brother produced what looked like a primitive elastic. It held the hair back but it also accentuated her new, longer antennae.

Her eyes, while entirely Irken now, were unfocused and blank, empty.

A nearby medi Irken came by and pressed a finger to her neck. Red could see her veins pulsing there becauyse her skin was so thin, so he corrected the Irken's fingers.

"Pulse is normal for a warm blood creature," said the Medi Irken. He placed a gentle hand on her belly.

"Her insides feel fine. Well, at least the same as they did a few months ago, anyway," he continued. He moved his hands down and at that moment, he took his hand away just in time, because Mona's belly caved in and she threw up. It was bright yellow-green. It also made him want to throw up too.

"Oh, GROSS!" exclaimed his fellow Tallest.

Her brother Micah got his strong, thick arms underneath hers and he heaved her entire body into a standing position, forcing her to her feet. She stood, her face flushed pink and white, her mouth open, her lips still that teal blue-green color. They were slowly fading back to their normal pink, however. Her eyes were beginning to take on more life and by the light shining off of them, he saw her look at him.

"I think I know what this necklace says on the back of it, now... ow... my head hurts... your name isn't red, is it?"

Her voice was softer now and all anger was gone. No one cared what had happened to Rome. He was as good as dead now anyway, what with stealing DNA technology and using it on a human, so no one cared.

"Um... no. It's Meckle," he said, faintly embarassed. He didn't much like his name and not many remembered it. Everyone knew him as Red and he didn't mind.

She smiled and wiped vomit off her face. She seemed to recover herself after a moment and excused herself to go and change out of her soiled dress.

Purple cornered him as soon as the chaos died down.

"Give it up, Red," he insisted.

"Give what up??" he demanded.

"You're in love with her!" he hissed so no one would hear.

Red urged him to keep his voice down. If anyone found out he was in love with ANYONE, no less a half alien, he was as good as condemned. Military types weren't encouraged to get into relationships. In fact, it was pretty much not allowed. The civilian types sometimes did, but nothing ever became of it. Unauthorized normal breeding was definitely not allowed.

"So ... so what?" he demanded. In all honesty, he had no idea "so what". He had all but admitted he wwas in love with Mona, but then, it was the first time he'd been in love with ANYONE.

Purple put his head in his hands and closed his eyes as if mortally wounded.

"This is bad, Red, what if the control brains find out, huh? You'll be stripped of rank and Mona'll probably be killed!" Purple reminded him.

"I know!!" he snapped.

"Look, we'll talk about this later!" he added. Behind him, he saw Mona make her way down the steps of her back porch. She wore dark clothing like before and she looked much more comfortable. Purple and black striped stockings covered her forearms.She'd also fixed her hair so it was neater.

Her clothes were simple, but his resolve was settled with the halloween concert. Earth was as good as conquered. OID2 was going according to plan. Being Tallest was still neat.

And he was in love with a human Irken hybrid. But physically BEING in love made him... happy. He couldn't explain it. Just the sight of her, the way she moved. It wasn't Irken, not by a long shot, but still seductively attractive.

"Ah, I'll cover for ya as long as I can, but NO promises!" Purple finally gave in at seeing his co-tallest's eyes.

That was alright by him.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! I gotta go now cause it's raining!! 


	17. Kisses and promotions

Sorry for the delay, but there's another password on this stupid thing and I can't get on till evening.

Now that Purple knows his co-tallest is in love and Red KNOWS he's in love, he's ready to consider admitting it to her... And Mona is in for a surprise, hehehe.

All my illustrations can be found on deviantart. My penname is SaoirseRanekaera!

PLEASE REVIEW!

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It turned out Mona was just suffering from what the Massive's bioscanner claimed was to be her last mutation. She now resembled a slim but curvy, healthy Irken with pale human skin, human hair, fingernails and mannerisms. She still hadn't shown signs of biological decomposition, signifying that she would need a PAK. Otherwise, she was still the same old Mona.

Temperament and all.

As soon as his official Tallest duty concerning the public face of Operation Impending Doom 2 and Operation Create A Vacation Planet were over with, for the time being, he made it a point to take the alien hybrid aside. As he did so, he realized she was becoming less and less alien to him. She stared up at him with her new, Irken eyes, still the same silvery pale sky-blue, and he got the urge to do something no military Irken of his rank would ever dream of doing.

He put his hands on her upper arms, picked her up so he didn't have to bend down, and pressed his lips to hers in a simple, drawn out kiss. Her lips were warm and full and soft and in those few seconds, nothing else existed. He had never felt quite like this before. As if he were floating again, even without the hover belts of his Tallest uniform. He felt somethign slightly wet on his lower lip that could only be her tongue and he pulled away. From the footage of Earth before they started annihilating it, he knew that was how a lot of humans kissed; with their tongues. Some Irkens did it, too, but it didn't really appeal to him.

He realized her muscles beneath his hands were tensed so he set her back on her feet and looked down at her. She was smiling slightly. Irk, she was beautiful with her new Irken attributes. It came at a high cost. Losing her humanity and her species was hard. She had lost EVERYTHING. Her species. Her planet, or at least the human parts of it, anyway. And now her very identity in the universe.

She seemed to know what he was thinking, because she frowned.

"I don't know how to refer to myself anymore, y'know? Maybe Irkan? Huken?" (hyew-kin)

They caught each other's eye and began snorting laughter. Huken?? It sounded ridiculous!

"It sounds... like some kinda... disease!!" she giggled.

Red shrieked with his own laughter, putting his face in one hand as they laughed. Huken, hahaha!!

"Sounds like something... someone would say when throwing up!!" he said very fast, and at this point, all intelligble words were lost in laughter.

Eventually they stopped laughing and Mona wiped a teear from one eye. He wondered if humans could cry, or if it was an Irken trait she had picked up.

"Aaahhhhhh, that was good. Seriously, though. I think Irkan sounds better," he said finally, wiping a tear of laughter from his own eye.

"Yeah... Not Irken, not human. Irkan. No one'll know what on earth I'm talking about, will they?" she asked.

"Probably not," he replied.

At that moment, one of the communications officers came into the house. Red and Mona were sitting at her kitchen table eating Irken cookies and drinking cow milk (which had a wierd undertaste but wasn't bad cold). The house was undamaged from the Irken military and there were Irkens in and out almost all the time. Today, however, was relatively quiet.

It had been three days since the first act of torching the human's city to the ground. New Irken structures had already been constructed and more were being built further away to hold the humans left alive who were meant for tour guiding. Most of the males had already been sterilized to control breeding. Human DNA from both males and females had been stored in an enormous computer database that would be the first control brain on planet Earth.

The skies were already thick with Irken ships and the humans from the rest of the planet were being "dealt with" as the days progressed.

The communications officer had come from The Massive (they could see it behind him out the open door) and he saluted to Red before stating his case.

"My Tallest, sir! Control Brain E1 would like to have a word with Mona."

The control brain had been named EI, E for Earth and 1 for it being the first one on the planet. Red wondered what it could want with Mona so soon.

The control brain in question had actually been taken from Irk itself and renamed E1 because every planet conquered had at least ne major CB for short. Irk had hundreds.

Red agreed to take Mona on a tour of what was to be one of the only major new Irken cities for humans.

Today she wore a frilly black skirt that reached her knees and a baggy black t shirt. Her feet were bare again and Red noticed for the first time that she had some sort of marking on one of her ankles. He hadn't noticed it at first because it was inside her ankle and out of plain sight. Her antennae were now in plain sight all the time. She didn't wear her disguise anymore.

Outside, the sky was a clear, cloudless blue and the wind was blowing as normal on Earth. Everywhere he looked, the leaves were falling off the trees, turning the very ground they walked on into a haven of crunchy, multicolored leaves, like fallen fire. It was really quite beautiful.

The buildings that had already been erected were hotels for Irkens and other aliens who would eventually stay here while on vacation. Seperate housing for the human service drones were being constructed far away on the other side of the "town". The dirt had already begun growing grass once again. Nature was quickly fixing any scarring caused by its inconsiderate inhabitants.

"The control brain is in this building here," he said, pointing to a long, low building. It was mostly a medium shade of purple, with rounded edges and gray tubing around the foundations. Thick metal wires were snaked into the ground for electricity and all the buildings were hooked up to enormous energy generators.

He entered the building with her. The Tallest were usually present when someone was summoned to a control brain specifically.

Sure enough, in the main room, the control room, Tallest Purple stoof to one side, munching on nachos and waiting for them.

"Hey," he greeted them. Mona waved back, but Red could see she was slightly nervous.

The control brain was a huge rounded structure with multiple "eyes" and a body made entirely of metal tubing and wiring. There were three platforms, surrounded by a railing. A low-slung catwalk wound its way around the top of the room, to allow for repairs and maintennance.

The control brains "eyes" glowed a constant dark red color.

"Alien human Mona Marshalls. For handing over your own planet to the Irken Empire, your acts against your own species on our last visit to this place, and because of the illegal mutation of your human body, you have been placed," said the control brain. Its voice was deeply computerized.

Placed? As in, placed in Irken society? She might be capable of doing good in the Irken military, but Red knew for a fact she was more rebellious than forceful. She would get in trouble.

"With all due respect, E1, maybe you should properly evaluate her, just to be sure," he cut in, trying to sound nonchalant.

A long robotic arm came out of the darkness and placed a sort of helmet over her head. It pushed her antennae down and it touched her back and thrust the curled ends level with her arms. She looked up at it, frowning slightly. This was all new for her.

The control brain began to hum and the helmet hummed with it. Mona's eyes widened in surprise. It was sifting through her very personality, her likes and dislikes, her judgements and past responsabilities, even evaluating her gender and biology.

The control brain removed the helmet and seemed to be thinking.

"My decision has been withdrawn. You have been placed," it repeated, and without warning, two metal pods came at her from either side of the room, out of the gloom. The room was very dimly lit and for the first time, Red wondered if the element of surprise was the reason.

Mona had the time to see she was being attacked. Her eeys widened and her posture stiffened.

"Wait, what the-?!"

The metal pods clamped closed around her and a bright light shone through the cracks.

"Why does it hurt?!" she screamed.

The pods went back into the darkness and Mona stood there, fully dressed in an Irken uniform. Her old clothes lay on the floor.

Red's and Purple's jaws dropped. Long shirt with tail, the markings, the extra shoulder pieces...

She was dressed as an Irken Elite Commander.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! I'd write more but I can't keep my eyes open. 


	18. First assignment and sex talk

hey, told you Mona wouldn't be some ordinary Irken soldier... lol she's been promoted straight from nothing into an Elite Commander, lol.

And she isn't going to like her first assignment, hahahaha. She does learn a lot about Irken reproduction, though, :

The concept of spore reproduction was borrowed from two people from deviantart, so the idea is not mine. Credit for the Spore reproduction idea goes equally to Sanoon and Half-Dude.

I have also taken liberties with two old friends, namely, Dawn and Pete. No, those are not their real names, or then again, maybe they are... you'll never know. it's their business since I don't have permission, so annonymous is best. BIG SHOUTOUT TO THEM BOTH, LOVE YOU GUYS!! Over the years, watching me grow from an anti social teenager who growled at people to a young woman who still growled at people, I always imagined what their reactions would be if I DID destroy the world, lol.

Invader zim (C) viacom

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The news that Mona, the human-Irken hybrid, had been directly promoted by the control brain itself to Elite Commander spread like wildfire through the various ranks of the Irken Armada. Some thought she would be well suited to the task, after hearing about or seeing her attempt to fend them from her own people. Others thought she was unfit to even be considered a service drone because she wasn't technically Irken at all. There were also some who refused to take sides and remained neutral.

Red couldn't get over his initial shock. First, at seeing her in an Elite uniform of any sort, no nevermind an Elite commander's uniform. Second, her reaction to it. She had looked as shocked as he and Purple had been, picking at her new clothes and frowning at them. Now, it seemed, she was over it.

The uniform, for the most part, was any shade of blue. Elite commanders got to choose the color of their uniform; since she had been clothed by the control brain, it had simply matched hers to her eye color.

The main body of it was a cold, ice blue, while the insides of it were a darker, midnight blue color. The sleeves, which only covered her shoulders much like their own shoulder pieces, were a shade of blue in between, while the bands across the wrist guards she wore were a basic blue. Her power boots were the same color as her eyes. She still had no PAK, so she had been given a different identification number: M19-1h. It stood for Mona, age 19, first PAKless Irken, Hybrid.

She flung her long hair back over her shoulder, accidentally getting it snagged on a passing wall. It jerked her head back on her neck and she cried out.

"Ow! Dammit!" she hissed.

"Hang on," said Red, and as gently as he could (he wasn'tsure if humans could feel their hair or if it was nerve-less) he untangled it. It had gotten caught on a loose edge of an air duct. It felt very warm to the touch and very smooth and soft. Silky-feeling.

Distantly, he wondered what he'd have her do as her first assignment. First assignment for Elite Commanders were usually dangerous, because one didn't become and Elite at all without experience. Mona had none. So her first assignment would have to be slightly less endangering. Maybe help the Medi Irkens begin monitoring the breeding human population? It was tame and not at all in the same range of a typical Elite Commander's duties but it would teach her a lot about the Irken race; she was bound to ask quetions when forced to answer their own regarding humans.

That was where he would send her, then; to what would soon be a sort of human smeetery and nursery combination learning center.

Purple veered off, presumably in the direction of The Massive and Red stopped Mona from going further. She looked up at him with wide, curious eyes. The blue uniform really suited her.

He put one hand on her shoulder and pointed to what was almost a complete building; all that was missing was the roof and the Irken flag out front. The building was long and low, made of some purple stuff with dark red piping.

"Over there is your first assignment, just ask and they'll let you kniow. Oh, and as Irken Elite commander, you have the authority to boss people around," he added.

She smiled, a mischiveous glint in her eyes.

"Boss people around, huh? Sounds fun," she said. Her smile turned into an evil grin that kind of scared him. It was also contagious, so he smiled with her. Authority WAS fun...

"Oh, and if anyone asks you to monitor something, say no," he added quickly, and without another word, he glided off. Better to let her find out on her own.

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She made her way overto the building he'd indicated. The weather was getting colder as November wore on and she could feel the wind biting through the thin black leggings she now wore. The boots round her feet were clunky but not very heavy. She didn't like them. The power bands around her lower arms constricted movement of her wrists, too; she struggled with them for awhile until she found a small panel that flipped open. She pushed the most inconspicuous looking one and the wrist guards popped open, freeing her arms.

She could feel the cold mostly in her new antennae; they were a lot more sensitive than any other part of her body except her hands and fingers. She could even hear things, in a stange sort of way. It was more like vibrations, like the sound/feeling you get when some punk-ass thug who drives past and his bass is so loud it makes the windows vibrate./ It was sort of like that.

When she brushed them up against something, she got a sense of where in relation to her head it was. It was strange, but she did not mind it.

She walked through the door of the building and was not surprised to see cages lining both walls. In those cages were humans, what remained of the townsfolk in the now-leveled city. Teenagers, young adults, children, adults in their mid to late 20's, early thirties. Not a one was older looking than 40. Mixed in were all sorts of ethnicities; asian american, african american, latio, white, hispanic and mixed.

The Medi Irkens all looked up at her approach and upon seeing her uniform, saluted. It was an odd feeling, but she didn't mind it. It kind of made her feel... powerful. Mixed in with the medi Irkens' light blue robes were Irkens slightly taller than them who wore short, lightweight darker colored robes; the females wore pink and red, the males, dark green and blue. There were smiley faces on the bottom hem of all their robes and they wore black leggings similar to hers.

In between the lines of cages were all sorts of computer terminals and giant test tube tanks. There was a door labeled in Irken and a warning sign accompanied it; from behind it she thought she could hear a mechanical humming sound. Another Irken emerged from said door and quickly closed it again.

From the cages, the humans saw her and pleaded with her. She didn't know if those who knew her recognized her and she forced herself not to commit their faces to memory. No use making more friends of the humans.

Set at the forefront of the room was a small group of humans all grouped together with another Irken facing them. He wore a heavy lab coat covered in buckles and snaps and held a menacing looking electrical prod stick. She guessed he was one of the many slavedrivers. She wondered if she had the authority to boss him around...

"I can take them from here, soldier," she told him. He nodded, saluted and walked out of the building. AWESOME. Authority was NICE.

She knew the humans huddled there, of course. The ones she'd asked to be spared. Dawn Thistle, in particular, looked confused and a little upset. Her long-time friend Peter looked angry and nonchalant all at the same time, a feat which was interesting to look at. Beside him stood her brother, looking at her, confused and a little sad. Joanna was watching the humans in the cages with a disjointed interest; she was bored, not interested.

Nick Magee, more commonly known as Azaria was staring at Mona as if he'd never seen her before, when, in fact, he'd been at the Hallwoeen show and known it was her. Mona was slightly sad to see that of these, her friends, a lot of them looked as if she was now a stranger to them. In betraying her species and helping bring about the downfall of Earth, had she unwittingly sacrificed the love of her only friends?

"Mona?" said Nick softly, squinting to see her more clearly.

"It's me alright. Well, what do you think?" she asked.

There was silence. Even her only other relative she had decided to spare, her uncle Hank, was looking at her strangely.

"What do we THINK?" repeated Dawn incredulously. Mona could tell by the small disbelieving smile on her face that she was mortified. Her long, straight brown hair had, for some reason, been lobbed off crudely so it now only reached below her jaw. The look didn't suit her.

"This whole thing is... it's WRONG," she continued, looking at everyone in cages. "It's not right, these people are HUMAN, Mona, not animals," she continujed softly. Mona was heartbroken to see there were unshed tears in her eyes. She had made a mistake. In saving the only people she cared anything for, she had condemned those that THEY cared for. She had hurt them. That was why they were angry. Maybe the range of human emotion was more complex than she'd thought at first.

No. She had made this decision, to help the Irkens. They were making the planet BETTER, eradicating everything that was WRONG with the place. She had to stick be her decision.

"I... I'm sorry, you guys, but we're ALL animals. We're all ALIVE. We were overrunning this planet and it was destroying the place. EVERYTHING was corrupt, Dawn, you yourself once said you wished you would live to see Wal Mart burned to the ground!" she protested. She pointed outside, to the empty, scorched lot where the place once stood.

"It's GONE!" she finished.

Peter snorted laughter through his large, pointy nose, which was an integral part of his expressions and personality.

"Yeah, WAL MART is gone, but so's half the human population!" he argued.

Nick Magee hadn't said anything since saying her name. He kept looking from cage to cage, face to tear-streaked face. Mona could tell Joanna was probably her only friend in this.

"Why would you do this?" asked Dawn. Mona couldn't bring herself to look into the woman's dark hazel eyes. She felt horrible. Her only friend's pain, hich she had overlooked at first, did what witnissing the destruction of the city and so many lives hadn't; it made her feel.

She didn't like feeling. She especially didn't like feeling this horrible, hot bubbling guilt. It hurt her stomach and made her heart ache. She wished she had thought about her friend's loved ones instead of just her own needs. She had to do something... but what?

"I spared all of you. You won't be enslaved or killed and you can do whatever you want to, here on Earth or on Planet Irk," she said.

"I'm with you wherever you go, mate," said Joanna brightly. The two friends smiled at each other and Mona swallowed her tears and put an arm around Jo's shoulder.

"Nick?" asked Mona gently.

The dark-haired man dug one worn sneaker into the concrete floor and refused to look at her. His rainbow patterned sweatshirt and scuffed jeans were covered in dust from the now-dead human city and his hair looked filthy. She was truly sorry, but in a case like this, sorry simply didn't cut it.

"I don't know, Moany," he admitted. It was an old nickname, a standing joke.

Dawn was biting her lip and trying hard not to say anything, but Mona knew her all too well. She could imagine just what she WANTED to say.

As more of an apology than could be said verbally, she put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

He reaction was instantaneous. She stiffened up and jerkwed away, her expression going from sad to blazing furious. She shrugged her touch away and without a word, walked out of the building itself at a brisk pace.

"Dawn, wait!" Yelled Peter. He took off after her at a jog, leaving Mona with Joanna, Nick, her uncle and her brother.

"Hey, I'm with you, Monie. I've known you since you were a baby so I guess you had good intentions. Whatever you had in mind, I hope it turns out okay," he said nervously. He ran a hand through his thinning, spiked blonde hair and joined her side with Joanna. That left Nick and Micah.

She knew her brother would join her side, no matter what his opinion was; he was too protective of her. Sure enough, he joined her without a word. She didn't feel bad about manipulating him; she'd been doing it her whole life. She loved him to death, but love wasn't without perks.

"Nicki?" asked Mona.

"I... need time to think it over, Mona," he said quietly. He still refused to meet her eyes. He, too, wandered outside the strange holding facility.

"Thanks you guys... I ... feel really bad about this now. I mean, I didn't even THINK about the people YOU cared about... I was just saving my OWN ass from eternal loneliness... I mean, everyone there were my only real friends... I didn't think," she admitted.

"Awww, don't be so hard on yourself, they all sucked ass anyway," said Joanna, hugging her tightly. Mona hugged her back, truly grateful she had such a good friend. In that moment, she loved Joanna more than a sister or a mother. Words were indescribable.

"Okay, so what do we do now? I mean, our houses were destroyed, aaand, there's nowhere else to go... could the aliens build us new homes?" asked Micah skeptically.

Mona looked outside. The door had been left open so she could see straight out just fine. At a distance, she could even see her club and several farms, along with one grocery store. The roof of it was covered in debris.

"I'll see what I can do. For some reason, the Irken control brain delegated me to some sort of high ranking officer," she promised.

"Control brain? Irken?" repeated her uncle Hank.

"The aliens are from Planet Irk and are therefor Irkens. Their entire race is controlled by the Almighty Tallest. Tallest Irken becomes supreme ruler no matter what his or her capabilities," she explained, thinking fondly of Red and Purple.

"The control brain is the main driving force behind The Tallest. I don't know much more about them," she finished.

"It forms a big part of what we'll be doing here soon. Glad to see you promoted," said a woman's voice from behind them all.

Mona turned to see the Irken scientist from The Massive a year ago, Zat, her name was. The violet-purple eyes were the same and so was her lab coat.

"Oh yeah... I forgot why I was here... promoted?" she repeated, puzzled.

Zat smiled and pointed to the symbol on the front tail of her new uniform. It was an upside'down triangle left open on the top line to form small hooks and a small eye over the top. It was the only thing on her new outfit not blue; it was a bright purple. The edges of the front tail were double-pointed while the back was one piece.

"Irken Elite Commander. That's only a few positions under the Tallest themselves," explained Zat.

"Irken Elite COMMANDER??" she repeated shrilly, struck dumb.

Zat looked at her oddly, cocking her head to the side.

"Yeah... you have authority over the Elites and every rank below, including the Planetary Conversion Team and Invaders. You could even boss ME around," Zat admitted. As she spoke, she was fiddling with several different glass vials with various liquids in them. Mona immediately recognized human semen in one. She made a face. She didn't even WANT to know how the Irkens managed to get hold of it.

"Wow, wicked! Hey, I'm gonna go over to your place and hang out, wait for you there, kay?" asked Joanna.

"Of course, take care of GIR for me, would you?" she asked. The little robot had been causing nothing but mayhem ever since the Planetary Conversion team had begun work. Mona had been keeping him cooped up inside so far, but she wasn't sure for how much longer. He was like a six year old on crack 24/7.

Joanna left, followed by the rest of her friends, leaving her alone with Zat and the rest of the Medi Irkens. She ignored the screaming of the captive humans and stood beside Zat to see what she was doing.

"What are you doing? Red told me you guys needed help in here with something," she asked.

"We do," said a nearby Irken. His eyes were such a dark red they looked like rubies.

"Well, what do you need help WITH?" she inquired.

Zat handed her a three fingered latex glove and a glass vial full of a milky substance. Mona wasn't sure if ti was male or female but she was willing to bet she didn't want to sniff it and find out. She succeeded in making a face. She REALLY didn't want to know how the Irkens had got hold of so much human bodily fluids.

"We're trying to figure out how so many humans can be bred in a single Earth year when their female's organs are so inferior. I mean, their eggs don't even get fertilized in the ovaries like Irkens!" snorted the ruby-eyes scientist.

"Wait... I thought Irkens were bred in test tubes," said Mona curiously.

"MOSTLY bred in test tubes. We can still breed like normal, we're just programmed not to," said Zat, never taking her eye off what she was doing.

She couldn't stand it anymore. She had to ask.

"HOW the HELL did you get all of this from the humans??" she demanded.

Zat and the Ruby-eyed Irken stared at her and she saw the green on their cheeks tinge darker. They were blushing.

"Organ stealers," said Zat quickly. She withdrew a glass dome plate on a long robotic arm from her PAK and before Mona could do anything, pressed it to her stomach area and zapped her. There was a flash of painless white light and there in the dome plate sat something that looked like white soup and broken pinheads.

"Are those...? is that...?" she asked, raising on eyebrow and pointing a finger at the disgusting stuff. If that was her seminal fluid and eggs, she was going to throw up.

"Yes," said Ruby-eyes, frowning. Zat emptied Mona's eggs into a different test tube and it joined the rest. She noticed hers were slightly... green tinged. Still pretty white like normal, but with a slight green tone to them... was her body becoming more Irken than human?

She watched as Ruby-eyes poked a tool into her test tube and then into one of the human's. All the tubes were labeled but hers, so it was easy to tell. He examined the result under a hi-tech microscope and frowned.

"You must be more Irken than human. Not reacting well with human DNA," he said. No more was said on the subject of her reproductive system.

Mona sighed. If the Irkens were trying to learn more about human reproduction, she didn't see the harm in telling them.

"Humans breed and overpopulate because they DO IT all the time... All. The. Time," she stressed it.

"What, they mate before they even become a couple? Is that typical of humans?? To breed beforehand to ensure fertilization??" asked Zat, bewildered.

Mona was laughing too hard to answer.

"Humans don't breed to have children!! Well, most of the time they don't anyway. They breed all the time because it feels good to them. Us. Them... wait, what-?" she muttered to herself, confused. She hadn't had sex since before she started mutating, so she wasn't sure if it'd still feel good. She would have to test that one somehow...

"Hmm... intriguing," muttered Ruby-eyes. Mona knew what track his mind was on. Sterilizing males didn't always take. He was thinking that if they made sex painful or despicable to humans, they wouldn't overbreed again. Somehow, she felt that was wrong.

She put her foot down here.

"Under no circumstance are you going to mutilate the human's reproductive organs, Ruby," she said firmly, nicknaming him on the spot. He looked at her oddly.

" "Ruby"?"

"Well, better than no name at all," she shot back.

"My name is Roth, but Ruby is fine by me, too," he said, slightly bewildered.

"Fine, then. We'll think of another way. Than you, Elite Commander Mona," said Zat respectfully. She and Ruby both saluted and quickly went back to work.

Before she left, she had one more question.

"You kow how humans breed simply by experimenting on their sex cells... how do Irkens breed?"

Zat took her aside and explained it to her. It was fascinating.

Apparently, male and female Irkens didn;t differ from each other physically... until their hormones took over and sex organs became present. Even then, said Zat, it was difficult to discern different genders, because most reproductive organs resembled nothing more than swollen patches of skin on an Irken's crotch, colored a darker green. They reproduced by rubbing up against each other's swollen organs and exchanged spores. According to Zat, sex felt good to Irkens, too, but in a different way than she supposed humans might feel it.

The whole conversation was fascinating, but she had people at her house to attend to, as well as a pet robot. She excused herself, thanked Zat and left the smeetery.

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YAAAAY long chapter to make up for my absence, I'm sure you all missed me you're probably puking up zimmy rainbows or sumthin... eh... whatever. Yeah, the sidea of Irkens reproducing using spores is courtesy of two of my deviantart buddies, Sanoon and Hlaf dude. praise goes to them not me! 


	19. Nachosplosion and bra tastrophy

SOOO sorry for my long leave of absence!! I'm sure Grogie13, in particular, has been wondering if I was murdered or something... No, I'm fine, people! I'm all set, I've just been scheming ways to get online during the day while my parents are at work (Sad, huh? I'm 20 and still live at home) and finally, I have conquered!

On with the story! PLEASE REVIEW!!

Mona is getting used to having a robot round the house... especially one that acts like a six year old on crack, lol

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She opened the door to her house to find her friends covered from head to foot in orange goo and GIR covered head to metal feet in nacho cheese. He was delighting in waves of apparent joy and smacking his metallic lips noisily.

"WEEEEEEEEEEE I LIIIIKE CHEEEEEESE!!" he screamed, and the moment he saw her, he latched on to her newly-black-clad leg, covering it in the stuff.

"What the hell-? Where on Earth did I get so much nacho cheese?" she wondered aloud. She pried the sticky, cheese covered SIR unit away from her and gave an apologetic look to her uncle, brother, best friend and Dawn, who had decided to rejoin the rest of them.

"I'm sorry, Dawn," Mona apologised once more.

Dawn still wouldn't look her straight in the eye, but she folded her cheese-covered arms and huffed through her nose.

"What's done is done, I suppose. I can only forgive you," she managed to mutter.

"Where's Peter and Nick?" she asked.

Dawn gave a noncommital shrug.

Mona sighed and, tucking the happy robot under one arm (getting herself covered in more nacho cheese in the process) she led to way upstairs to the extra bathroom.

"There's a bathroom right here and one in my bedroom, clean up or whatever, I'll see if I can have someone bring over lots of changes of clothes for you all. I'll be in the kitchen cleaning up THIS nuisance," she said, pointing to the dementedly happy robot GIR.

She left them there to fight over who got showers first and she made her way to the kitchen downstairs.

Hoping water wouldn't damage him, she got a wet cloth and began scrubbing the cheese off of him. It was particularly sticky around his eyes and antennae ball. He giggled to himself and flew a rubber moose around him the whole time.

"There. Now, GIR," she said, staring him right in the eye, "Where did you get the cheese?" she demanded.

GIR giggled again and pointed to her open cupboards. Every single can of chip dip had been opened and spilled and emptied entirely. Ever. Last. Can. NOOOOOO!! NOT her CHIP DIP!! What would she do for munchies??

Swallowing her annoyance, she decided to try and figure out how to contact the Tallest without the power lines needed for a telephone... she dug out the wrist gauntlets that had originally come with her uniform and asked GIR if there was some sort of communication device in them.

"Okiedokee!" he screeched, and he pressed a light green button on the inside wrist of her left arm. A small hologram shot out of the gauntlet and Tallest Red's face appeared in midair. He looked surprised but she didn't miss the way the corner of his mouth twitched in a hidden smile. Did he really like her so much? And for that matter, did she?

"What is it, Elite Commander Mona?" he asked. She figured the impersonal title was for show and not because she had done anything to annoy him.

"My Tallest," she called him, again for show and to show them all she could be professional," my friends require extra clothes and shelter since their homes were destroyed," she requested.

Tallest Red disappeared off the hologram for a moment and the whole image shook and rolled; she guessed the wrist gauntlet way off communication went between gauntlets, from hers to his, instead of from hers to a screen.

The picture steadied itself once more and Red's face reappeared.

"See a little blue button next to the communication one? If you press that in about ten seconds, your bracelet should receive the things I just sent through," he said. She waited etn seconds, in whikch she and Red stared eye to eye, then she pressed the light blue button next to the green on. Almost immediately, a second hologram shot out, sideways this time, and, back and forth like a printer, began to scan several solid somethings onto her kitchen floor.

Her gauntelt, or bracelet as Red called it, stopped scanning and revealed several gadgets on the floor; a long black belt with little doohickies on it for attaching things, what looked like a ray gun, a small pile of what she guessed was Irken monies, a small, dark blue square thingy, a small, round can of what she guessed was some sort of mace stuff and several things she had no name for.

She turned back to Red, who was smiling. She had never seen him smile quite like that; it made him look kind of suave and a little sexy. Listen to me, she thought. To her the Irkens were seeming less and less alien the more she thought about it.

"Some of that stuff looks human enough for you to know what it is," he started explaining, studying the tips of his two long fingers as he spoke. She got the impression he was trying to look nonchalant and cool, to impress her.

"However, the other stuff is kind of hard to explain. It's part telepathic, part machine," he said, and he pointed into the corner. Of course, since their link of communication was strictly the size of their wrist cauntlets, he couldn't see her floor; he had to guess.

She kneeled down so they could both see the gadgets on the floor.

Red pointed to seven of the gadgets which resembled short, tubular things with one large, rounded portion in the middle. There was a button on the bulge and several silver gray rings around the purple objects.

"Those things can be expanded. Have your human friends put a hand on that button thing and draw a picture of the house they want, then close the screen again and stick it into the ground. Make them think of it, too," he added quickly.

"Okaaay... what about this thing?" she asked, holding up the dark blue square thing.

"Ah yeah... I didn't mean to send that just yet," he admitted sheepishly. By his tone of voice, he most certainly had and just wanted her to use it... whatever it was.

"Press on the front of it. It's a manual of all kinds of different stuff, sort of a reference point. Press on the cover again to make it smaller," he explained.

She pressesd on the front of the small blue box and jumped when it swelled to three times its size and opened to reveal- a book. Cool! She pressed the cover again and it shrunk once more into a dark blue box-shaped thing, about as flat as a cell phone and as heavy as half a small brick.

"And this thing?" she asked, holding up the small macey tube thing.

"Alien mace. Blinds on contact," he said shortly, barely looking at it.

It was as she had thought.

"The ray gun is pretty self explanatory, you're smart, you can figure it out. The copper and silver colored coin things are monies, " he said before she could ask.

Now that explanations were over, there was a small, awkward pause.

"Hey, Red," she asked, all formalities forgotten for the moment.

"Mmm?"

"Once the Irkens get settled here, restauraunts and tours and stuff, you want me to give you a grand tour?" she asked. She was asking him on a sort of date and hoping he wouldn't notice.

Red seemed to study her for a moment.

"Sure, whatever, look Mona, I have to go now... um Purple needs my help with Invader Tenn," he said uncomfortably. He was blushing a dark green, and he severed the call. Her hologram communicator disappeared, leaving her alone in her kitchen amidst a pileof alien toys and technology.

She could guess how to get the belt on, and a few seconds later, how to attach the various things to it. Ray gun, collapsible manual book, alien mace and a small black pouch for the Irken Monies. In the end, the utility belt weighed around two or three pounds. Not heavy, per say but she knew it was there. It slung up over one hip and kept slipping down the other, but it wouldn't go any tighter. Normal Irken Elite Commanders were a bit bigger than she was.

She gathered up the rest of the gadgets and set them on the table for when everyone got out of the shower.

"TOWELS ARE IN THE CLOSETS, WRAP UP AND COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR CLOTHES!" she called up through the ceiling. Whoever was in the shower in her room heard her and gave a few short thumps on the floor.

Meanwhile, she decided to make herself a cup of iced tea and wait a while.

She had spared six other humans and there were seven gadgets. If six were meant to be houses, what was the seventh meant for? The answer came to her when she was halfway through her tea. CLOTHES.

She smiled and put her hand on the big button in the middle and a screen slid down. A slim pencil-type object, of the kind included with some handheld gameboys, popped up and she drew clothes that all her friends would wear. While she drew rather detailed pictures, she thought of the clothes, remembering how Red said it was telepathic.

Plain long and short sleeved clothes for Dawn, blue jeans, sweat pants, undergarnments, bedclothes, blankets, pillows, anything machine washable, everything she knew about her friend. As soon as she stopped thinking about it, the pictures she'd drawn disappeared, leaving a clean slate. Was this thing designed to take in several different ideas? Might as well try.

Next she imagined clothes her friend Nick might wear. T shirt, tye dye, licensed hoodies from his favorite tv shows, pokemon, cartoons, rainbows, skater shoes and baggy jeans, some tight clothing, clothes that a young man would die for, everything from underclothes and cartoons to fishnet and gothic. These designs, too, disappeared.

She went through the motions, drawing and thinking of clothes each of her friends liked and regularly wore. She especially had fun with Joanna's clothes. Lacy black and purple corsetted underclothes, gothic pants covered in all manner of chains and straps, rocker boots, spiked bracelets and necklaces, skull rings, spiky hair accessories, black tank tops, even a few shirts with pictures of her own GIR on them, just because. She also included quite a few gothic fairy dresses and black makeup and body jewelry, because she knew her friend liked them.

Next, just because she was wondering if she could, she tried again. She made a few gothic fairy dresses for herself, along with a couple pairs of pants. Without warning, the picture disappeared while she was drawing and thinking and the screen shot back up into the short, purple tube. It jumped out of her hand and began emitting flashes of bright white light.

There was a tremendous BANG and the small tube spat out hundreds and hundreds of things at once, spitting them out folded and in seperate piles all on its own. Shirt after shirt, underwear after underwear, it was like it was exploding with human clothing.

There was a final bright flash of light that spat a lavender-coloreed bra in her face, and the purple gadget self destructed, leaving a small burn scar on her table.

At that moment, Dawn came downstairs wrapped firmly in a fluffy black towel and spotted Mona sitting there surounded by piles of folded clothes, a bra on her head.

Dawn looked at Mona. She looked at Dawn. They both burst out laughing. It didn't seem to matter how much she had unintentionally hurt her old friend, for a little while, all they did was laugh.

Mona finally pulled the pra off her head and examined it. She had guessed at Dawn's and Joanna's bra and clothing sizes, but she soon saw she needn't have worried; she stretched the bra out ridiculously far and it regained its normal shape. Apparently these clothes LOOKED human but weathered more like Irken clothing. It fit to form no matter what.

She snap-flicked the ba at Dawn and it bounced harmlessly off her belly and onto the floor. She giggled again as Dawn bent down and picked it up.

"Where did all these come from?" she asked curiously. .She sniffed a nearby blue long sleeved shirt and smiled. Mona had made all of Dawn's cvlothes smell faintly of Lavender on purpose. She knew the smell relaxed her friend.

She turned her back on her and waited for her to dress herself and when she said ti was fine, Mona turned back around to see Dawn dressed cleanly in fresh blue jeans and a dark blue, long sleeved cotton shirt. Her long hair was pulled up into her towel.

"One of the Tallest gave me a bunch of these things. I used one for all these clothes. I'll show you how they work once everyone's done with their showers," she explained.

That didn't take long.

Soon everyone was crowded in her large kitchen in nothing but towels. Mona provided them all with their enormous stack of new clothes and Joanna in particular was delighted. Forget delighted; she was so overjoyed with her boots in particular that, with her british accent, she was hard to understand.

Mona brought them all outside. Time for step two to make things up to them all. No more border patrol for Joanna; she could stay in what was once North America if she so felt like it. Turned out, she did.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! I need to do chores now... I wish something like that were invented, where you could make clothes like that... I would never grow out of stuff again! 


	20. Home sweet home again, WALMART SUCKS

Hey, I felt bad for abandoning you guys without a warning, so I'm giving you a double chapter today... another chapter of Stranded when I get the file from one hard drive to this one, I promise!

Anyway, Not a lot happened last chapter, so I figured this one should have some from someone else's point of view. So sorry to Dawn or Pete (not their given names, or maybe they are, you'll never know) for making you the sort-of bad guys, but Mona just hurt them too badly for them not to be pissed a bit... PLEASE REVIEW!

Oh, and I'm basing the michigan location on the episode of Zim "backseat drivers" cause of where the Massive's Power core signature ends up before it disappears... And I know nothing about the state, so any small city is decent enough... and NOT detroit! Invader zim had too many white ppl for it to be Detroit, and NO I am NOT racist.

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Mona brought them all outside once everyone was dressed. GIR followed her wherever she went, so he came too.

Nick, in his new faded blue jeans and a white t shirt featuring a picture of Stewie from Family Guy; no human television until things got more settled in; perhaps no television ever again EVER. Dawn in her new outfit, Peter (who had been found and showered) in a brown zip up hoodie, dark shirt and blue jeans, her uncle dressed in black jeans and a black t shirt, her brother dressed in Godzilla paraphenilia and dark pants and Joanna dressed in one of her new fairu goth dresses. She wore her new rocker boots and they went well with the black crepe skirt and red piping with black and purple corseting.

Mona, of course, wore her Elite Commander uniform with loaded utility belt.

She had explained to them all what the extra gadgets were and how to use them; they now wandered around the remains of the human city for a place for each of them to make their homes. Dawn was a little skeptical; Peter and Hank were of like minds, which was, whatever you say, I'll take it as it comes, and her brother, of course, already knew to some extent, what Irken technology was like.

They had stopped near a movie place that was still standing, complete with parking lot and movies. A few cars remained. Gas stations had been obliterated, as was most of the mom and pop corner stores. All that remained were one or two buildings essential for basic human needs, which were food and entertainment. Mona guessed the human entertainment was as much for the Irkens as it was for the humans.

"Ooooh, movies," said Nick, brightening up immediately. He smiled for the first time since the city got leveled, at any rate. Mona showed him how to operate his gadget and once the screen and p encil popped out, he went to town. He drew a two story house, complete with big screen HDTV and all the video games she could think of.

Immediately after the screen popped back in, the purple tube shape became much smaller and out of nowhere, a tiny drillbit popped out the side and began spinning very very fast. He jumped and it fell on the ground. It jumped up and began drilling itself into the dirt. In seconds, it had disappeared.

Mona could guess what would happen. A real time, sped up, construction-style flower bloom.

"Everyone run!" she cried commandingly.

At first, no one did except Joanna, Mona and GIR. They all hid behind a pile of metal and stone debris about twenty feet away.

Within minutes, they all felt the ground beneath their feet tremble. That got them moving. Dawn, Peter, Nick, Hank and Micah all joined Mona, Joanna and GIR behind the mound of metal.

They all watched as a multituide of giant metal cables shot up out of the ground in an explosion of dirt and mud, missing them thanks to the garbage they hid behind. A flash of light similar to the clothes-generating gadget and a minute later, out flew a big screen TV, video games and furniture! It all fell to the ground, which had somehow been covered in purple tiling. More metal cables shot up and twined themselves in midair, and Poof! A second floor was created, plush, carpet-covered steel flooring included! More things popped out of what Mona guessed was a material object materializer, and the second floor now had a bed and dresser and plumbing. Walls suddenly popped out of the sides of all the cables, and all of a sudden, where there was bare dirt not five minutes before, stood a complete two-story house with wraparound porch, screened in deck and front yard.

They all stood there, open-mouthed, even Mona, who had never seen anything like this before. They all came out from behind the ound of metal and stared up at the quaint, two story, light blue house. Nick took a few more steps forward, his mouth hanging open, his hair in his face. All of a sudden, he started running towards the open door of the porch. GIR ran after him, giggling shrilly, something about monkeys.

"WOOOHOO!! MY OWN PLACE!! YAAAAAHHH!! WOOOOOOOO I GOT A HOUSE!! HELL YEAH FUCKERS!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" he cheered as he ran. Mona couldn't help it; she got a case of the giggles. At least he was happy.

Dawn stared straight ahead, open-mougthed like a fish out of water. Then she turned, stunned, to Mona.

"Wuh... how... wha-? WOW... where do I get one of those?" she sputtered.

Mona smiled and handed her one of the remaining gadgets. Vaguely, she wondered how they worked and how much they cost; with any advanced technology, it was bound to cost loads. She also wondered just how many Irken monies being the Tallest got Red and Purple.

Dawn bit her lip and switched glances between the house-making gadget to Mona and back to the gadget again.

"Look, I'm not saying I forgive you yet, but I really appreciate this," she admitted.

Mona flapped her hands, telling her to get on with it.

"Yeah yeah yeah, you blame me for your horrible life, just build a house!" she urged, smiling to show she wasn't angry.

"Okay, okay... ," she muttered. Without any hesitation, she began walking in the direction of the treeline. More leaves than ever were falling off and the weather was getting colder. Such was the pattern of weather near the upper penninsula, Michigan.

They all followed her, with the exception of Nick, who was presumably enjoying the fruits of his new house.

By the time they got caught up to her, she was already communicating with the gadget telepathically and drawing on the screen with the plastic stylus. Mona peered over her shoulder and was surprised and a little saddened to see it looked quite a bit like the house the was probably destroyed. She had also drawn a replica of her little car. Mona didn't feel like pointing out the fact that it might LOOK like a car but that didn't mean it would WORK like one.

She buried the spinning drillbit in the dirt and backed away rapidly. They all followed.

Within minutes, an enormous three level house had been erected with a bar, a woodstove, furniture, an attic, several storage rooms and the odd, sloping roof angle known among arcitechts as a saltbox. There were more triangles than normal, but it was a saltbox. There were sun windows and a back deck, as well as a garage. The front yard turned out to consist of stone decorations.

There were tears in the woman's eyes as she approached the home and disappeared within its sandwood-colored confines. Mona left her to it.

"Gime one of those things," demanded Peter. Mona handed him one and he studied it for a moment.

"Screw it," he muttered, shoving it roughly back into her hands. He followed his close friend into her house.

Mona pocketed it.

She handed a gadget each to Micah, Joanna and her Uncle Hank. Joanna handed hers right back to Mona and smiled brightly.

"I'm stayin' with you, Moany," she said fondly.

Mona kicked dirt at her new rocker boots in retaliation for the stupid nickname, but smiled back. It would be nice to finally spend time with her best friend. She pocketed Jo's gadget with Peter's.

Her uncle stuck his tongue between his lips and appeared to be thinking.

"Uncle Hank?" she asked.

"Over here," he said, pointing. He was pointing far away, on the opposite end of town near the hospital, which had been left standing. Doctors and such had been spared but would be forced to work for free from now on. Humans would be enslaved but treated tolerably well, she decided right then. She was now a high ranking officer; why not take advantage of it and her friendship with Red and make sure of it?

They all wandered in that general direction and Hank drew his dream house. Even Mona was surprised. He drew a two level log cabin, no basement, no attic, TV, couch, chair, beds, bathroom, basic stuff. He planted the technological seed and they all backed up and watched it unfold.

After that, they finished with Micah.

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Dawn felt her friend's arms around her shoulders but payed him no mind. She had loved that girl, but why had she done this? She had always been anti social and a little cranky, but she figured it was a phase and she would grow out of it. WHY had she felt the need to destroy everything good with the world?

Okay, Walmart didn't count. She was glad THAT was gone. But so was most of China, in her assumptions that this alien takeover had affected the whole world.

And what about those who were more like Mona was? Rebellious, intelligent and aching to run free? What would they do when they discovered they were to be enslaved and morally crushed? Forced to give up whatever dreams they'd had and futures never to be? What about them? Would they fight back? And who would lead them if they did?

She would not be like Mona, fighting to save her own opinion or killing and hurting people, for that matter, but the hippy days were gone, so nor could she just talk things through. Could she drop her books and her health food and her scholarly living and become a warrior to defend all that was good about the human race? Could she?

Could she?

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Roth wasn't in any sort of mood to listen to the unbearable crying of the humans in their cages. Several more failed and tried attempts at crossing human and Irken DNA to make a better Irken warrior were not working.

He turned back to the cages and the slavedrivers and yelled at them to do something about all the crying.

A slavedriver named Glik heard the scientist and rolled his eyes. The crying WAS getting a bit unbearable, to be honest. He spotted a slim blonde human with pale eyes and decided to have some fun. Man, being a slavedriver was fun. The girl wore a dark blue vest and a nametag: Kirsty.

'Well, Kirsty... let's see how well you conduct electricity', he thought to himself.

He jabbed his shock prod through the bars of the cage and caught the tip near her underarm where she was cluthing the bars. She shrieked as the shock hit her and jumped back, all tears stopping abruptly.

"But I'm too pretty to be enslaved!! Can't I be one of the breeders or something??" she whined. Glik exchanged glances with his fellow slavedriver for this cage.

Glik jammed the tip of his prod into Kirsty's chest and his friend jammed his into the flesh of her leg. They left them there, electrocuting her, making her hair stand on end and her flesh begin to smoke. He removed his weapon, leaving a scar oozing dried blood.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT??" she screamed, again crying. Her fellow humans had stopped to watch her be tortured.

Glik shrugged.

"Because I can," he replied, and he shocked her again.

Fun.

Too bad Elite Commander Mona did something about his fun a few days later.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! I tortured poor Kirsty as a favor to my real life friend joanna cause this girl at walli's keeps tryin to get her fired or summat. No hard feelings Kirsty,... but if you get my best mate fired, I WILL FIND YOU... hahaha kidding! Seriously. No. Don't even think of it. Just cause I'm in America don't mean I don't know people.

ANYWAY!! I tried really hard to get into Dawn's head on this, and I think I did okay... PLEASE REVIEW!!


	21. Science project

Hey, just to clarify things, the uncle that left Mona the club and the car IS NOT the uncle hank who she spared... I just wanted to clear that up.

She basically goes to the Tallest and arranges the finer points of things and stumbles across something different that both fascinates and worries her... PLEASE REVIEW!!

During lunch today, I discovered that next to chicken fetucinni alfredo, my favorite meal is cream of potato soup with bread and juice. Just something random.

Also, the new character I'm introducing is named Mookie after my favorite webcomick cartoonist, who does the Dominic Deegan series... A million, billion kudos to him cause he rocks!

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Mona left her friends and family to get aquainted with their new improved homes and decided to search out the Irken leaders, both to discuss some finer points and to return the gadgets that hadn't been used. She was amazed at how fast the Irkens built things... already, the smeetery she'd visited earlier was completed.Metal grating and freshconcrete were being put down now, both for human vehicles and for Irken feet.

Off in the distance, near her house, she spotted The Massive. If the Tallest were anywhere, their throne ship would be her first guess.

She decided to see if she could get used to her new, awkward Irken boots and run. They weren't particularly heavy, but they were ungainly and a little clumsy. She wasn't as fast, but she could still run. That was important.

She knocked on the hull of the massive, Irken mothership, the bulk of it rising yards above her head, and feeling smaller than usual, noticed a panel, almost invisible, set into the outside of the hull. Must be some sort of keyhole or something... She fished for the chain around her neck and found the key Red had given her a year ago, on the same chain as his pendant. She fitted her hand onto the scanner pad and inserted the key into what looked like a keyhole and the door opened.

"Score," she muttered, and taking back her key, she boarded the ship.

It hadn't changed a bit. Same tube-shaped hallways with metal gratings and purple and red puzzle-pieced-looking wall joints and scanner pads for doors. A passing Irken Elite gave her a brief salute and continued walking. She called out to him.

"Miss?" he said respectfully.

"Where are the Tallest? I have something for them," she asked.

"Commander, the Tallest are overseeing a special project in sector three," replied the Irken male.

Sector 3? They were drawing the entire town into sectors now? What was this, a colony?

"Which is-?" she said sarcastically.

"Near that human video place on the other side of the city," he replied, more casually this time.

"Thanks a bunch... um... is there a ship of some sort I could borrow to get there?" she asked.

The Elite seemed to think on it for a moment before replying.

"I was actually supposed to report back to them in a few minutes, but if you like, I can take you there in mine," he replied.

"Is that allowed?"

"Not really, but don't tell anyone. It's only because I was in that line you saved from the FBI before and you don't have a ship yet," he muttered.

Ah. That would explain it.

In the end, she hitched a ride with the Irken Elite and learned his name was Mookie.

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Later, riding next to Mookie in his personal cruiser (which was a bit bigger than your average minivan) she got a really good look at what it was like to fly. It was _wonderful_. The cockpit was wide open because they weren't flying real high up and the wind was crisp and fresh and cold. It whipped her hair and antennae around wildly and Mookie raised the cockpit sheath again.

"I need to see where we're going, don't I?" he joked. For someone used to taking orders, he was casual with his commander, whether she'd earned the title or not.

"What happened to Karo?" she asked conversationally as they flew.

"The Elite Commander from last time we were here? She's off taking command of some of the Elite troops on a diffferent planet. You're the one in charge of us here," he replied.

Feeling like there was now quite a bit more on her shoulders, she didn't say much else until they got to "sector 3" as he'd put it. Sector 3 turned out to be one of the old downtown districts. She could tell because along with the other video place was a shop that sold musical instruments, a few old antique shops and one cafe. Intriguing. They'd left behind mostly small shops that were privately owned.

Off in the distance she saw a long, low building that hadn't been there the day before. It was rather inconspicuous looking compared to the other Irken made buildings, and she wondered why... buildings were only inconspicuous when you didn't want people to notice them and if you didn't want people to notice them, you were usually trying to hide something.

They landed the ship right out front and she hopped out, landing solidly on her new boots. They really were awkward things...

They entered the building and Mona saw that here were the cages full of humans from the other building, all either sitting with their backs against the wall, silent or staring out through the bars, hoping to talk to someone. All the fight had gone out of them. The middle of the room was wholely dedicated to a very long table where the slavedrivers sat. The place was just another containment building!

Mookie, however, led her to a back door and once it was opened, an elevator of sorts was revealed. They both climbed on and took a ride down.

"It goes underground," he informed her. His eyes were a dark green color and one of his antennae was slightly crooked. It looked as if it had been torn off and then regrown that way.

The lift stopped and they got out. Mona had to contain herself.

The room was bigger than the one upstairs and dimly lit by the rows and rows of computer banks against the walls. In the middle of the room were giant tubes of liquid, examination tables covered in equipment, Medi Irkens, scientists and, sitting in a corner munching on donuts, the Almighty Tallest.

"Heeey, Mona!!" Purple yelled out, smiling and revealing a mouthful of chewed up donut.

She hopped over the fence that seperated the lift from the room and walked over to them.

"My Tallest," she said, throwing just a hint of sarcasm into it. She wasn't used to taking orders and reporting to a superior.

"No need, just call us by our names," said Red, slightly exhasperated. Fine by her. More than fine.

"Fine. Red, Purple. Um... what is this place?" she asked. She forgot all about her "finer points" for Earth's domination. She looked out on a more level view and was surprised to see that a small... _something_ was floating in one of the smaller tubes of liquid. Something pale and unhealthy looking. She wondered if that was what a not-born Irken smeet looked like.

"Containment building up top, lab on bottom. We figure, we have the humans up there, why not run some tests, right?" said Purple, sipping Irken cola and looking cheerful.

"That's actually what I came down here to talk to you about, sirs," said Mona, taking a seat between them.

"Well?" asked Red.

Mona sighed and figured she may as well come out with it. Humans had a lot of bad qualities, but they also had some admirable ones. They were fighters, if nothing else.

"The human race, sirs. If they aren't treated _somewhat_ nicely, they will form small groups and train to fight you," she warned them.

Purple choked on his cola and said, "what?!"

"Humans have a lot of bad qualities that make them inferior, but if you don't at least be a little nice to them, they'll learn to hate you. After that, they might get a little rebellious. They don't know anything about you, all they know is you came here, destroyed everything and now you're holding them captive," she explained.

"And we care they hate us because-?" intoned Purple.

She sighed, a little annoyed.

"When I was in human school, they tried to get us to wear uniforms, okay? My friends and I didn't want to. So we came to school wearing street clothes, just to piss everyone off and make a stand, get it? My point is, they might form underground groups, so to speak, and plan to overthrow you. They may not be very bright but they _can_ fight," she said seriously.

"So how do we be nice to a conquered planet?" asked Red, looking annoyed. He munched on his donuts, and just to be an ass, Mona reached over and stole one from the bag he held. She chewed it defiantly, trying to get a responce on purpose.

"Hey! Those are MY donuts!" he protested, holding them lovingly close to his chest. They had both changed back into their Tallest garb.

"See? I may not LOOK human, but I _act_ and _feel_ human. You know what I just did? I stole a donut," she said matter of factly, munching on the candy-tasting treat. It was bound to make her feel ill and she wasn't let down. She really wasn't a candy fan.

"Okay, okay, we get it, they'll fight back, so what do you want _us_ to do?" asked Purple.

"I dunno... you're the Tallest, you guys are as high up as is possible to get. Hmm... maybe NOT shock prod them like cattle all the time? Feed them from time to time? Maybe even let them wear whatever they want, so long as they do what they're told. It may seem silly, but sometimes the clothes a human wears makes them feel more at ease," she suggested.

"You know, that's nto a bad idea. We give them food and let'em wear what they want... NOT torture them round the clock... this just might work. Anything else?" asked Red.

Mona thought about it.

"Yeah. The trade commerce," she said grimly. Economics really weren't her thing.

"We have that covered. We're even rebuilding your Earth highway so trucks can get through... we might have Irken engineers change the uelage to accept electricity, though... fossil fuels are just ridiculously primitive," complained Purple arrogantly.

"_Tell_ me about it," muttered Red.

"Okay! So that covers that... um... what exactly _is_ this room for?" she asked, frowning and staring again at the thing in the tube.

Red coughed and stood up, hovering once more.

"Weeelll, um... like we said before, we might as well run tests on human DNA..." he muttered.

Mona rmembered something an Irken scientist had said before.

"You're trying to make a super Elite warrior by mixing Irken and human DNA," she guessed.

Purple choked on his drink again and Red had to thump him on the back.

"How did you know??" he asked, looking fearful.

"I'm not stupid, I listen," she shot back.

"Well, yes, essentuially, that's what we're attempting, but it isn;t working so well... we started out with the sex cells Zat got from you before, Commander, and this isn't working so well," spoke up one scientist.

Mona stepped closer to the thing in the tube, unable to believe what shehad just heard.

"You made this..._thing_ using _MY_ cells??" she demanded shrilly.

Up closer, the thing in the tube mostly looked Irken, except it was incredibly pale and unhealthy looking and tiny wisps of hair floated in the viscuous green liquid. It had five fingers but only three toes and was grossly misshapen.

This THING in a tube, artificially done or not, with or without her consent, was biologically her child.

She got dizzy and felt like sitting down. One of the scientists must have seen this because the one who had spoken wheeled a chair to her. She sat down heavily and the dizy spell passed.

"What _exactly_ makes you think that just because Irken DNA introduced to my human cells without harm means it'll work the same for anyone else?" she demanded.

"Well, we didn't, really. We were just kind of experimenting to be honest. If you like, we can abort this experiment and start a different one," he offered.

The Tallest joined her side, their bodies gaining a strange green glow both from the computers and the liquid inside the monstrosity's tank.

The Irken male who she'd been speaking to pressed a few buttons at the bottom of said tube and the liquid began to drain.

"The liquid goes to a holding tank to be reused. It'd have negative affects if it ever got to the surface ground," he said, guessing her initial worry.

Soon the tank was empty and the thing inside stirred feebly. It couldn't lift its head. This was sad... Mona couldn't look away, however much she wanted to.

"For Irk's sake, just kill it already!" urged Red, looking as disgusted as she felt.

There was no need, however. The tiny thing in the tube managed to lift its head once before they all heard a brittle cracking sound and it fell limp once more. Its neck had snapped. It was dead. Irken and human baby heads were obviously different in size and weight. When mixed... disaster for the delicate bone structures.

"We just can't get it to take! We KNOW it's possible! For some reason,... it must be the liquid, it's made for Irkens, not humans... perhaps if we change the environment..." muttered the scientist.

Mona sighed. Loathe as she was to help in their experiments, she decided to speak up.

"PLEASE use a different DNA source than mine, and MAYBE it isn't working because human babies need nourishment from something other than liquid. Try introducing the cells to a human female artificially," she said, exhasperatedly.

The scientists all stared at her for a moment.

"Do what she says. It might work," said Purple, shrugging.

Mona turned to them, hoping she looked desperate and pleading.

"Please, whatever they do, make _sure_ they're not using MY sex cells?? It's just... that was just wrong on SO many levels," she begged them.

"Perhaps if we introduced the cells to YOU, Elite Commander?" said a scientist from behind her. She turned slowly. He was holding a small beaker filled with some sort of spongy white-green substance.

"Eheh... um... no thanks, I'll pass," she said very fast, and before anyone could say a word, she ran across the room, vaulted over the fence, climbed into the lift and got the hell out of the building in about ten seconds flat.

No WAY was she going to be a science experiment.

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I will update "Stranded" just as soon as I can get a monitor to switch the files... I swear! PLEASE REVIEW!!


	22. Underground plans, sunset gazers

Hey, this is focusing more on the human's point of view, and in particular, Dawn's POV... she's made up her mind. This chapter is a bit sad, so no crying!

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Dawn sat in her living room, surrounded by her favorite books from before the invasion. It was all here as she had drawn and imagined it; her rugs, her figurines, her TV's, even her bedroom. The skylights let in bars of wintery sunshine; it was getting late in the day. What with all the comotion from the invasion, it was getting harder to keep track of the days and times without a calender or a clock in every department store.

The department stores were gone now. Most of them, anyway. All of her oldest friends, her mother, her beloved pets, even her bird had flown away. Her job was gone, because the antique curation shop was gone. Her entire life... just reduced to nothing. She had her house and all her things... but it still seemed empty. For nothing.

She couldn't bring herself to hate Mona. No matter how angry she had been with the girl, she understood why she'd done what she did. There _were_ a lot of things wrong with the way the human race ran things, but there was a lot of good there too. Now the only good left was in the last surviving humans, and even THEY would be enslaved, their spirits beaten down.

She sighed and sat up straighter. Her eye caught the cat toy up in the rafters from where she'd last thrown it before the irken invasion. It was useless now, but memories were good. The humans were gone... but the animals they'd owned remained. Even as she looked outside, she could see three or four cats and a couple dogs walking around, sniffing things, whining, probably starving...

She got to her feet and headed to a back room, hoping she'd remembered to bring her photo albums back into the house; they weren't there. It seemed that the little telepathic buttons on the gadgets Mona had given them could only recreate so much. Things and houses and furniture and carpets... but not hidden pictures. The ones on her wall were imperfect copies, shadows of the real things, which had been destroyed. It was a reminder that this wasn't really her house.

She figured there was nothing for it. She wouldn't fight Mona; despite the mistake she'd made, she was still the only person from the past that was left. No. She didn't have anything left... The people she'd cared about, the animals she'd loved, the pasttimes and hobbies she'd enjoyed... it was either gone or coming to an end soon. She had nothing else to do.

She would gather those people who wanted their old lives back. She didn't know how to fight... she didn't think Peter did, either. No matter... she could find a way... in fact, she was sure she had a couple books somewhere in this place, the result of memories, on how to fight... She could gather those who wanted their lives back and fight back. She wasn't used to losing so much in such a short ammount of timel she supposed she was still in shock. The grief hadn't come quite yet, but it would.

Shock and grief, or no, however, she would fight back. If it only resulted in getting the aliens off Earth, she would be happy. She only had to wait until the remaining humans were released and allowed to go back to whatever jobs had been left standing. She was sure things like food and the internet was still open, as well as television and entertainment. This place would be a vacation planet, after all.

She stepped outside and sat on the porch, staring at the goings on. Here and there, Irkens flew by in their alien ships, some walked, others simply seemed to be gazing at the treelines and at the sky, which was slowly becoming red-gold streaked in purple and pink. It was almost sunset and the colors were beautiful.

"Thinking?"

She turned and saw Peter. He'd decided to stay with her. She didn't mind. There was a spare room downstairs he could have. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder, trying to be reassuring.

A dog walked up to her, licking his chops and whining pitifully. She didn't know what breed it was, but it was about medium-sized, with long, golden and black fur... maybe a retriever and a german sheperd? Either way, it looked hungry.

She stepped inside to see if she had thought to imagine up some food.

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Mona was outside as well, sitting on her roof, leaning her back up against a decorative chimnet. The sky really was pretty today... all red and gold and purple, all blending into one another to form an indescribably beautiful sunset. She had left GIR in the house to watch a tape on VHS since TV was temporarily out of comission, what with the human race being held captive for the moment.

She heard a shout from down below and very carefully, she crawled down on the slanted roof to see Tallest Red on the ground, with Mookie. Red waved and Mookie smiled.

"Come down!" called Red.

She had a two story cape-style house, complete with a very large attic filled with random clutter. It was a long way to the ground, in other words.

She began crawling towards the ladder she'd climbed up with (which had been there for the past two years and was firmly planted in the ground by weeds now) and made a mental note to re-patch the blacktop up here if she got a chance.

Her foot got caught on something and before she could get a new handhold, her hand slipped and she began rolling towards the edge!

She made a wild grab for the edge near the gutter and just in time; her body fell off the edge of the roof and she was only being held up by her hands.

"Uhhhh... heeeeelp??" she called out, worried. Below her, there was grass and an outcropping on the roof where there was a window sticking out. Below that, the ground was very far away.

There was a whooshing sound and Red's voice a few feet below her yelled, "Let go!"

She glanced down, afraid. She didn't like heights when she was hanging by them!

"I can't!" she called back down. She REALLY didn't like the feeling of nothing but air below her feet... were there any rockets on her new boots??

She tried, but, as she'd thought, nothing happened.

"Trust him, just let go!" called Mookie from the ground.

She closed her eyes, and, as if in slow motion, she let go and felt herself fall.

Before she could scream, but after the wind had been knocked out of her, she landed in Red's arms. He was using the hover rings on his bio suit to stay afloat and catch her!

"I can't hover much higher than this," he explained. Their faces were less than a foot away, laying in his arms like this...he was very strong for one so thin, she remarked.

Slowly, he lowered them until they were a foot from the ground, and she squirmed to get of of his arms. He set her down.

"Whew... thanks," she said, clutching her chest. Her heart was still a mile a minute from the fall and the adrenaline rush.

"So... aside from falling off the roof, what's up?" she asked, trying to control her heartbeat.

"Well, we just came over to ask you if the Earth sky looks like that all the time," said Red, glancing skywards. Mookie followed his gaze, the pink and blue reflecting in his dark green eyes , and they both smiled.

"Only at sunset or sunrise, but yeah," she replied.

They were silent a moment as they bathed in the gorgeous sunset. Fifteen minutes later, the sun had set, leaving the sky a bright, velvety blue. The first stars came out and fifteen minutes after that, dusk was gone and the sky was inky black.

All around the occupied sections of the now-mostly Irken city, lights came on, attached to the various buildings, not illuminating everything, but the sections that mattered.

"Wow... this place really is pretty," said Mookie, staring off into the distance. The lights from a nearby building were illuminating the far treeline. Mna could see a bat fluttering in and out of the light, catching insects attracted by it.

Red sighed. He was staring up at the stars and the moon, which shone brightly.

"Why does your moon glow? Is it radioactive?" asked Mookie curiously.

Mona giggled halfheartedly.

"No. It just reflects the light from the sun. I think it's gray, actually," she said, staring up at it.

They stood like that for a few moments more until she heard a strange chiming sound. Red tapped a button on his wrist gauntlet and a hologram of Purple appeared.

"Hey. Bring Elite Mookie and Commander Mona to the lab again. We have a problem," he said. He looked half humiliated, half worried.

"Why? What kind of problem?" asked Red.

"A big problem."

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PLEASE REVIEW!! What's the problem? Review if you reaaaaaaallly wanna know... I know, I'm evil.


	23. The problem's name is 667K9000L7

Hey, this weekend was, hands down, the worst one of my entire life EVER. It was so bad, I'm not even going to regall you with the horrifying tale of it all. I'm just going to upload another update and escape into my story again.

NOTE: Diurna (DIE-er-nul)l is the opposite of Nocturnal, i.e. WE, humans, are diurnal; our main period of activity occurs during daylight. Nocturnal implies sleeping during daylight and active at night, blah blah blah de blah... you get the picture. Listen to me, I write like a dictionary.

Back in the lab, something's gone wrong. VERY wrong.

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By the time they got halfway bacl to the second human containment building, and the lab, the air outside had gotten quite cold. Their breath plumed out in front of them in thick, whispy clouds. Not many people were outside.

"Are Irkens diurnal like humans?" she asked aloud.

"Diurnal? Um... civilians are but we train our military to ignore the biological clock," replied Red.

"Actually, we're programmed not to sleep at all, ever. Our PAK's have charging cells in them to keep us alert and active forever if we wanted to. We're ABLE to sleep if we're bored or lazy enough, though," added Mookie.

They entereed the building and welcomed the warmth that the temporary power generators provided. The lights up here had been dimmed enough so the humans in the cages could sleep. Mona was pleased to see that most of them had pillows and thin blankets now. There was no use pissing off the natives when everything they had ever held dear was gone.

They all boarded the elevator at the back of the room and were silent as it decended. When it reached the bottom, all three of them could see the scientists in the lab in a panic.

Mona, Tallest Red and Mookie all crowded to the edge of the railing overlooking the room and saw something else suspended in another tank of green liquid. Something... eerily familiar...

"What the hell is it? Another smeet?" wondered Mona out loud. Curious, she decended the stairs and approached the tank. The scientists all parted and made way for her.

Tallest Red followed close behind her, followed by Mookie.

"It _is_ a smeet... I thought you guys were experimenting on _HUMAN_ DNA?" asked Red skeptically.

Purple appeared, looking nervous and edgy, playing with his fingertips.

"Well, after you left to go ask Mona about the sky, they started putting all the DNA samples and things away and one of them dropped a vial full of cells. They, um... bonded with something..." explained Purple haltingly, as if he was afraid no one was going to like what he had to say.

"WHAT did they bond with?" asked Red irritably.

"Well..._you_, in a sense," he replied.

No one said a word. No one dared.

"ME?! _H_ow?? My DNA isn't on file!" he insisted, slightly annoyed.

"Well, um, actually, your cola cup from earlier had saliva on it, and it ended up on the floor, as so many of yoru snacks seem to, and well... the cells in the vial must have touched that I suppose. We couldn't stop it, the Mech Arms reached out and grabbed the growing mass and stuck it in the tank before any of us knew what happened!" explained on panicked Irken scientist.

Mona looked to the ceiling as the scientist pointed and assumed they were the "Mech Arms" he had spoke of. Mechanical robot arms with claws that looked as if they could snatch anything.

"Whos DNA fell on the floor?" asked Mona, simply out of curiosity.

No one spoke.

She searched the faces of all the scientists and spotted a vial on the floor, over near one of the computer panels. It was unlabeled.

"Well?!" snapped Red.

"We're sorry, My Tallest! It was an accident!" cried one female scientist frantically.

"WHOSE DNA was it??" repeated Mona.

One by one, the scientists maed a point of looking at _her._

She approached the tank of green liquid. She heard the hum of Red's hover belts from behind her and knew he was following her. She heard Mookie breathing. She could have heard a pin fall, it was so quiet. Even the hum of the machines could be ignored.

The liquid within seemed to glow green, but it was simply lit from below. Floating in the liquid was something not human, not Irken... per say. It was green and had antennae, but that was where the Irken similarities ended. In proportions, it seemed almost human... it wasn't mis shapen like the one whos neck had snapped. Black hair floated in swirls and whorls around its head. It was still tiny, but not nearly as weak or sick looking as the one before.

"It was _MY_ DNA?? " she exclaimed, her voice cracking and breaking with emotion. It was not love. It was worry. And shock. And downright revulsion. This thing in the tank was biologically hers and Tallest Red's _child._

She couldn't think of anything to say... except-

"HOLLEEE SHIT!!"

"WHAT??" exclaimed Purple, sounding freaked.

"It _moved!_" she said, pointing. Indeed, the tiny, three fingered hand had stirred, the fingers clenching and unclenching.

"Ah, it's been doing that since it grew hands. The rate of growth was shockingly fast. We changed the vicsosity of the liquid before the accident," replied one scientist.

There was a gentle chiming sound and it took her a moment before she figured out it was coming from her own gauntlet. She tapped the green button and a hologram of GIR appeared. It seemed to break the stunned silence in the room, at any rate. Tallest Red and Purple stepped aside and started a heated but quiet arguement.

"Master! There you are! Master, somethin bad's happened!!" he screeched, crying. How he could cry when he had no tear ducts and no bodily fluids was beyond her, but whatever.

"What now??" she sighed.

"THE TV'S GONE ALL KERFLOOEY!"

The screeching voice shut everyone up and they all stared at the hologram of her malfunctioning SIR unit.

"Well, find Micah and get him to fix it, then, I'm kind of in the middle of something, GIR," she said, trying to sound authorative. She knew she sounded shocked and afraid.

"Okeedokie!! Bye master!!" GIR smiled happily, his cyan eyes shining stupidly, and he waved enthusiastically and severed the call. The hologram cut out.

She noticed everyone staring oddly at her and put her hands out.

"What?"

In the tank, the Irken-human hybrid clenched and unclenched its tiny green fingers.

"What do we do about THIS?" whispered Purple to Red.

Red groaned and put a hand to his head.

"THIS is why, when Irken smeets are born, they never know their contributing parents or vice versa," remarked one scientist.

Red and Mona both gave the guy vindictive looks.

"Hey! Whoever said that, have someone throw him into a meat grinder! Or something!" demanded Purple.

The black uniformed guards weren't there, so Mona took command. She grabbed the front of the scientist's robes, quietly apologized, and threw him into the nearest wall. He hit his head, collapsed and didn't move.

"Nice," Red complimented.

"Don't mention it," she replied halfheartedly.

"So what are we to do now, My Tallests?" asked one scientist meekly.

Mona looked to the Tallest, Red in particular, and they stared back at her.

"Kill it? Or leave it to an Irken training facility?" asked another scientist.

It was an imperative question. And one that no one seemed willing to answer.

Inside the tank, the baby opened its eyes. They were a deep goldenrod, the color of dandelions. It was obviously a freak genetic mutation, as neither humans nor Irkens could have yellow eyes.

They must have noticed her expression because they all turned and saw it too. It was alive and very awake. Just floating there, dark hair waving in the tank, crooked antennae twitching, no genitals and no apparent gender. The question of what to do with it suddenly became more of an urgent matter.

"There are no training facilities yet!" hissed Red angrily to his counterpart.

"I _know_ that!" hissed Purple in reply.

"Uh, sirs," said a scientist.

"WHAT!" they both shouted.

The scientist cringed.

"Actually, one _has_ been completed... the computers just need to be turned on," he said quietly. All the scientists seemed over the shock of the accidental DNA "contamination" and were now monitoring the levels of the child and checking vitals and statistics.

Mona was stunned. She wasn't a mother... she couldn't be. No WAY. She had never been pregnant, never given birth, was a mother in absolutely no. WAY. She couldn't handle both GIR _and_ a child. Better to leave it up to the Irkens. She felt no kinship with this thing.

Red sighed wearily.

"For the first time EVER, I feel like going far, far away and sleeping," he muttered.

"I hear you," she agreed subconciously.

From within the tank, the child blinked and cocked its head, antennae moving, feeling the sounds and vibrations and the liquid in which it floated. They were crooked and had no particular distinguishing marks, no curls signifying emale, no kinks signifying male... just crooked. As if its cells weren't sure which way to go.

"Drain the tank. Put it in the training labs. Assign it a PAK," snapped Red.

The tank began to drain, the child began to sink. When it was empty, the child sat there, staring around, its dark hair wet and hanging around its head, its crooked antennae wet and soggy-looking, limp and ugly. It had green skin, bright golden eyes, four toes, three fingers and a mout full of sharp little teeth.

The Mech Arms shot out with astonishing speed, broke open the tank, grabbed the child and set it on he floor. It didn't make a sound. Two tiny prongs shot out of the clawed hand at the end of one arm and drilled two tiny, smoking holes in its back and inserted a tiny PAK. A tiny shock insisted the thing stand on its own and it looked around at them all, eyes wide.

A computerized voice from the darkness spoke out, making her jump a mile. She spun around to see an Irken control brain. So there were two now? It had been hiding in the darkness before. Now it lit up.

"PAK identification number 667K9000-L7, No assigned rank, no assigned name," reported the control brain.

The newborn hybrid, 667K9000-L7 for now, stared at everything and anything, its eyes finally resting on Mona. It cocked its head and smiled toothily.

"Uh-oh," she muttered, absolutely terrified.

"What's my name?"

Its voice was tiny and soft and not immediately recognizable as male or female.

"Take it to the training lab, then," urged Purple.

"I'll do it," said Mookie, remembering his Elite duties. He stepped forward, took the little smeeby by the hand and walked out with it.

"Wait a second," said Red quietly, his eyes looking cunning and narrowed in annoyance. He approached a computer panel and began typing furiously. Mookie and the newborn waited.

"Says here the PAK code for that... thing is civilian," he muttered.

"Then I should take it to a civilian lab?" asked Mookie indecisively.

The child broke away and toddled towards Mona once again. It repeated its question. She didn't want to answer, she didn't want this responsibility, she didn't need a child to take care of! She already had GIR! And he was _quite_ enough!

Thinking something up on the spot, she replied, "um...Maize."

" 'Maize'?" repeated Purple, his antennae perking up.

"I dunno, it was the only thing I could think of!" she snapped back.

"Okay! My name is Maize," said the little smeeby.

What on EARTH were they going to do?

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Kudos to grogie13 for coming up with the title "smeeby" to describe and Irken smeet and a human baby. PLEASE REVIEW!


	24. Arguements

Hey, everything is explained in this one, and thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter, you inspire me to write more!

Maize is spanish for corn, although I thought it was from the native american... whatever. No, apparently Mona doesn't know that once you name something, you get attached to it. Many thanks to my biggest reviewer. NOW KEEP'EM COMING OR I'LL SIC SOME FLESH EATING DEMON BED BABIES ON YOU!

Previous threat courtesy of J.C.V. Jhonen Vasquez

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Mona snagged Tallest Red's sleeve on the way out of the building. It was very late at night, sometime around ten now and it was very chilly by now. Brightly colored dead leaves lay scattered over everything and crunched under her feet. Red was forced to stop. He looked stressed out and a little tired.

"What?" he snapped irritably.

"Don's friggin start in on _me_, I had a suggestion," she snapped back.

" 'friggin'?"

"I swear a lot, okay?!"

"Alright, ..." he muttered defensively.

Mookie walked out of the building, Maize, the little hybrid smeeby, in his arms because it walked too slow. He headed off in the direction of what used to be a school district and now looked like the victim of a bombing site. There was yet another building there under more construction. Mona was losing track, these Irkens built things so fast. Like ants on speed.

"What if this wasn't an accident?" she proposed. She had been thinking about it and something didn't add up right. It couldn't be Red's DNA... according to the scientists, the other contributing factor had been saliva on a cup, but saliva wasn't a sex cell... it couldn't fertilize anything, let alone female sex cells, as she had... someone must have lied to distract Red, since Purple was weakest on his own, and to load _her_ with stress to distract her, too... but for what, and why? These questions were buzzing round her head like homicidal flies. She needed to sleep.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what if someone did this on purpose? You can't mix sex cells with saliva, Red, saliva is _complete_ DNA, not a half of something, okay? It wouldn't have bonded!" she insisted.

Red seemed to think about it.

"Makes sense. But why would someone do this? To get me in trouble? I lied back there, by the way. Every Irken's DNA is on file, I was just trying to y'know... sound like a tallest," he admitted.

Mona groaned and let herself sink to the ground. It was hard and very very cold even through her new uniform. She hugged her knees to her stomach and leaned her head against the building. She felt like going into the woods and just getting lost, no company except the dying autumn leaves and the crisp breeze and whatever animals scampered out of her sight... the idea was very tempting.

"Purple is weakest on his own as a Tallest, no one could deny that. Neither one of you could do this job on your own, you _need_ each other's help... what if someone, I don't know who, mixed my sex cells with yours... scratch that, what if someone mixed mine with some other _random_ Irken's and just _said_ it was you to distract you and make you stress out? It would get you out of the way for... something," she thought out loud. '

She felt Red sit down beside her, although with his bio suit, he couldn't draw his knees up quite as far as she could.

No one said a word for a few minutes, but Red thought she had a point. She could be right... but who would want to distract him? And why?

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She watched the two of them from behind a mound of dirt. She had Peter's night vision goggles but she didn't need a microphone to hear what they were saying; she could hear everything perfectly clear. How had she figured it out so soon!

That alien in the lab... it _had_ to be, he had let something slip! How else could it have happened?

Well, the good thing was, no one yet suspected her and Mona now had a child to contend with. Part of her felt bad for involving an unsuspecting child... after all, it was no fault of it. It was only newborn!

Putting the night goggles into a hip pouch, she waited for Mona and the Tallest to leave. When they did, she snuck into the containment building.

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He walked her back to her human home, back to GIR and her human friend, Joanna Myers, back to her "kerflooey" TV and her books and guitar and everything else she held dear to her. All the while the question burned in his mind: _WAS_ the smeet biologically his? And if it was... why??

He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around him as high as they would go; she was hugging him. Awkwardly, he returned the gesture. Without a word, she walked into the house and could soon be heard yelling at the SIR unit.

An idea fresh in mind, Red turned and hovered as fast as he could towards the unfinished civilian learning building. He would get to the bottom of this if it was the last thing he did.

He took an elevator to the bottom of the building where he found a room furninshed in pink, red, purple and dark mauve, standard Irken colors. A civilian nursery worker kept watch over the first smeet ever to step foot in the room. It turned its bright yellow eyes to him as he entered and smiled toothily, crooked antennae twitching.

"My Tallest," said the worker, saluting.

"Get a skin sample from the smeet, test it. I need to know parentage so we can figure out what to do with it," he demanded.

The nursery worker frowned slightly, but pulled out a knife and a small vial and gently took the smeet's arm in her hand. She scraped some skin off, gently and set the DNA sample on a nearby table. She turned on one of he computer consoles in the room and fed the skin flakes into an extrapolator. With the advanced technology stolen from the Vortians and mixed with their own, results came back in about two minutes.

"A quarter of the DNA doesn't appear to be Irken and the computer has matched those Irken cells to one of the Elite, Mookie. The rest of the DNA appears to be either not Irken at all, or matched to..._you_," she read off, puzzled.

Red froze. The DNA matched to his confirmed two things: One, Mona was right, this _had_ been done on purpose. And two, she had also beenright about saliva not being compatible as a sex cell, which proved the first point. Third, he was biologically the father of this genetic mistake on the floor.

"Wait, wait wait wait, Elite Mookie? _Mookie?_ Are you sure??" he demanded. He snatched the paper from her and read for himself. She was right. Whatever DNA Rome had used to mutate Mona, it had apparently come from Mookie. He wondered if either of them knew. It technically made Mona Mookie's sort-of twin sister. He decided not to let either of them know. It'd only cause problems. He folded the DNA results up and stuck them in his pocket.

He leaned down and got a cloer look at the yellow-eyed smeet.

"Hiiiii!" it said, smiling and waving. It was reading a book on human culture.

"Have you figured out what gender it is yet?" he asked.

The nursery worker scanned the little smeeby with something from her PAK and bit her lip.

"Appears to be female... but the organs are all wrong for an Irken... a squeedilyspooch and a heart, but the heart is bigger than a normal Irken, and reproductive organs aren't fertile...what _is_ this thing?" she demanded.

"You don't wanna know," he muttered.

He left to go find Purple and have a nice long talk with all the scientists. If this had been done on purpose, and for a reason, one of them must know _something_.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! Pictures of little Maize can be found at this link w w w saoirseranekaera dot deviantart dot com /art/667K9000-L7-Maize-93087359


	25. S O L

Hey, sorry for the delay, been doing art for deviantart lately, chatting with megadoomingir and lithium muse, so but now I'm back! And there'll be hell to pay for the scientist that was bribed by Dawn...

Just to clear things up, the DNA readout Red had the nursery Irken print out revealed that the DNA Mona had been mutated WITH happened to come from Mookie, so Mookie's DNA is what mutated her. Mona's cells, both human and Irken, were then combined with Red's, hence Maize was created, so Maize is technically mostly Irken with some human thrown into the mix. For example, as seen in Lithium muse's older elite version of Maize, she has small human-like breasts and a slightly feminine human shape, even though she appears to be full Irken... this is what I mean.

Anyway, read on, thanks to my most loyal reviewers, to all the newbies out there, PLEASE REVIEW!!

Again, for safety purposes, Dawn and Peter's names have been falsified. You'll never know their REAL names, lol

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Red arrived in the underground labs to see the scientists all getting ready to leave and attend to other matters. He blocked the way to the lfit on purpose and held his arms out, barring them all. It was so NEAT being a tallest.

"No one leaves this room until I find out who got bribed by who!" he announced sternly. Better to keep things simple.

Most of the scientists all looked at one another, confused and curious. All, Red noticed, except one towards the back who was slowly backing away, looking skittish. He recognized him, not by his face, but by the numerous bruises, cuts and half-healed abrasions on it.

"HEY! YOU! Rome!!" he commanded. The others stepped aside and there stood Rome, not dead but still clearly hurting from Mona's severe beating.

"Y-yes, my Tallest?" Red was glad to hear that he was afraid... oh, so very afraid. It looked like he had found the weak link among the scientists. First the stunt with Mona and the DNA tack, and now Maize's illegal-not-authorized-creation. It was time to take him to trial. He would arrange one with Purple and one of the two control brains tomorrow. For now...

"Come with me!" he demanded. To make sure he obeyed and didn't run off, he grabbed the scientist by the front of his torn robe and tucked him under one arm. He wasn't very heavy because he was so short, but it was still a struggle.

"Where are we going, sir?" he asked.

Red steooped off the lift and into the main containment room of sleeping humans. He leaned his head down so they were almost face to face, smiled sweetly and said, "WE aren't going anywhere. YOU are going in THERE."

He pointed one long finger to an empty cage up against one corner of the room.

"No! P-please, sir! My T-tallest, please no!"

It was too late. Red had unlocked the cage and thrown him in. For good measure, he pressed a button that made all the cages shock, fire and bang proofed. Not even he could escape these cages.

Immediately Rome grabbed at one of the bars on the cage and pleaded with him.

"P-please, Sir! It wasn't me, it was the human girl! I swear, it was her! She threatened me with something horrible if I didn't do it!" he begged.

Red stopped in his tracks. Finally, a confession. He loved it when they broke.

"Go on," he insisted.

"The human female, the tall one Mona spared from enslavement... she, she insisted I mix the cells to form the freak hybrid, to distract you... I think she already got to these humans in cages, Sir she's planning a rebellion!" he admitted.

Red just stared.

Suddenly, the humans in the caegs, whom he'd thought were asleep, sat or stood upright and started in on him at once, demanding that they be let free at once, to go home and be with their families. They weren't helpless anymore; now they looked _angry_. Mona had been right about one thing; it appeared that as feeble as humans were, they had fight in them.

He glared at Rome hatefully and, ignoring the angry outcries of the corrupted humans, left the building, turning his back on both the Irken double-traitor and its human inhabitants.

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Mona sat on her beaten down couch next to Joanna and GIR, watching a movie on VHS for lack of anything better to do when Tallest Red burst in without knocking.

" Mona, where's Dawn?" he demanded right away, looking breathless.

Mona was speechless. GIR, on the other hand, put one metal finger to his lips, glared at them all and said, "SSSSHHH!! The good part's comin' up!"

Red looked disgusted and yanked on her wrist, begging her to get up and follow him into her kitchen. She did.

Her table held all the extra house-making gadgets that hadn't been used, a total of two. Red absentmindedly pocketed them.

"You wouldn't believe it but these are expensive on Irk," he muttered. She nodded.

"What's this about?? Why do you need Dawn??" she demanded. Red had never looked so serious, so... agitated. She wondered where Purple was.

"It's Rome! HE's the one who crossed our cells! The woman you spared bribed him into doing it, to distact us, and it worked! Rome says she got to the humans in containment building two!" he hissed worriedly.

"How do you know?" she insisted, folding her arms across her chest.

"They were screaming for my head when I was walking out of the place!" he insisted.

"Oh no..." she muttered. This was bad. This was so very very bad. If she knew Dawn, the woman was not at home anymore; she had probably set up base someplace else. She would not put it past her and her resourcefullness to set up base someplace in the freaking _woods_. She could do it. She knew her.

"Well? What do we do??" he demanded.

Mona stopped looking worried right away, unable to believe her ears.

"Do?! You're asking ME?? _Your're _the Almighty Tallest! Why ask ME??" she demanded shrilly. She was no leader!

"Because YOU know her better than anyone else, that's why," said Red more calmly then before.

Suddenly a head poked into the room. It was Joanna, looking mullish.

"Sorry... I overheard you guys talking. Why would this Dawn person do this?" she asked. She stepped more fully into the room, wearing her hair in two tiny pigtails at the back of her neck and a long black nightshirt she'd borrowed from Mona.

Mona sighed.

"Because she forgave me for helping the Armada "destroy" human civilization but she couldn't accept its fate. She probably wants to fight back and regain human control," Mona guessed.

"And she bribed a scientist to create a baby Irken to distract you so she could? That's disgusting! Babies aren't meant to be used as distractions! This bitch is DEAD. Where can I find her?" Joanna demanded.

Red and Mona both stared.

"Uh... nowhere. If I know Dawn, and I do, she isn't home anymore. She's taken Peter and ran off someplace else to make a different base of operations," Mona admitted.

"Irken smeets can take care of themselves from birth, the only reason they don't is because they all go through standard proceedure training and downloading," Red added.

Joanna drew a blank and sat down heavily in a kitchen chair. From the living room, GIR giggled maniacally.

"So what about Maize?" asked Jo softly, looking at Mona. She had told her best friend all about everything so far.

Mona shrugged and Red looked embarassed.

"Biologically and genetically speaking, we _are_ her parents. DNA run confirmed it, I checked with the smeetery Irken earlier," Red admitted quietly, as if he'd rather not have said anything.

Mona looked conflicted. Torn between thoughtfull, and stunned.

"Have her raised as any normal Irken, I guess..." she said slowly, "and after she's done with Irken training, teach her about human history so she isn't completely stupid."

Red nodded in agreement.

"But... you're her _mother_, Moany.. aren't you going to... y'know, raise her yourself? And Red is her father... what about him?" Joanna asked.

If he had looked uncomfortable before, it was nothing compared to the look on his face at that. Mona, too, felt distinctly uncomfortable.

"Jo, Maize wasn't created for any reason more than to distract us. We can't let ourselves be distracted or Dawn won this round. I know she's biologically mine and Red's child, but think of the implications. She would grow up forever in his shadow," explained Mona, pointing to Red, who gave a mock bow," or a control brain would find out and have her deactivated."

Joanna's gaze fell, but Mona understood her friend perfectly. She had no problem with plans for Earth, the Armada or the downfall of the human race and she didn't have a problem with Mona "abandoning" her ill-begotten daughter after an explanation. For the child's safety, it was better that she, like all other Irkens, didn't know her parentage until she was older and ready to fight.

"If I know Dawn, she'll drag this rebellion of hers into a full blown war between humans and Irkens. I'm not sure who'd win since the human military was practically destroyed, but I know it won't be an easy fight. There are other ways to fight, not just hand to hand and Dawn can be sneaky when she wants. Plus she's smart," Mona explained forlornly. Red perked his antennae up in question.

"You mean if this gets out of hand, there could be a war for control of Earth?" he asked.

Joanna looked to her as well, both waiting for an answer.

"I don't know. All I'm saying is, we better find her and shut her plans down before it DOES get out of hand."

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Dawn led her tired, small group of stragglers through the nearby woods, towards Lake Michigan nearly fifty miles away. They had been walking fior several hours now and dawn was fast approaching. Winter was definitely coming; the sky this early was slowly turning from deepest blue to a pearly, opaline winter white.

She had Peter and had managed to convince four children who could wriggle out between the bars of the cages. Three were small, no older than six or seven and the fourth was a bit older but very skinny. He had an unusual hairstyle, scythe shaped and pointy and he wore glasses. The alien's treatment of them all was deplorable.

They were all underfed, cold, tired and sweaty so she set down her backpack and rifled through it, looking for canned food and some spoons. Time to eat.

As they ate canned ravioli and pears, they looked at their surroundings. No one said a word but every once in awhile, the pointy-haired boy would mutter under his breath. His frowny face shirt was covered in mud and his jacket was torn. Dawn herself wore filthy clothes and her hair was a tangled mess of leaves and twigs.

"Where do we go from here?" asked Peter solemnly. The sound of the woods were starting, first squirrels scampering about, then the birds. The sun began to rise, bringing warmth with it, but only a little bit. It _was_ November, after all. And getting closer to December by the day. Very soon walk on foot would be made impossible with children because of snow, ice and cold, but for now it was the best they had.

"As far from any alien-controlled civilization as we can, I suppose. Once we have enough people, I guess we grab what weapons we can and fight back," admitted the ragtag group's leader.

It was as good an answer as any..

Meanwhile...

Dib sat on a rotting log and grudgingly ate his canned ravioli. He didn't know anyone here, but at least they were all human. This was all Zim's fault. If he hadn't come to earth in the first place, they would all still be here! His dad, his classmates, even Gaz and her video games... all gone now. Just him left. The thought saddened him and he hastily wiped a tear away.

"_Poor Dib-stink, crying in the middle of nowhere,"_ sneered a voice he had no trouble recognizing.

He jerked his head up and looked around frantically. Zim?

"_Only you can hear me, Dib filthy. The pathetically inferior adult human ears can't even _see_ me for now," _said the voice.

He dropped his can of food and clapped his hands to his ears. No way was he hearing Zim's voice, now here, not now. Zim was _DEAD_, was gone, wasn't here anymore, and good riddance.

"_Au contrair, filthy pig smelly! You think ZIM can be dead for good?! I made SURE I left something behind of myself before the Tallest came and killed me and I DID! Behold!"_

Before Dib, right in plain sight leaning against a dead birch tree, there flickered something... a pale shadow of sorts... it flickered in and out like a badly tuned television and finally, there stood his sworn enemy. ZIM. He looked much the same as the last time Dib had seen him, except he looked paler, more flimsy. He could see right through him, in fact.

"Zim... you're a ghost? Oh, COME ON!" Dib cried out loud.

The people around him all jumped and looked around, worried.

"Uh... there's no one there, kid," said Peter, looking bewildered and a little relieved.

"FINE. If _that's_ the way he wants to play, then _fine_," he muttered under his breath. Everyone who'd thought him crazy before was either dead or not here and he didn't want to recreate that stigma with a fresh start. Even if said fresh start came at such a high price.

Zim;s plae shadow of a body sneered at Dib and laughed, his voice ringing in his ears like some nightmare version of hell from which there was now no escape. Dib alone knew about this... and he alone could do nothing about it. He was powerless.

Unless...

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Uh oh!! I reintroduced Zim and Dib!! What's he got on his mind and up his sleeve this time?? You'll have to wait!! HA!


	26. Maize

Hey, I'm jumping into it here, before I forget.

PLEASE REVIEW!

credit for the name Raika (rye-ka) goes to my friend Bex and credit for the name Skirple comes from Lithium Muse

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Raika kept a watchful eye on the hybrid "science experiment" that was also her tallest's offspring.Because of the DNA printout and the human contamination, she knew it wasn't a natural-born smeet but it was part human... which implied...

No. Absolutely not.

The Tallest would never allow it. Such a smeet would be killed.

Still, the child _was_ adorable. For the moment she played on the floor with some cloth blocks that had been scavenged from a human preschool. It would have to do until the computers were fully up and functional.

She was spelling words that she had possibly never heard. An exceptionally intelligent Smeet, for sure. Because of her DNA incontinuity, she might never make it up among the ranks of the Irken military, but then, even civilians learned military tactics. Either way, she would be a fighter.

Raita tossed her another book and she tossed it aside in favor of a rock. Perhaps she wasn't as intelligent as she'd thought at first.

"No, don't chew on _that_..." Raita muttered to herself.

She went over to the smeet and pried the piece of earth from her mouth. Meanwhile, her blocks spelled "Deoxyribonucleic".

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Maize was not stupid.

She was intelligent enough to know this. But even though she had so far learned that books were interesting, so were the rocks at her little feet. And so was the floor. And so were the bolts and rivets in the very walls here. The whole place was fascinating.

She was only just born, but even so, words and pictures flooded her mind. Words she hadnever heard spoken but "heard" nonetheless. People, human and Irken, that she had never seen before yet felt she knew somehow and tactics and phrases that she shouldn't know yet. These things fascinated her to no end.

So far, the nice nurse lady who had been watching her hadn't said much. But what about the big tall giant that had come to see her before? So tall he seemed to reach the sky above her... She had fallen over trying to oggle his face and she giggled at the memory. Who was he?

She looked around, her large head swiveling on her little neck, and saw a piece of paper hovering on the edge of a desk. She clumsily got to her feet and took her first steps.

It was nothing monumental; she could walk from birth. Nonetheless, she felt unsteady on her little feet.

She reached the paper and read it. It was bigger than her face. So _that_ was what deoxyribonucleic acid was... DNA, everything living had it... but hers was different. She wasn't quite sure yet... but she could learn.

She could always learn.

Raika didn't notice the smeet toddle into the other room; she was busy reading a human magezine, tsk tsking at the various articles. Ridiculous. It was good they were being wiped out, really.

Maize, meanwhile, found the stairs tricky. She knew the pronciple but her legs were just too short. She was too little. She noticed the air getting colder on her skin, too and she shivered.

Down the stairs, her jaw dropped. Lights. Buttons. Flashing... thingies! She was in a plaroom!

"Ooooh..." she said to herself.

She toddled over to the nearest chair and tried climbing up, but to no avail. Finally, fed up, she extracted mechanical spider legs from her backPAK just by wanting to. NEAT.

This place... she didn't EVER want to leave this world.

The moment she got up into the chair, however, she decided this thing wasn't fun at all... it was scary.

Two strong, robot arms with wicked pointed claws grabbed her and strapped her to the chair and another arm placed a sort of helmet over her head. She couldn't see! What was this??

Unaware she was doing it, she began to cry. They were remarkably similar to a human cry, but older sounding, not so newborn.

"Sit still, Irken smeet," said a soothing male voice. She didn't know who it was but she quieted down. She had been followed!

But when she peeked from underneath the helmet, all she saw was a pearly blue-white shadow of an Irken. He smiled and waved. She laughed and waved back, not knowing any better.

The helmet was replaced and she stared straight ahead, but she could tell the shadow was still there; he was really cold and he kept explaining things to her, how the thing she was wearing was an education helmet, it would teach her all she wanted to know.

"Who are you?" she asked innocently.

A freezing hand closed itself over her tiny one and she jumped. So cold!! She didn't like it.

"Zim."

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Mona didn't feel right. Despite what she'd said about Maize, she still didn't feel right. She really couldn't be a mothe, biological or otherwise, but the little smeeby was kinda cute... and she was all alone on a foreign planet... the firstborn smeet on a foreign planet called Earth.

She at least deserved to be visited and told the truth, that somewhere out there, not far away, she had someone she could rn to and talk to if she wanted, that she was never alone on this fabulous planet called Earth.

Her resolve quickened, Mona pulled on a clean, spare uniform given to her by the Tallest and, also grabbing a black trench coat (it was cold despite the daylight) she made her way to the Smeetery.

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It hadn't been hard to find, to be honest. All she had to do was follow the screaming.

She burst through the front doors and down the stairs two at a time to see something impossible.

A shadowy, smoke-billowy Irken stood there, talking to little Maize, who sat in a chair, restrained and positively shaking in terror.

"Someone!!" she screamed so loud it hurt.

She didn't know if it could be maternal instinct if she had never given birth or been there for the development, but something clicked in her mind and she ran forward.

"No!!"

She halted only for a second. The smoky figure was obviously some sort of hologram or a ghost or something... but then why could she touch it?

She didn't understand it much but she grabbed the restraints holding Maize's hands down and broke them. The helmet fell off ehr head and the frightened Irken child jumped into her arms. She buried her face furiously into Mona's Commander uniform and she was not surprised to feel her trembling.

She turned to the smoke figure, but he had gone.

She brought Maize upstairs to the nurery but found no sign of a guardian. Little did she know, Raika sat shaking like a leaf in a darkened closet, scared senseless.

With nothing else to do about it, Mona took Maize to her place for the night.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! next chapter up as soon as I get permission to borrow a certain character!

What's Zim up to now??


	27. The plot thickens! Dun dun DUUUN

Okay, last chapter was just some insight on Maize's character. Since I have to stall waiting for megadoomingir's permission to borrow a character out of context, here isd a stall chapter. I probably won't get to update much this weekened because the parents are here all day and they bitch about me being online all day.

So here it is. Things are explained here, about Dib, about Zim and how he somehow survived ...

Just in! This is no longer a stall chapter, for I now have permission!! Tallest Chi borrowed with permission from megadoomingir check her out, she's awesome. The only other thing I;'ll borrow besides Chi herself is megadoom's fact that she came a few months before red and purple.

just read and review! Kudos to tallest blue and grogie13 for bein such awesome reviewers!

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Dib followed the little group for the next week and a half and by this time, they had all acquired wool blankets, new provisions and, at long last, a base. It wasn't much more than a glorified gardening shed, but it was big enough to accomodate them all. Dawn, Peter, himself and the three smaller kids. He didn't talk much to them. They annoyed him.Over all that week, he considered possible ways in which Zim could have cheated death.

He saved that wierd backpack of his? Or perhaps they kept his brain for some reason? Or maybe he hadn't died at all... but then how was he a ghost? Or maybe it was just a hologram designed to scare and humiliate him? It was a Zim thing to do... but something in his gut told him it was none of these. Then how??

They all sat around a blazing campfire inside the shed. It was entirely made of sheet metal, so it was alright. Plus the cracks between the walls let cold air in and provided smoke ventilation. Even with the fire, however, Dib was still shivering. He'd been forced to wear the same clothes since the Irkens invaded Earth to begin with and they were very smelly, caked with mud and filth, torn and worn thin. Everyone was a mess. He felt disgusting.

_If Zim could see me now_, _I'd never hear the end of it._

Zim COULD see him and once he was restored to some sort of body, he WOULDN'T let him hear the end of it.

Zim stood on a tree branch overlooking the metal shed. He had his head stuck through the roof. Being a mere shadow of his great self had advantages; for example, he could walk through stuff and spy on people! Why hadn't he thought of this before the Invasion? He could have taken over this filthy little mudball WITHOUT the Armada!

The only thing that seemed a little... OFF was how he couldn't feel anything anymore. He knew he was dead. That didn't stop him wondering why he was still here. Perhaps the Tallest had kept some part of him alive and well?? Perhaps they had only kill his BODY and kept his PERSONA alive?

He had managed to glean SOME information from the little smeet with the crooked antennae back in the new Irken city. The little girl had been incredibly young but thankfully not stupid; such was the superiority of the Irken race.

So far, all he knew was foolish human folklore, both from the machines the smeet had been accessing, the smeet herself and his sojurn in the human world himself, so far as he knew, he was a ghost. The spirit of a dead person.

He wasn't sure he believed in such nonsense as this human propaganda but it made sense.

So far, though, his spying efforts yielded nothing. The filthy dib humans the the other human worm babies had done nothing except whine and gripe and eat disguting human filth out of cans. They could have chosen enslavement where at least they'd have fresh food and a decent bed to sleep in and here they were, choosing to live as wild animals!

It was information he was enjoying keeping from them, after all. He had been to see his "Almighty Tallest". The way they were treating the human slaves was apalling! Hour long breaks in which to socialize on weekends, no uniforms, pillows! WHYYY pillows?? Granted, they were still unpaid, underfed very electrocutable slaves, but they had it far better than the Screw head people of Boody Nen or the Slaughtering Rat people of Blorch!

It was ridiculous and weak. Had the humans made them soft?

Regardless, he had a job to do of his own. But first he had to get a body, _any_ body. And the best place to do that was a smeetery. He knew of one in the other city, where he'd hidden what remained of his ruined PAK. It was damaged beyond repair, of course, but no matter; he could simply receive another one and re-encode it with his personality once more.

Really, being a ghost was sort of fun. He could travel long distances without walking, he could fly without aid, he could even turn visible and scare people, but the novelty was wearing off fast. He had his own job to do. It was better not to keep _her_ waiting, at any rate.

He withdrew his ghostly Zim head and flew off towards the Irken city from which the stragglers had come.

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Maize was growing on her. It was amazing how the little smeeby seemed to know who she was without a word passing between them. She even seemed to know Micah, for when he walked into the room, she threw her hands up and giggled. She was no human baby, far more intelligent and capable of getting things for herself already, but at times, _everything_ seemed to fascinate her. Especially tugging on Joanna's hair. After a week, her vocabulary had grown indefinitely and so had her comprehension skills.

Maize's own dark hair was sleek but not shiny, very rough textured and choppy looking. When she ran her fingers through it, Mona realized it wasn't cut like that, it simply grew that way; all over the place.

After awhile, Mona figured it was safe for the little smeet to go back to the smeetery. She walked her over herself and, making sure a nursery worker was there, walked back home. Over the past week the city had really been renewed. The humans had been let out of cages once they swore their allegiance to the Armada and they ahd all gone back to work or been given dorms specifically for the slaves. Even now, in places where buildings once stood, there grew new trees.

She wasn't aware she was being watched.

Yet she was. Tallest Chi watched everything from orbit, settled comfortably in her throne seat on her own ship. It was nowhere near as big or as lavish as The Massive. Those two always DID have to have the best. Conceited young fools.

She sipped her cola and watched as the strange hybrid-looking thing walked back to her human house, smiling , blissfully unawares.

Since her days as the Almighty Tallest, the Irken Armada had gotten weaker under those two morons. Even their conquering skills had gotten soft. It had taken them weeks to gain control over their new "vacation planet"! In _her_ day and under _her_ rule, it would have taken three days!

She sighed when she saw the way the slavedrivers handled their human slaves. These humans were capable of so much more than tour guides and farmers and exporters. If pushed hard enough, they had the power to build empires.

She had been studying this little blue planet ever since she had heard of Zim's execution. Hmmph. The present tallests couldn't even do THAT right. Zim's spirit had contacted her shortly after the first Invasion of the Armada. He had asked a favor of her. She had agreed, in return for undying devotion. Even now, her plan unfolded in her mind. Her radar and cloaking devices were superior; no one would spot her ship in orbit.

She would show those control brains AND those "tallests" that things would be better in HER hands.

Sighing again, she continued to watch.

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Things were going well. This planet was even more beautiful in the human month of December. The humans requested the 25th completely off but they had put their feet down. Absolutely not. They could celebrate in their own way, on their own time. Slave meant slave, and that was that.

So far, things were going well. He and Purple were overseeing the first month on a vacation planet, which would keep its original name of Earth, Mona had been put in charge of a special group of Elite, which included another commander, Karo, whos job it was to track down Dawn and her renegade group of rebels. According to the calculations, her little group was now nearly 1,000 strong. It would be easier to spot her now. Itr's more difficult to hide a thousand people than it is to hide six, as Mona had said before.

As the days wore on and got colder and colder, snow began to fall. Snow was white and wet and he found it pretty but horrible. Even so, despite the Irken allergy to water, Irkens from around the universe were already starting to visit and relax. Monies started to flow and thus the human economy was replaced.

Maize finished her military and civilian training in record time. She wasn't even a month old yet but was already way ahead of her fellow smeets, who had started being born in the now-finished smeetery. She was given a designation in the Irken city and now lived in a very smeet-sized flat overlooking what was now a huge central park area, complete with snow covered fir trees, benches, a gazebo and a small icy pond. It was amazing how much the city had been changed, from a polluted cesspool to this beautiful place.

Human crime, too, had completely stopped. Even though they were slaves, they never complained. Even the ones who had been screaming for his head before now nodded or saluted in his direction. It really was a revolutionary first for the Irken Armada.

By the time December 25th rolled around, things were really rolling. Human foodstores were thriving and Irkens in for a week or two were also enjoying the other-worldly novelties, such as krumcakes and pizza. Everywhere he looked, human slaves and Irken holidayers were talking and chatting amiably. No one was sad or depressed, no one was complaining. It seemed Mona had known what she was talking about when she named the terms.

That very evening, he found a strange, colorful ox in what was now his and Purple's apartment. It was huge, lavishly decorated in a combination of human and Irken style, with plush red carpeting, purple walls, golden-gilted marble and nice furniture indeed.

He opened it and found a small kitten creature, with big blue eyes, dark gray and white fur and a huge red ribbon around its neck. It was incredibly tiny and irresistably cute.

He picked it up. It weighed nothing. It licked his face with a small pink tongue and mewed happily.

Smiling, he noticed a piece of paper in the box. It had only one word.

Mona.

Smiling, he let his present onto the floor to roam.

He should have enjoyed it while it lasted.

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I hope I got Chi in character! This is definitely one of my better fics, so please review!! The cristmus kitteh is a kitten from the cat that grounded the masssive at the beginning.


	28. Exhaustion

Hey, sorry for the delay here people...

Onwards!

And no, the last sentence from the last chapter didn't imply Red should have enjoyed his christmas present while it lasted... the kitty is okay, folks! It just meant he should have enjoyed the good times while they lasted.

Onwards. Review or I'll have GIR smear you in cheese dip!

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Red decided to name the little earth animal Oreo, after what was, so far, his favorite human snack. He later learned that Oreo was the offspring of the cat Mona had saved from the Massive's service tunnel what seemed years ago now. She had appropriately named it Massey, after his and Purple's ship.

The little kitten follwed his _everywhere_. Even into the nachi cheese, to Purple's dismay. He had had fun cleaning that mess. As for the other kind of messes, he let the little thing outside.

Outside looked totally changed from the human city. Everything that wasn't Human or Irken building or metal grating and paved vehicle road, was grass and field.irken scientists were having a field day classifying and datebasing the Earth flowers and different plants and the historians were kept busy round the clock updating the control brains with all of Earth's history from human textbooks.

The smeetery was now fully functional and more and more civilian Irkens were coming to and enjoying Earth. But despite all the progress, something nagged at him...

Every once in awhile, he would swear he heard Zim's voice. And sometimes when he was alone, he would feel a strange cold wind on his neck or arms... even his antennae were getting paranoid, the ultrasensitive sensory organs continually sensing something there when there was nothing.

He told Mona about these feelings of creepiness, too. Purple thought he was paranoid; Mona, on the other hand, frowned and said jokingly that maybe he had a ghost.

He had later looked up the meaning of the word 'ghost'. Apparently, it was another word for spirit or soul, the energy that lived inside of every human creature. Red compared it to Irken PAKs in his mind. Both souls and PAKs simply used Irken and human bodies as vessels with which to get around. It was deep stuff, really. He was so absorbed in it, in fact, that he hardly noticed his little kitten climb on his head and bat gently at one of his antennae.

He had thanked Mona, of course, for the present. He had given her hug. He wasn't prone to such human gestures of affection but Mona had hugged him back, smiled and kissed him. He was really getting used to it. He found himself more and more attracted to her as time went by and he wasn't sure if he wanted to stop. It was an enormous risk with the control brain' spontaneous PAK insertions. He could be found out at any moment, stripped of his rank and possibly executed.

Mona had had no luck so far in tracking her old friend Dawn. For a large group of rebels, they hid themselves well. She and her special group of Elites, including Karo under her command, they had found hints of human inhabitance and evidence of their whereabouts, but no rebels. Things like bits of cloth, empty tin cans and bodily waste were harder to track by than human history made it sound.

No one thought anything of it when several sex cells turned up missing from the smeetery.

Meanwhile...

It was a very, very cold January morning. Since the planet's reconolization, he and Purple had decided to try their hands at sleeping, manually recharging their bodies instead of allowing their PAK programs to. Temporarily disabled, their PAKs could do nothing when their owners decided to sleep.

Red found sleep incredibly boring but strangely relaxing. He awoke that morning in the human month of January to find little Oreo sleeping soundly on his belly, curled into a ball smaller than his two-fingered fist. The little gray ball of fuzz stirred at his movement and opened one bleary dark blue eye. It mewed and hopped off of him, sniffing the air and purring loudly. Used to its antics by now, he got to his feet and hovered over to a low table to feed it. Cats ate "cat food", processed by human exporters and packed into little tin cans. It look, smelled and tasted revolting, but the cats seemed to like it or they wouldn't eat it. He knew it tasted horrible; Purple had tried it on a dare and threw up.

The cat fed, Purple still sleeping (and drooling, he might add) he snuck out of the Irken high rise and breathed in deep. Earth air was remarkably similar to the air on Irk and Irkens could breath without aid of their PAKs. The morning air was cold and clear, crisp and smelled clean. The snow shone bright and the sky was a fresh powder blue and everywhere he looked he saw Irkens relaxing or having snowball fights. The fact that the snow burtned was an added bonus; it added to the excitement. Special boots prevented water from seeping into their clothing.

Dodging a snowball from a nearby Irken civilian, he hovered his way over to Mona's house. Her house was covered in snow and icicles, all except the path leading to her front door. He entered without knocking, as was human custom, and found a silent GIR sitting on the couch, watching some show on TV and Joanna sitting on the floor, drooling in tandem with him. They were grossly fixated on some TV show called "charmed".

"Where's Mona?" he asked. GIR simply pointed one uncaring metal finger towards the hallway leading to the kitchen.

He glided into the other human room to find Mona slumped over the table, head on one arm, hair hanging off the side. Her posture suggested she had fallen asleep like this. Her uniform was ragged and filthy, covered in what appeared to be a combination of dirty snow, mud, leaves and ice. She was much thinner than usual and he frowned slightly. Perhaps the control brain had miscalculated when it made her a Commander?

He gently shook her awake and she jumped, her muscles tensing under his touch. Her eyes startled and huge, she saw it was only him and she relaxed. Her antennae twitched slightly, catching his attention and he saw that one had a small icicle on it. Gently, he broke it off. If there was still ice on her, she must have been out all night and just gotten back in.

"Sorry. We were out all night and I only just got home like an hour ago. I'm... exhausted," she sighed. She did look a bit weary. With no PAK, she needed sleep just as much as the humans did.

She winced as he touched her antennae but relaxed once she knew he wasn't hurting her. She bit her lip and smiled a bit.

"You can't tell me that hurts," he frowned.

"No... I've always been ticklish," she admitted.

He smiled at that and stopped touching her.

"What on Irk are they watching in there?" he asked skeptically, jabbing a finger behind him and raising one eyebrow.

"Charmed. It's Jo's favorite show, not real. Rose McGowan and that other girl died in the invasion, though, so now all they show is reruns," she replied. She yawned, her mouth opening wide, her tongue lolling out and he noticed her tongue was still human, albeit longer.

"You look... not good. You should take a break from patrol duty, let Karo take over for awhile," he said finally, eyeing her dirty uniform and tired eyes.

"Mmm... sure. I think I'm gonna go rest a bit. Tell Jo she can look after GIR while I do, make sure he doesn't blow the place up or something," she mumbled, running a hand through her hair.

Red watched her trudge up the stairs and he frowned again as he felt that whoosh of freezing air once more. This time he was sure he heard it, Zim's voice sounding sad and heartbroken much like he had the day he was executed. Why was he hearing this??

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Zim's true spirit didn't know it but his soul had actually been forced into two parts. The part that was his PAK, his usual personality and thought processes and the soul his true Irken body should have had but was pushed aside to make room for that in the PAK. He had been a defect for a good reason.

This crushed and beaten down side of his innermost soul was more in-touch with what everyone felt. He could tell the strange alien girl was exhausted beyond comprehension, her body wanting nothing more than to simply stop. It made him sad.

He followed her up the stiars and watched nonchalantly as she stripped out of her dirty outfit, showered and reclothed herself in something thick and warm-looking. He shovered; being a spirit, he was always cold. He longed to feel warmth again.

He watched as she climbed into her bed and snugggled under the thick covers. She smiled and closed her eyes. She was asleep instantly.

Satisfied she was fine, he made his way back down the stairs and was disappointed to see the Tallest Red sitting there talking to his fellow tallest using a holo communication channel. He shook his head. He had been trying to both avoid his deranged alter-egoed spirit half and contact these two to warn them about danger coming for weeks now, but to no avail. He could easily sidestep Zim's dominant spirit; that was easy. But Irkens couldn't see him even if they could sense something there. A few human children seemed to see him but he wasn't sure of them yet. He was still leery.

Getting another idea, he took inspiration froom Zim's dominant side and tried focusing on grabbing a pencil and paper. He couldn't do it.

Giving up, he floated gently out the walls and drifted back to the Tallest's apartment. Perhaps if he kept at it, he could contact them. They had lied to Zim before, but regardless they had to be warned. It was what the real Zim would have done.

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I know Im kinda making this up as I go along, but I decided to give Zim a second chance... you'll see what I mean when the story goes further, lol. For now, things are at a standstill. Wow, this is the longest one I've ever written... R&R plz!


	29. Guess who's back

hey, im getting things rolling with this one, and hopefully it'll be a bit less confusing... more of Chi's plan is revealed and, hence the title of this chapter, Zim... well, keep reading andf you'll find out.

thanks to my most loyal reviewers!! tallest blue, grogie13, watergoddesscasey, joschmo, megadoomingir, you guys keep me writing, keep it up!

to everyone else, review or I'll sic GIR on you! You'll neer have another quiet moment, I swear!

again, credit for the idea of irken spore reproduction should go to half dude and sanoon on DA Tallest Chi goes to Megadoomingir

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Zim's dominant spirit worked faster, summoning more and more energy from the machines as he worked. He had to, to be able to touch objects. He was all alone down here for the moment, but that could change at any time at all.

He had hooked himself up to a machine that would allow him to touch things better and much easier. He was in the upper floors of the smeetery building. He had stolen Irken sex cells, those of his (supposed) biological Irken parents. All sex cells and combinations were kept on a huge computer database to avoid acidental inbreeding and Zim had hacked into this. If he was going to have another physical body, he wanted something as close to his old one as possible.

There was the small matter of his old and permanently ruined PAK. He had ordered a special machine to repair ti as best as it could and so far, it wasn't looking good. The recharging cells were bad, the memory drive was practically unharmed and the most basic of life support systems and programming was annihilated. It was useless. He would need a new PAK, too. But he was a spirit for a reason... he had to plan this more thoroughly! HOW to kick the soul out of a new PAK to make room for him, the mighty ZIIIM!!

He finished with the cells that would eventually be his new body and stuck them in an incubation tube for growth. No one would know about this... and best of all, he had a timer on the robot arms so he would know when his new body was done growing.

As a spirit, doing so much physical work was tiring and nigh impossible. With energy from the machines, he had managed it. The timer was set to go off in a week or two. Normally Irken smeets took _months_ to develop fullty, but with his SUPERIOR brainmeats... well, sort of, but invisible or no, they were still superior. He had accelerated the rate of growth for this smeet and soon, he would live again!!

And his "Tallests" would be sorry they ever lied to him or killed him.

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Chi couldn't monitor the unique Irken's spirit, obviously, but she had a general idea of how he was doing things, of course. She was no geneticist by any stretch, but basic, common knowledge around a laboritory was standard training for anyone of her rank.

The fact that Zim had a spirit or a soul at all was miraculous. Irkens typically didn't have them, being cyborgs and parasitic hosts to a mindless PAK. Thanks to their physical bodies, they had emotions and urges, yes, but souls? it was nowhere to be found in any hard drive on Irk. Perhaps they did... maybe there was more to learn from this than she had at first thought?

At any rate, her plan was full speed ahead. She would strike just when the main part of the Armada was feeling at its best. She would strike them just when they felt they were doing the best job possible. She would shatter their dreams along with their bodies.

She got to her feet and hovered over to a computer console. There was a small mirror set above it and she looked up into her own dark green eyes. She frowned slightly. No one had paid it any mind when she had risen to become the Tallest long before Red or Purple, but green was a highly unusual eye color for an Irken female.

No matter. Better to press on with matters at hand.

Her fingers flew over the key console. She was writing a virus to beam down to all computers on Planet Earth's surface. It would affect both human and Irken technology and when she was done with it, would hopefully disable even The Massive.

She need only wait for a signal from Zim to tell her he had a body once more. By that time she would have the perfect soldier. Zim was completely insane and ridiculously lucky. He was invincible. The Armada had waited this long to execute him and they hadn't even done that properly. Yes, Zim would be the perfect one for her side.

She would start this war. And she would win it.

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Meanwhile, Zim's less dominant half was persistantly trying and failing to get the attention of his previous Tallests. He knew his more dominant side was siding with a disgraced Tallest from the past and he didn't like it one bit. The Irken Armada would never fail! Not while he was around.

So far he had tried it all, _everything_ from any human ghost book he could get his transparent hands on. He had tried knocking things around, writing messages with magnets, pushing people, making noises... so far the only thing that had come close to working was when he had flung a piece of popcorn at Purple's face. Purple had just blamed Red. So much for that.

Dammit, as the humans said! Dammit all!

Then it came to him. The girl. Mona. Irken Elite Commander Mona. Maybe she would know how. If he could get _her_ attention.

He floated away as fast as he could.

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One week later...

"This is the life... hey, why didn't we think of this sooner?" demanded Purple.

He and Purple were lounging on the roof of their apartment in two plastic lawnchairs scavenged from some human store. The sun was out, the artifical heating rays inside the invisible dome was heavenly and best of all, since it was invisible, they could see EVERYTHING. The snow reached for miles, the trees were covered in it, the sky was beautiful and far off in the distance, he could see the wolf creatures from Mona's fisrt days on board the Massive.

"_I_ did, Purple. That was why I brought Mona on board the Massive in he first place, remember? To help conquer the place," he insisted. He put on a pair of sunglasses he'd got from the old human city and sighed, settling back further into his chair.

Purple, on the other hand, propped himself up on one arm and gave him a skeptical look.

"Uh huh. Riiiight. I saw you watching her on that newfeed the SIR units sent to the ship. You were attracted to her even when she was human," he accused him.

Red sat up and removed his sunglasses once more. He glared at his fellow Tallest.

"Maybe. What's it to you??" he demanded.

"Hey, I said I'd cover for you and I wasn't lying, I will. The only thing is, she still thinks like a human," said Purple. Red got the feeling he was going to lapse into his extremely rare showcasing of intelligent thought.

"And?" he urged him.

"I think I overheard one of the soldiers saying 87 of everything humans do is related to something to do with sex. Red, you can't-"

"-I KNOW, Pur." he cut him off before he could say anything. Even though Irkens didn't have _working_ reproductive organs, they could still coopulate. It was asking too much, though, to jeapordize his rank in the Armada. He was in love with her, there was no use denying that. He wouldn't have sex with her.

Even as he thought this resolve, he felt the smoothe, flat skin between his legs swell and sweat under his biomech suit, thinking of her face. He ignored it. He fought it down. Eventually, he returned to normal.

Unfortunately his cohort saw his eyes dart to the area in question and he visibly blushed.

"Okay, now _that_'s just disturbing," said Purple, and he quickly looked away and resumed his artificial sunbathing.

Red thought about it some more... No, he wouldn't have sex with her... not only was it forbidden, she wasn't even full Irken... No _way_.

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Zim's dominant spirit surveyed his new Irken body hungrily. It wasn't exactly like his old one... the eyes were more oblong than circular and the antennae were a bit longer, but it was him...ZIM.

He broke the tube himself and before the machines could shock it to life, Zim took a risk and jumped into it.

It was a curious sensation, like being squeezed into a tube and then imploded... being born backwards, a human might say. One moment, he could see all, the next, blackness.

There was a curious humming sensation and he opened his new eyes.

He looked around. He felt things. He looked down. He was naked and covered in artificial amniotic fluid.

He blinked and looked behind him. Brand new PAK, freshly downloaded with all he could remember of his old life.

He was back... alive once more... undefeatable... he... was...ZIM!!

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PLEASE REVIEW!!


	30. Warning

WOOOOOOOO!! 30 Chapters!! My first fic with so many!! HOORAY!

Anyway, am sick with the flu, so this chapter might be wierd...

Anyway, things are getting more complicated now... Zim is back, the soul from his old Irken body is still trying to warn the Tallest and Tallest Chi is almost finished her little computer trick... Please review

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The lesser part of what was once a true soul shivered slightly; something wasn't right.

Zim number 2 looked around, as if hearing something from far away. _I...am...ZIM..._

His more dominant side was now no longer a part of him, so much as he was a mere bi-product of _it_. He was alone now, and in charge of himself. He was no longer a split soul- he was his own soul. It was a strange feeling. Everything Zim never was was in him. Compassion. Care. Intelligence. Logic.

He shook his ghostly head and continued to stare at the Elite Commander. She had her head bent over a piece of paper, her hair sprawled all over her tabletop. They were in her kitchen. GIR was sitting next to her, doodling on the table itself with a crayon and singing happily to himself.

Wait a second... that was it!! The robot!! He could control GIR to warn the Tallest!

As quickly as he could, he opened the top of the unsuspecting robot's head and jumped in, seeping past it's "brain" of paperclip, gumball, monies and screw, and directly into the circuits. He controlled everything now... quickly, he controlled the circuits of the mouth.

"Um... Irken Elite Commander? Miss?" His voice wasn't Zim's, but GIR's. It sounded strange, intelligent thought coming from a typically insane robot.

Mona looked up at GIR's voice. He wasn't smiling. He had dropped the crayon and was no longer doodling. He looked...creepy. Cyan blue eyes wide and emotionless instead of tilted upwards in stupid joy.

"Um... Commander Mona, my name is... was...Zim. Well, not really... it's complicated. I'm what you humans call a ghost," said GIR. Now he just looked sad.

Wait a second... even though it sounded like GIR, her robot, the intelligence was exponentially greater... but Zim? She had heard loads of stories about the infamous defective ex-invader. He had been executed.

So what was he doing controlling GIR?

"What do you mean it's complicated? Why are you posessing my robot?" she asked suspiciously.

GIR coughed, odd for a robot OR a ghost, to be honest and shook his head.

"No one can see me and I couldn't get your attention any other way. Commander, we need to warn Tallest Red and Tallest Purple! I've been trying to warn you for the past two weeks now!"

Mona frowned and sat back in her chair.

"Maybe you should start at the beginning," she said coldly.

GIR's little metal body visibly slumped and whatever was controlling him nodded sadly.

"Maybe I should."

GIR went into a long explanation, a brief story of split personalities and dual souls sharing one being and execution and rejection by his dominant soul. Finally he got to his point.

"The PAK soul Zim created a new body for himself and a new PAK with all his old personality in it. I'm just a ghost now, the spirit from his old physical body. I was never as strong as a PAK soul. Irkens have souls just like humans must, we're just nowhere near as strong. The PAK's beat us down. Anyway, that's not the point! My _point_ is, Zim is in league with a former Tallest, Chi!"

GIR's eyes took on a stressed look and he calmed down a bit.

"Commander Mona, Tallest Chi was Tallest before Red and Purple. She's intelligent... and _evil_. And Zim is going to send her a message right now!! She'll wage war on all of you! You have to warn the Tallests!" he insisted frantically.

Mona got to her feet, startled. What if this Irken ghost posessing GIR was right? Could she trust him? Zim was infamous for being... well, insane, but this version of him seemed to care about the Armada, not himself...

She asked him how long he could keep controlling GIR.

"As long as I need to. He isn't fighting back," he responded.

Odd.

"Okay, come with me. We're going to see the Tallests."

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Red was having fun with his new laser pointer.

Oreo was going crazy trying to catch it, making rather incredible leaps into the air trying to swat it with her sharp claws. She really was a little fighter. She was also adorable.

He seemed to be distracting Purple, however.

"Hey, would you stop it??"

"What, am I... interrupting your snack time?" he asked suavely. Just to emphasize his I-don't-care point, he shot the laser over at him and Oreo leapt onto his head, spilling his popcorn and scratching one of his eyelids.

"YAAH!!"

Chucklng to himself, he shot the laser pointer over at the carpet again and the kitten continued to play.

Suddenly there was a frantic knock at the door.

"Who is it?" called Purple, rubbing his head. He glared angrily at Red. Red stuck his tongue out at him.

The doors slid open and Mona walked in with her broken SIR unit. Unlike normal, GIR simply walked, no singing, no prancing, no dancing... just obedient, blue-eyed SIR unit.

"Oh, hi Mona! I was just playing with my neat little laser pointer," said Red, and to prove another point, he began shooting it around the floor once more.

"Cute. You know, if you don't give it a rest at least every now and then, you could exhause Oreo to the point of death?" she suggested.

Red snapped the laser pointer off. The little gray and white kitten did appear to be tired. He had to remember she wasn't a robot.

"What is it?" asked Purple grumpily. There was a thin green scratch above his left eye. It wasn't bleeding but he was taking it as a personal offense against the kitten.

"Permission to speak, sirs?"

Everyone stared at the little robot. He was saluting obediently, his eyes still blue.

"Uuuh... sure," said Red.

"Thank you. My Tallests, Zim has found a new body! He's going to notify Tallest Chi! My tallests, you must do something before she destroys Earth!"

Tallest Red and Purple looked blankly at one another. Wasn't GIR usually... more stupid than this?

"Start at the beginning again, Zim," said Mona. GIR looked up at her, then at Red, then back to her again. He sighed. And started back at the beginning, starting with the strange fact that all Irken bodies had souls before a PAK went on. The PAK introduced a new personality, and therefor a new soul. He, the one controlling GIR, was the soul from Zim's old body, the one that was destroyed.

"Okaaaaay," said Purple. He was munching obsessively on his popcorn.

Then he went off to explain what had happened after Zim had been executed. Apparently, this body soul Zim was everything his PAK was never. Intelligent, logical and caring. It was odd.

Then he warned them about Chi. Red shuddered. He had always been afraid of her in the Elite Academy on Devastis. She was crazy.

But she had become Tallest before he or Purple. She was forced to step down once he and Purple outgrew her. She was a mere three inches shorter than them.

"So Zim's PAK has a new body..." summed Purple.

"No, sirs, Zim has a new PAK _and_ body, and it's just like the old one. Only... I'm not there to make him think twice about hurting people," the other Zim confessed sadly.

"So you're saying... Zim is back and not only that, he's in league with Chi?! That's HORRIBLE!!" screamed Purple.

"I know..." said GIR quietly.

"What did you say she was going to do, again? Destroy Earth?" asked Red, frowning at the now- panicky Purple.

"Sirs, as soon as Zim gives the word, Chi is going to do... SOMETHING to weaken the Armada. You might not be able to fight back, sirs," said GIR.

Red frowned and looked up into the sky outside. It was a clear, coudless day in January. It was getting closer to February.

"Where is she hiding?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess she's in orbit around Earth, but her ship must have radar cloaking on it," confessed robot-GIR-Zim.

It figured. Not only was she mean and intelligent, she also had connections. Not just to high tech devices but to the most rotten anti-Armada groups on all of Irk. Like the I.R.K. Irken Rebel Klan. It was a strange way to spell "clan" but he guessed the rebels had been trying to make an anagram for Irk.

No matter. The I.R.K. was finished.

So Chi was in orbit, planning the Armada's downfall as soon as Zim got to her, and here he and Purple sat, munching on popcorn and chips, unawares... he would not let himself become the Talles that sat around while the Armada was destroyed.

What to do, what to do...

"If I knew her coordinates, I could write a virus," suggested robot-Zim-GIR helpfully.

"Maybe..." muttered Purple, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Karo tells us she and the troops have found Dawn's little renegade group someplace near one of the great lakes. If you can round them up to get them out of the way and off everyone's minds, that'd be great. Then we can have your Elites back in time to join the Armada and fight. We'll need to call in more troops, just to be sure..." Red was thinking out loud.

"Done and done. I'll have Karo help me, too. We'll have Dawn's group rounded up in no time, I swear. I'd hate for the Armada to be destroyed," said Mona. She smiled at Red and he smiled back. No one noticed GIR give them both an odd "oh, brother" look.

"That'd be great... then when Chi thinks to move against us, we'll be ready for her," said Red. GIR saluted once more and he swore he saw something whoosh out of his open mouth. GIR grinned happily and smiled at them all. He was back. And once more insane.

A burst of cold air whooshed past them all, bombarding both his and Purple's antennae and ruffling Mona's hair. He guessed Zim was still there.

"Why don't you get moving on Dawn, Mona. Report back to us using your holo-communicator if you have to. The troops will show you how to use stealth ships. We have planning of our own to do," said Red. Mona nodded and, grabbed her demented SIR unit by the arm, and walked out of the room.

Red and Purple looked at one another.

"So much for a vacation."

They hovered into the next room, leaving Zim's spirit all alone once more. He smiled to himself when he heard Purple's whining.

"WHY can't Zim ever STAY dead?!"

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PLEASE REVEIW!!


	31. The war for Earth begins

Okay, this is gonna be a BIG chapter. I mean BIIIIIIIG. And you all better review or I'll sic my best mate on you. She bites. Hard. Especially per command, heeheehee.

Anyway, the cards are down, the gig is up and the war is about to begin...

And you may not know it, because personal security is a good thing, but I'm throwing a cameo in here of one of my biggest readers! Bet ya can't spot them!

Also, there might be some character death and if anyone who knows me personally is reading this, it isn't a secret wanting for Dawn to die. I love her, really I do. It just suits the needs of the storyline. So no crying!

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Tallest Chi leaned back in her seat and began mentally ticking off the things she would instate once she got control over the pretty marble planet beneath her. Enforce major rule changes with the human slaves... stop humans breeding alltogether. Apparently, there was still some human breeding going on. Maybe she'd stomp out that brat hybrid freak while she was at it. According to Zim the last and first time she had spoken to him, that girl had a special place out of rank next to the Tallest Red and Purple. What she said, went. She would definitely have to go.

As for the current Tallests, she would probably let them both live. Split them up, so neither one had a clue what to do... perhaps she should create a forced breeding program for the irkens and humans, just to see if inter-species breeding was possible. Nothing serious... just a remedy for boredom.

One of the on-ship soldiers entered the control room and waited for permission to address her.

"Go ahead, Zanna," she said lazily.

The willowy, blue-eyed soldier stepped into the room. For some reason, lately especially, Irkens had begun bending their antennae and changing their eye colors on purpose... a streak of spontonaeity that was unbecoming but so far not illegal.

Her actual name was Zannakorsonoski.

For obvious reasons, her superior shortened it to Zanna.

"My Tallest, there's an incoming transmission from Earth," she announced nervously. She knew better than to sound authorative around Chi. She had a temper like no one else on board.

Chi waved one two-fingered hand, dismissing her. Nervously, she edged her way out of the room.

Chi pressed a button that brought incoming transmissions from the communications room straight to the control room. An unfamiliar Irken face appeared onscreen, looking haughty but cautious.

"Ex-Invader Zim, reporting, Tallest Chi. As you can see, I've been reborn," said the Irken. He looked down at himself and smiled, as if reassuring himself that he still existed.

"Obviously. Are things ready to commence?" she asked. As she spoke, another Irken on the ship brought in a tray of snacks and cola. She permitted the drone to have a single donut and then dismissed them.

"My Tallest, things couldn't be better conditioned. Red and Purple are at ease and that science experiment _FILTHY _is no challenge. She has my old, broken SIR unit, GIR, but he's no help," said Zim's new body.

Chi nodded lazily and munched on her snacks, listening.

"Perfect, Zim. Stand by and remain unseen by all, do you understand? That is your first order of command. Do. Not. Be. Seen," said Chi coldly, looking him straight in the eye.

Zim saluted and he severed the call.

Chi sat up straighter and called up the multi-computerlink virus she had created earlier. She channeled it directly towards the planet below her.

She pushed the big red button.

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It was a normal end-of-January- morning and Mona had been awake and alert since the dead hours of daybreak. Her legs and ankl;es were covered in dewdrops and mud and her troops were faring no better. They were all used to it by now, having been searching like this for weeks now. No one complained.

They couldn't use the stealth hovers until they got to more open areas. Once they got to Lake Michigan, a p lace they liked to frequent, Mona had noticed, the plan was to round them all up and use brutal scare tactics to herd them onto a larger holding ship. What would happen to them afterwards was up to the Tallests.

Dawn would be imprisoned.

For now, however, they had to make it to the clearing holding their stealth hovers first. There was room to each stealth hover for about three Irken soldiers. Mona was currently leading two dozen. Karo would be closing in on the other side of the rebels to trap them and she would be leading three dozen.

"How much farther is it?"

Mona stopped them all with one outstretched arm and she turned to face them all. She didn't blame them for their impatience. They had been tracking Dawn and her rebels for weeks and this was their first break.

They were all covered in bramble scratches and mud and soaked from the hips down from snow and slush. They were already tired. But endurance was one test all Elites had to pass on Devastis, or so she'd heard. They could keep going.

"Hopefully not much further. Come on," she replied, and she kept leading them.

Five minutes later, they came to the clearing. Karo had already been here. Her group were already astrid their hovercrafts, waiting patiently for Mona's group. They would close in on both sides of the lake and corner Dawn's group, having eleven of Karo's group corner from the side facing the city. The plan was to either make them swim then shoot them in the water or simply imprison them and form a diamond shape around them, herding them towards the holding ship cowboy-style.

Mona was hoping she wouldn't have to kill anyone. She had her hi-tech alien laser gun on her utility belt, along with the hi powered alien mace. Karo had shown her how to use both and she was a dead shot.

She made sure there were enough hovercrafts available to her group and waited for her passengers to get on behind her. Both were male and both were looking particularly grim-faced.

"Why the long faces," she asked blandly.

"We're just achy. We'll be better once we get to the lakefront," said the taller one. No one said another word.

Karo and her group split up, the lesser half to be led by a temporary second-in-command. Karo and her troops went around to the right, the second group continued straight on and Mona led her group to the left. Paths had already been cleared out by the foot traffic of the rebels so they advanced quite undetected.

It took them only a few minutes to reach the scattered cabins that Dawn's rebel group had constructed out of woodblocks. As soon as they left, they tore everything down to hide their presence. For the moment, no one was outside.

Karo's two groups came out of the trees beside them. They had the entire camp surrounded. Mona dismounted the hovercraft, as did Karo and her second-in-command.

"COME OUT WITH EMPTY HANDS! WE HAVE THIS PLACE SURROUNDED!"

Karo was using a special tool that amplied her voice. It resembled a metal pencil.

Slowly, people started to come out of the roughly made cabins. Men, women, children, most young, a few who were old enough to tell stories about life back in the 50's. Last to emerge was Dawn herself, face buried in a powder blue ski parka.

"We don't want to shoot anyone, Dawn. Just come with us," said Mona tentatively but firmly.

Dawn shot her a dirty look and shook her head.

"You remember what I said about fighting back! This is OUR planet! We won't be slaves for a lesser cause!" called Dawn in a voice Mona had never heard her use. It was commanding.

The people all pulled knives and sawed off shotguns from behind their backs.

Immediately, Mona gave the order for her troops to pull their own weapons, which ranged from laser guns and mace to whatever personalized weapons her soldiers had in their PAKs.

Karo fired a warning shot that knocked a shotgun out of a young boy's hands. He jumped, scared witless, and immediately surrendered. He couldn't have been older than 14.

She leveled her own laser gun at Dawn herself. Dawn didn't flinch. Shje leveled her own shotgun at Mona herself. She hated being put in this position. But she had chosen the Armada over her own inferior, weak species. Some of them were her friends, but most of them had fucked up evolution-wise.

It was time to choose her side indefinately. Would she choose the aliens or turn on whom she considered a friend?

She was given no choice. A gunshot rang out and the soldier beside her doubled over and clutched his gut. Dark green blood oozed between his splayed fingers and Mona saw organs.

She fired and a teenage girl's head was incinerated in a second. Her headless body collapsed to the ground.

Pretty soon, shots were being traded on both sides. For every bullet that whizzed past her head, she fired indiscriminately at the humans, killing most, maiming others. Wherever she could, she simply incinerated gun-wielding hands, but most of the soldiers were aiming to kill.

She fired at an older woman holding a handgun with a pearl grip and she shot the woman in the gut. A hole the size of a car was opened up in her many folds of fat and she died. Within seconds the snow had gone from a dirty white to bloody scarlet and green. The humans were losing. Mona gave Karo a look and they both signaled to the Elite to stop shooting.

"ENOUGH!!" Mona made use of her animal growly voice and the shooting stopped. Out of the rough 1000 humans Dawn had managed to rally, she only had a couple hundred left. Dead bodies lay all around and others had been reduced to nothing but dust. Several Irkens lay dead or dying and Mona got angry. They hadn't needed to escalate to violence. This had been their choice from the start.

In a surprise move that startled even herself, she raised her gun and fired a single shot. She kept her finger on the trigger and in five sconds obliterated an entire line of standing humans. All were reduced to ash.

"We came intending no violence. You brought this on yourselves. Give up for once in your lives and come with us or we'll shoot you all like dogs!!" Mona screamed at them.

She didn't know why she was suddenly furious. Maybe it was the fact that these were people with backbones willing to fight for their lives. It didn't make her feel any better to realize she was acting like a spoiled child who had been denied a toy. She hated people who stood up to her.

Gods, she was no better than a schoolyard bully.

Dejected, the humans dropped their weapons. Karo instructed her second group of Elites to form a diamond shape around the humans, a moving corral, so to speak. Mona finished the shape and they slowly herded the human's rebel group towards a waiting containment ship.

She made herself pay no attention to her "fellow" humans. She was disgusted with herself. She had shot that line of a dozen or more humans simply because she had been furious at their stubbornness. ALL they'd had to do was LISTEN! Why did they always have to FIGHT?? It only ended in death anyway!

Grimacing, she helped a wounded soldier hobble. The hovercrafts had been shot up and abandoned. Perhaps a search party could be sent out later to collect the wreckage and the dead. But not now.

"I'm sorry," she told the wounded Elite. It was a female about her height with a gaping hole in one of her legs.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Commander. You gave them the chance to give up peacefully. They refused. Nothing to be sorry for," she said, speaking haltingly as she tried to contain her pain.

They came up to the containment ship and the topmost line of Elites herded the humans on board. Waiting Slavedrivers eager to torture waited for them.

Only when they were all lifted out did Mona call up Tallest Red on her holo communicator.

"We need some sort of medic transport out here. THey fought us and there's a lot of people hurt," she said. Red nodded and severed the call.

Karo approached her and helped her set the wounded female down. They all sat and took a break. Despite the cold snow and melting water, they ALL sat. Irken uniforms had been modified with a water proof material since the snow started falling. Waterproofing was mandatory for all but Mona now.

Mona left the wounded girl's side to help Karo total the damage.Out of hundreds of humans killed, over a dozen Irkens were hurt. Several were dead, left by the lakeside. They had started out with as many soldiers as they could without being obvious, about 60 or 65. After a headcount, they only had 50. At least ten soldiers were dead. More than a dozen were injured, either by knives or by bullets.

She helped Karo and the un-wounded Irkens bandage up the bleeding ones as best they could until a medic arrived with a transport ship. When it finally did arrive, Kato hopped out.

"Hello, Commander. Glad to see it's not you I have to patch up. Last time was a nightmare," he said by way of greeting. Karo nodded and helped Mona lift up the female who couldn't walk.

Once all the wounded were on board, however, there was a problem.

"What is it?"

"Computer! I said go to minmal speed!"

The pilot of the medi ship was frustrated.

"What is it?" she repeated.

The medi pilot turned to her and shook his head.

"The computer isn't responding. All systems are shut down. I'll have to fly this thing manually. Go back and let the others know, please?" he asked.

She did as she was told. The news did not sit well with either Karo or Kato. Karo sighed and rubbed her antennae in an expression of what Mona figured was nexhaustion; Kato groaned and began fiddling with his patient's wires.

"If the computers are down, then so are the nanomites. I won't be able to close every wound perfectly," he complained.

The ship jolted unpleasantly and they began to move.

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Fifteen minutes after they sent out Kato and the medi transport, Red tried getting donuts from the computer's food console. On The Massive, it connected directly with the kitchen. The computer refused to respond.

"What the-? Why on Irk..." he muttered.

He pressed the food button again. The computer made a mechanical whirring noise, jammed, and refused to work.

"Hey, Red, the house computer isn't working!"

Red looked over and saw Purple attempting to control their apartment's computer from the ship, but the computer wasn't working there, either.

Hmmm... didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out.

He called up Mona on his holo-caller. She responded looking annoyed.

"Hey, all the computer systems on The Massive are jammed for some reason," he began.

"Yeah? The pilot is flying this _tank_ manually because the computers on the ship aren't working here, either, so join the club," she replied.

"Are systems down everywhere??' Purple demanded, pressing his face up against Red's so they were both visible on Mona's screen. Red glared at him.

"Computer viruses were always Chi's specialty. She's coming," he said darkly.

Visible through the window of the Massive was a ship not quite as big but just as foreboding. Black and spiked, the main engines swept back to form a traingle around them while the bridge was visible as a ramp leading to the larger rooms on board. It was a very heavily modified Vort ship.

"What? What is it?" Mona demanded. She couldn't see what they did. Red swept his arm towards the window. Then she did.

"I guess the war for Earth has officially begun?"

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dun dun DUUUN!! IT'S BEGUN! please review!!


	32. Now or never

Hey, I'm changing the rating of this to M because of all the violence and a LOT of very fluffy fluff in this chapter in particular.

With the war beginning around them, Red decides enough is enough. He'll tell Mona how he feels if it's the last thing he does...

and it just might be.

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Red and Purple watched, almost helplessly, as the modified Vort ship landed and powered up its laser turrets. The weapons fired and in an instant, destroyed the front line of troops that had taken aim at its intrudence.

"Where is Mona?" Red wondered aloud.

Watching below them, the Elite troops still alive were firing ceaselessly at the Vort ship. They were fighting valiantly, but they would lose.

"We have to call them back," Red said dully.

Purple hovered to the porthole in the side of the Massive and stuck his head ou t.

"ELITES!! RETREAT!! HIDE!! LIVE NOW, FIGHT LATER!!"

One by one, the soldiers stopped firing and started running. Their Elite Commander, however, stayed and continued trading shots with the Vort ship. He was losing fast. Eventually, he grew too tired to run any more and he collapsed. The Vort ship shot him anyway.

Red looked away, towards the direction of the treeline outside. Somewhere out there were wounded and unwounded Elites, and Mona. They hadn't been prepared enough this soon. He had to admit even to himself that Chi had planned this all perfectly. Zim's warning had come too late.

A gentle chill breeze ruffled his antennae and he stiffened. Was Zim's gentle spirit still here?

_"...With you all the way..."_

It had only been a whisper, but he had definitely heard it.

He exchanged a panicked look with Purple, and at that moment every single Irken on board the Massive crowded into the room they were in. The communications officers, Rarl Kove, even the Tallest's security guards. Every one of them looked panicked.

"My Tallests, what now?" asked Rarl obediently.

Red began to think a moment. He had been Tallest with Purple now for half an Irken year, about five Earth years. They had made it this far due to snack-invoked motivation, authority and sheer luck. It was time to BE a tallest, not simply LOOK like one. What would Mona do in this kind of situation?

"Lemme see! LemME see!! Tallesssst! TAALLLEEEST!!"

Everyone looked around to see GIR standing at the back of the crowd, looking worried.

"Hii!!" he waved enthusiastically.

Suddenly, his eyes flashed dark, dull gray, and when he was reactivated, he spoke in the calm, intelligent way he had when Zim had been controlling him.

"My Tallest, Elite Commanders Mona and Karo are on the edge of the woods with the human containment ship and the medical transport. What are your orders?"

Everyone was silent.

Red thought fast.

"Uh...Have the not-wounded ones provide a distraction so everyone else can come to the Massive. Have them all gather in the central pod room, and uh... have Commander Mona meet me and Purple in the interrogation room," he suggested. Actually, he was planning on a full take-over by Chi and her thugs. The Armada was as good as fallen. Damned if he was going to let everyone die around him without ever having told Mona he was sorry. For everything, including expecting her to betray her entire planet. If it wasn't for him and his initial curiosity, this human city would still be human.

And the war would not have come.

GIR-Zim nodded and suddenly GIR was simply GIR.

"Anyone got any of them taquitooos??"

A nearby communications officer deactivated the little robot temporarily and handed him to Purple. Purple cradled the thing like it was a smeet. He looked at Red inquisitively.

"Save it. Mona will want it back," he muttered. Purple nodded and stowed it in an underhand compartment.

Suddenly Red remembered Maize. She had finished basic training and schooling and last he knew was freelancing as a civilian/military on-call. With her crooked antennae and human bits of hair, she was obviously not full Irken and so had more freedom to do as she liked, so long as she bothered no one.

Mona hadn't wanted a child, and truth be told, neither had he, but Maize existed and Mona had taken a liking to her as a friend over the week she had stayed with her. If he didn't at least try to protect her and GIR and Joanna, the things that mattered most to Mona, she would kill him.

"Can someone go to the house next to the ship and get everything living and bring it here," he commanded.

Moments later, they were all joined by Joanna, who looked scared and nervous, who was holding the cat from the Massive's service tunnel several months ago. Those days when Mona had been human and a stranger seemed distant and far away.

"What's going on? Where;s Mona?" demanded Joanna. She was wearing black pants and a black shirt with the words "I reject your reality and substitute my own".

Red pointed outside and everyone pressed their faces up against the port view windows.

Out of the trees, straight from Armageddon, stepped the Elites and medical transport, followed by the human containment ship. They were all being led by Mona. Even at a distance, she had a steely look in her eyes that said she was pissed and in no mood for unwanted invadrs like Chi and her Vort ship.

Without looking around, Mona unholstered her laser gun and fired a shot at the ship. Her hand jerked from the recoil but she did not drop it.

Her aim, though she hadn't really aimed at all, had hit home anyway. She had hit one of the Vort ship's laser turrets and it exploded. The Elites who could cheered and the Communications officers on board the Massive "oooh" 'd in appreciation.

Zim's spirit had obviously passed on Red's message because as soon as the wounded and everyone else burst from the snow-covered trees, covered in blood both green and red, the not wounded ones began firing indiscriminately at the Vort ship. Its shields went up and shots began bouncing off.

"Come on, Mona..." Red muttered under his breath. Purple put a hand on his shoulder.

They were halfway to the Massive but the Vort ship's guns were turning...

"Run!" Purple urged them.

Mona looked up and saw them all pressed against the glass. In the midst of battle, she threw her head back and appeared to laugh.

She turned and said something to her weary troops and as fast as they could, they began to run.

The Elites who had been providing the distraction began running as well and Red punched a button that would electronically open the outer hatch.

The Vort ship stopped firing the minute the containment ship and the medical transport stopped on the other side of Mona's house. It seemed to give the troops a chance to get on board the Massive.

Red knew it was what Chi wanted or she would have killed Mona's entire crew the moment they'd stepped foot in the open. They were doomed and he knew it.

There were noises from elsewhere inside the ship and Purple told the Irkens around them to get moving and help the new arrivals. The room slowly cleared and Red motioned to Purple to follow him to the interrogation room.

It was exactly as it had been the day Mona had begun showing them all the lovely visions of planet Earth; dimly lit, if lit at all, with a huge bank of several minifeed TV's, at the moment dark and unused. He took a chair at the table and slulmped, sighing wearily. All his hard work in life to become tallest, ended so suddenly by a stupid mistake at the hands of an old enemy... it seemed pointless.

Purple sat opposite him, for once speechless and not begging for donuts.

"After you finish talking with her, you know, if you want to say goodbye before Chi does whatever she has in mind... I'll leave and take control of things elsewhere..." offered Purple.

Red got the feeling Purple meant something other than a simple goodbye. Nevertheless, Red was appreciative.

Moments later, Mona strode into the room, her stride confident but her face tired, the loose utility belt round her wast and hip jingling with every shift of muscle.

She took a seat next to Red and put her head in her hands. She began to tremble. Red put a hand on her shoulder and felt her skin beneath the flimsy, semi-transparent sleeve of her uniform. It was hot. All of a sudden he wanted nothing more than to touch her and feel that heat all over. What was wrong with him??

Purple snickered and Red glared at him. His emotions must have shown all over his face.

_Come on, get a grip on yourself, Meckle. Irkens aren't supposed to..._

"I should go get control over the wounded and... y'know, stuff. TO THE DONUTS!" exclaimed Purple, and he snuck Red a wink before running out of the room.

Mona gave Red a skeptical look and put her head on her arms once more. She sighed.

"You had to kill people," he guessed.

Mona lifted her head and looked at him with her clear, light blue eyes. Even though they were no longer human and had no pupil, he could see by what light there was reflected that she was searching his face.

"Yeah. I... I just didn't expect to have to come that close to Dawn. You know, she was my friend," said Mona. She looked so sad.

She went to lay her head back down again, but he took her forearms, popped the wrist bands off so they were less bulky and laid her head against the chest of his biomech suit instead.

She was stiff at first, but Red had seen enough of human affection before the Armada's invasion to know what he was doing.

"What are you doing," she said dully.

Red put a hand on her back and she relaxed quite a lot. Her weight was heavy and unfamiliar against him but comforting for some reason.

She looked up at him and their faces were inches apart. She made the first ove. With her lips slightly parted enough to breath, she kissed him.

He tasted salt in what was probably sweat and inhaled the smell of flowers and something spicy and eccentric but absolutely fantastic... it was in her hair and it was making him absolutely wild. He grabbed her by the upper arms without knowing why, exactly (Irkens weren't supposed to have sex and so, he, like most of them, never had) pulled her closer to him. After kissing her for a minute straight, even that wasn't enough.

She pulled away from him for a moment, pink in the face and breathing heavily. Was she okay?

"My tallest..." she began. Red made an indignant noise and hugged her closer.

"It's Red, now and all the time in the future, or I strip your rank, control brain be damned," he instructed.

She smiled, as he knew she would. Using human expressions like "be damned" made no sense to him, personally, but it seemed to put the humans at ease around them.

"Fine, then... _Red_. Is this... allowed for a tallest?" she asked. She was still sitting in her chair, but it had been scooted closer to his when he pulled her to him.

Red laughed nervously.

"Not allowed for _any_ Irken of any rank! In fact, I could be executed... but I..." he paused here. He had worked his entire life... his _entire life_... to get to where he was now... and he would give it up for her... or would he?

The moment he had pulled her to him, he had felt the smooth skin of his waist go stiff and start to swell slightly. Irkens didn't have penises like humans and most other male species on earth; just small patches of skin that swelled slightly. His was swollen, alright. He could stop this right here and keep his rank... or...

To use a human phrase, to hell with it.

He grabbed her and smushed their faces together again. The shift of weight tipped his chair over and they both fell on the floor, her on top of him. He didn't care about anything right then, not even his dislike for tongue. He snaked his inside her mouth and over her lips. Her skin was the softest thing in the world right then, the scent of her hair, like crushed fruit and flowers, the warmth of her skin... it was intoxicating! It was making him dizzy, so he closed his eyes.

And she _still_ wasn't close enough...

She solved that problem literally by accident. Her fall had hit a hidden button on the side of his suit and it opened down the middle and popped off his chest like a plastic gumball. He was barechested and completely naked save for his PAK. He grabbed her forearms again and rolled her off of him, to get away from his outfit. He didn't care that he was completely naked, he didn't care that he could lose his rank and be executed, he didn't care... he was Tallest Red and he was in love with Mona Marshalls and that was all that existed right then.

"Re-mmph! hahaha, Red,-"

He smothered her words with his tongue just to be evil and she responded by choking. He eased up a bit and she attacked his mouth. There was nothing like this, holding her strong, warm body against his very flesh... he wanted that heat, without his biomech suit he was pretty cold. It was cold outside.

And if he didn't tell her how he felt now, he might never get to. It was now or never.

"I've been in love with you... since before you started mutating," he panted. He was laying on top of her, his long, skinny legs folded underneath him, his hips settled around her knees. Her chest was heaving up and down and he could see the outline of her ribcage through her uniform. Said uniform was wet and dirty and freezing cold. He helped her pull it off and she shivered violently, shuddering beneath him. He felt her... and he wanted her.

Her skin was still human colored but unnaturally pale with a green-ish tinge... but so light one almost couldn't see it. She was getting covered in little skin pimples from the sudden temperature change, from clothes to unclothed.

She grabbed him around the chest and pulled him down on top of her. She pushed his face down onto hers and there was the heat again, rising off her body in waves, engulfing him, making him lightheaded...

"How do you do it?" she asked him breathlessly.

He didn't understand her question. She repeated it and jerked her hips upward, not quite lifting him up. His squeedilyspooch lurched and he got it.

He got within centimeters of her face and smiled and he wasn't sure exactly how humans did it or even if her sex organs were more human or Irken... it was better than nothing.

She fumbled with something underneath him and all he felt beneath his legs was warm skin. Alright then.

They kissed once more before he layed himself flatter against her and felt hard muscle and heat and flesh... he felt more than he had ever felt in his life as the multitude of semi-microscopic protrusions on his sex organ expanded and swelled harder than ever... he felt her swell beneath him and also, somethign wet and extremely hot... he felt dizzy as he kissed her more forcefully. She began rotating her hips beneath him, grinding them into him. He moaned lightly and smirked to himself. Mona. Moan. Moany, her friend had called her before. She was certainly living up to it now.

She wrapped her arms all the way around his chest and rubbed her cheek against the side of his face. Her skin was warmer than ever and he felt himself sweating.

"Did you.. were serious when you said you loved me," she panted very fast. Even as they made love Irken-style, she was searching his face with her eyes. They were beautiful, everything about her in that moment was beautiful.

He pressed his hips into hers extra-hard and replied with a kiss.

"I... always daydreamed... about you... so I guess... I loved you at times too," she admitted.

It was the best news _he'd_ had all day.

They kept at it for what felt like hours but was probably only fifteen minutes Earth time until he felt the spores pour forth from his own body. _His _reproductive organs still worked... it was the female Ikren's incapability to house children that made the Irken race sterile, which was why they cloned... but Mona was an unknown.

At ay rate, Irken spores were semi-liquid but very much resembled plant spores here on Earth so it cleaned up easily.

Neither one of them looked at each other as they redressed themselves but once they looked halfway presentable, he smiled at her. He may be stripped of his rank by Chi or whoever and executed, but it was well worth it.

It was the last time he saw her before Chi's own personal army came and took him away.

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PLEASE REVIEW!!

Oooooooo Red finally got down and steamy with her, MWAHAHAHHA.


	33. Ripped apart

Hey, I'm sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen, I give you chapter 33!! Woooo!!

Red and Mona just got done being all steamy in the interrogation room, but the fun is about to end. Fast.

PLEASE REVIEW!!

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They found Purple in the sick bay of The Massive, surrounded on all sides by wounded soldiers. Mona spotted one of her soldiers and went over to the female's bedside. Purple approached him and pulled something off of his shoulder.

It was a single, long dark hair, almost too thin to see. Purple was smirking at him.

"Let's hope the control brains don't probe your PAK," he muttered.

Red muttered something about not if he could help it.

"My tallest, what do we do now? That Vort ship is too well protected and even though there are a lot of us, I'm sure whoever's on it has a lot more," said one panicked Elite.

"Who is it? On that Vort ship?"

"What do they want?"

Red held up a hand for silence and Purple yelled, "SHUT UUUUP!"

They were all quiet.

"It's Tallest Chi on that Vort ship and she has Zim on her side now. Apparently he got another body," he announced.

Nearly every jaw except Mona's dropped and more than a few eyes were twitching.

"WE'RE DOOMED!!"

Mona laughed nervously at the random outburst from the female Elite beside her. Elite Ria according to the chart at the foot of her cot. Red glared coyly at her.

"As I was saying. She's probably plotting ways to disembowel us and take control of the Armada or... something. Point is, she probably doesn't have a lot of soldiers and-"

"-Wait."

Everyone turned to Mona, waiting to see why she'd interrupted him. He waved at her to go on.

"She wouldn't be attacking us if she had fewer soldiers and no backup," she said.

There was a murmer of general assent. She had a good point.

"Okay, well, we can't panick like the humans did. I mean look what happened to them," Purple pointed out.

Suddenly, there was a floor-shaking BANG. The room rocked and soldiers fell out of their beds.

"INTRUDER. ALERT. INTRUDER. ALERT. INITIATING SECURITY PROGRAM." said a robotic voice.

Everyone instinctively huddled closer together and those who could slowly drew their weapons. Mona and Karo were among them and even Kato glared at the sounds coming from outside and drew a long-bladed knife. The head medic looked quite deranged holding a knife as a weapon.

"SECURITY. SYSTEMS. DEACTIVATING."

"She got past the security systems?!" Red exclaimed.

"We're doomed!!" Purple exclaimed.

"MY TAALLEEEEEEEST!!"

No one had trouble recognizing _that_ voice.

It was Zim. And he sounded happy. TOO happy.

He soon appeared but he wasn't alone. Sevral hardened-looking soldiers behind him looked ready and willing to tear limbs off. They wore a strange uniform, all in varying shades of blue and holding short metal rods. One soldier pressed a button and both ends of the rod doubled in length and both grew four wicked barbs. They were modified shock prods.

So this was Chi's army... how would the Armada hold up?

"ZIM," said Red and Purple in unusion.

Zim stood before them. He didn't look quite the same as before he was executed; his eyes were different and he was a little taller and slimmer, but the look on his face told them it would be dumb to think he was anoyone else. It was definitely Zim.

Mona stepped up to stand beside the Tallest. There was a look of cold, hard fury in her light blue eyes that Red was a little afraid to see. That look meant that she had nothing but pure, dark hatred on her mind and in her heart. She didn't even know this evil insane version of Zim. She already hated him.

"It's me. I work for a different tallest now. Chi is a lot smarter than _you_ were to trust the mighty ZIIIIM! She trusts him with her most dark secrets for this _FILTHY _ball of DIRT!" Zim growled.

"GET THEM!"

The order came from nowhere and from an unexpected source; Zim himself. Everyone knew he was bossy; no one had been crazy enough to give him authority.

The soldiers in blue stormed forward and started grabbing the unwounded by the arms, disarming their weapons and stunning their PAKs with their shock sticks. Red and Purple grabbed ray guns from the nearest table and began fighting back as best they could.

One soldier poked him in the eye; he retaliated by jamming the ray gun into the soldier's neck and pulling the trigger. His head fell off and Red was engulfed in green blood, from antennae to shoulders.

"I can't hold them-OW!off! OW!" Purple was screaming even as he was shocked repeatedly with the shock sticks.

There was an ear piercing, throaty shriek and they both looked around to see Mona fighting back like a cat on crack, her hair flashing like dark fire, her eyes reduced to evil slits, her fists flying. She was dealing as much damage as she could but was bleeding from several bad wounds. Her blood wasn't red anymore; it was an odd shade of darkest green-black. Something like what you would get if you mixed red and green together.

She had Zim pinned to a wall when a mechanical claw from his PAK shot out and jammed itself through Mona's stomach. Her eyes went wide and she screamed again, this one rising in volume. Red, frozen in shock, stared, blood that was not his dripping sickeningly into his open mouth. He didn't care.

Zim, grinning triumphantly, withdrew his claw and stuck his tongue out at Red.

He glared. This was the last straw.

He threw his ray gun aside and charged through the air at Zim and his new body.

Zim's eyes went wide and he ducked and rolled out of the way. Red hit the wall painfully and he suddenly had four blue-clad soldiers on him, binding his arms and disabling his hover belts so he couldn't fly. Someone else disabled his PAK so he couldn't fight.

Something similar was happening to Purple. He swallowed nervously as one of the soldiers got too close to his neck with their barbed shock sticks.

Mona was still not restrained. Having no PAK, no one could shut her down and she was too fast and too furious for anyone to come close to touching her. Her friend Joanna was also fighting although faring rather badly; bright red blood poured from a wound in her neck and on her arms and her shirt had been shredded. She was every bit as enraged as her friend.

"ENOUGH!! Sieze them!!" Zim commanded.

In the end it took five soldiers to restrain Joanna and six of them to restrain Mona, who was still attempting to bite the hand of the soldier who had his hand clapped over her mouth. She had a dark blue bruise forming around one large, blue eye and her hair had been singed down one side by a grazing laser beam; it was now uneven. She was glaring lividly at Zim and her chest was heaving. She was out of breath.

In that moment Red knew he'd fallen in love with a fighter... and a leader. She was perfect.

Very soon, Chi herself glided into the room. There was Irken and Human blood everywhere, but her feet didn't touch. Her cool, dark green gaze slid over the various wounded and the very few who had died in the battle for freedom and her gaze settled on Mona. She smiled graciously, but Red knew better; that smile was poisonous.

"The little hybrid alien, Mona! Finally we meet!" she said sweetly. She reached out one long claw and gently stroked the side of Mona's face with it. Mona shook her captor's hand off her and promptly sunk her teeth into Chi's finger.

"OW!! You little-!" Chi lost all fake sincerity and began trying to get her finger back. Mona, evil glee in her eyes, refused to let go. She clung on like a jackal, even after Chi's green blood began to dribble into her mouth. She was biting the green-clad tallest to the bone.

One of her free soldiers slapped Mona across the face with a sound like a gunshot and her head snapped to the side on her neck faster than Red's eye could track. He struggled to get free to help her but someone pulled his arms tighter behind his back and he stifled his cry of pain.

Mona turned to look at the soldier who had slapped her and the look on her face might have scared a human into soiling themselves; there was a bright red mark on her cheek where she'd been slapped and a thin trickle of green-red blood dribbled from her nose. Her eyes conveyed nothing but the purest, deepest, darkest rage Red had ever seen on any being in the universe. She looked like what the humans might call a daemon.

"You'll be sorry you ever bit me," Chi growled. Mona's Irken-bloodstained mouth turned up into a truly evil grin as she saw the damage she'd done; Chi's finger was nearly severed.

"I had planned to make this subtle. Now I've changed my mind! Soldiers! Seperate Red and Purple! Take them to seperate holding facilities. Take the wounded Elites to human conainment building two. As for Mona, here... throw her into the prison block," snapped Chi.

"No!"

Red was rudely shoved towards the door, followed by everyone else in sick bay. Zim took his pride of place beside Chi, looking quite proud of himself as they were all herded off the Massive like sheep.

"Mona!" Joanna cried. Tears were streaming down her bruised cheeks.

"Jo! Whatever hapens, I'll come for you!" Mona called back. She was beginning to cry too. She and her best friend brushed fingertips before both of them were jerked rudely away. Red lost sight of Purple, too, and he gave his mutual friend a sad glance before he was being dragged through the cold snow towards an uncertain prison.

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Mona didn't know where they were taking her but she was damned if she was going to stay wherever it was. She wasn't fighting now because she was physicallt exhausted; two battles in a day were bound to take their toll on her.

She was more worried about Red and Joanna. Jo didn't do anything wrong; she had been thrown into the middle of this and even though Mona knew she didn't mind as long as they had each other, she still felt bad. If anything happened to her friend she would die. Nothing else would matter. She would jump into the path of an oncoming laser.

She marched with her captors towards a building that was in the process of being built using one of the popup gadgets Red had given her to help her friends. It was low and long and looked very secure.

They opened the dor and threw her roughly inside. The door was shut and she was alone.

She got to her feet and noticed for the first time that there was a sour, bitter salt taste in her mouth; Chi's blood was on her lips and on her face.

She wiped her face off and spat on the floor.

She then examined the gaping hole in her midsection. She probed the raw wound and was surprised to see that her intestines were gone. In their place was a large, slick, slippery sac-like organ. Strange... she didn't feel very different, although it hurt like a bitch. It had stopped bleeding, at any rate. She would have to be careful not to get it infected.

She examined her new surroundings. The room she was in was oddly box-shaped. The lighting was dim but she could see enough to know that she was in what appeared to be a maze of cubicle-like rooms with doors and corridors.

She searched in vain for any sort of escape rout and spotted an air vent in the ceililng. She activated the rocket jets in her Irken boots and pulled on it, hoping to get out through the duct system. A tiny electric shock ran through her body and a computerized voice said, "Do not attempt to escape. Entire building is secure."

She sat on the floor in a heap, her uniform wet and tattered and still cold and soaked from the battle in the woods, her hair singed up to her neck on one side, Irken blood on her arms and shirt and neck.

She had never felt so alone. But she would find a way out of this mess one way or another.

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Dib knew the minute the Irken Armada started running for their lives that he should hide, too. Anything that threatened Zim's race was bad news for humans.

He had escaped the battle near the lake with only a few scratches and a few inches of his hair sliced off. The scythe-shaped lock on his head was now too short to keep its shape and his hair lay desheveled all over his pale face. His glasses, too, were cracked and his vision was blurred as a result.

Nevertheless, he hid from the Irkens on the big gray ship. He saw them break into the Massive and bring out bleeding, limp green figures and a defeated-looking Mona. He had heard of her, of course, the human-gone-Irken who had betrayed the human race. He felt a pang of sadness about this whole thing when he overheard he heartbroken cry to the other girl with brown hair. They must be friends.

He kept a low profile for the moment. Zim was up to something... and he was going to find out! He was no longer Earth's sole defender; Earth had been conquered for the better, he knew. Now he would defend the very people Zim had sworn revered him.

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DUN DUN DUUUUN!! WOOOOOOOOOO Dib-monkey is back for all you hopeless dibfans! PLEASE REVIEW!


	34. POV's

Hey, this chapter won't hold much, I just thought I owed you all an apology chapter so here it is! I was gone for awhile... now I'm back!

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Joanna sniffled in the dark room they'd thrown her into, along with Mona's cat and the little kitten she'd given to Tallest Red. Oreo, as he'd named him, was cavorting in the darkness with its mother.

She nsiffled and fingered some of the more painful laser burns on her arms. The skin there was thin and raw and when she touched it, they burned like red-hot needles. She could smell her own blood.

Suddenly one of the cats jumped lightly onto her lap and began licking her wounds. It hurt like hell and she pushed it off.

"Stop it, kitty," she whispered.

She looked up at the single window up high on the wall and sighed. She obviously wasn't going to die, but they had put her into a seperate holding cell than the rest of the humans for a reason. She only hoped it wasn't because of her close friendship with Mona.

As Joanna was staring up at the window, thinking of her friend, Red was sitting in a corner of a maze-like building, his hover belts and PAK defense still disabled, his knees drawn up to his chest. He was alone.

He felt his face heat up and his eyes sting and let the silent, empty tears come. There was a wrenching feeling near his heart as he thought of Mona and the merciless way Zim had shoved a claw through her belly. She was probably dying even as he sat here doing nothing. Zim would die, of that much he was sure, and it wouldn't be so gentle this time.

He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes as a single tear traced its way down his cheek and across his neck.

Mona.

Purple, meanwhile, had been thrown rather rudely into a room with bars on all the walls. No matter how he tried, he couldn't oull them apart. They had disabled his PAK and his hover belts but they hadn't disabled his voice.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE! I'M A TALLEST, YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

He may as well have been screaming up a donkey's rectum.

As Purple sit screaming at the walls in a jail cell, Mona had managed to stuff up the holes in her front and backside of the torso with parts of her dirty uniform. She had rolled up strips of the shirt portion and stuffed them into the holes to stop germs from getting inside. She knew it looked ridiculous but it was better than gangrene.

She sighed and started plotting a way to get out of here.

Meanwhile, across the city, Maize noticed the large gray ship land and then the fighting and she had hid.

She was a lot smarter now that she'd finished her training classes, but she still wasn't ready to fight yet. She was too little, her mother said. The big giant tall one had agreed. She knew they were her mom and dad and she knew she had been an illegal accident, but she didn't care; she loved life too much to be hurt.

Well, she _was_ little, but she wasn't useless.

She hid behind a large, abandoned shed and watched as up ahead, another person hid behind a pile of trash. He looked human...

She darted in between piles of trash or snowbanks here and there and finally caught up with him. His hair was all singed and hsi corrective lenses were cracked. She brought a tool out of her PAK and offered it to him, taking him by surprise.

"Yah!! Who are you?!" he demanded.

She shrunk back, looking hurt.

"I'm Maize. That's my mom," she said, pointing. Sure enough, she saw her mother being dragged away by soldiers in blue. She was bleeding a lot. She was hurt! How DARE they hurt her mother!

"Hey! Let her go!" she shouted angrily. Her voice was small and shrill and the human clapped a hand over her mouth. His skin smelled grubby and felt even more so and she wriggled away, disgusted.

"Shutup! You wanna get caught??" he demanded.

That shut her up.

"My name is Dib. I'm going to stop Zim once and for all, if it's the last thing I do. You wanna come with me?" he asked.

Maize stared off into the distance as her father was dragged away, looking dejectedly at the other tall one with purple eyes.

She knew about her parents and all their soldiers in the Armada. She was alone now. She had her own freedom. She would help them if she could.

"Sure. But I wanna save my friends," she said.

Dib and Maize shook on it, green skin meeting pale peach, and they shook.

Meanwhile, Chi was being doctored up by a medic on board her ship. His name was Grorl and he was tall and slender and usually dressed in a dark uniform with little red crosses everywhere. He always wore a skull necklace, for reasons unbeknownst to her. She didn't care either way.

He was wrapping up her poor finger. She had already had both thumbs cut off to be a tallest! Now the little hybrid freak had to go and nearly sever one of her two fingers on the left hand! Pretty soon she'd only have a one-fingered hand! And wouldn't _that_ look ridiculous.

Grorl finished wrapping it with an impatient, "sit _still_!" and she dismissed him. He took his bloody gauze and cotton wrapping away, muttering in annoyance under his breath.

Chi went back to her diabolical scheming and Grorl, called Growl by some of hs fellow medics from the academy for his tendency to mutter under his breath when annoyed, headed back to sick bay, and his personal office on board the Vort ship.

He tossed the bloody wrappings in the wastebasket and sat down heavily.

He had been forced to work aboard Chi's ship by way of blackmail. He had been a criminal in the field, selling PAK parts on the blackmarket and sabotaging security systems on the planet Vort in exchange for Vortian DNA to toy with however he pleased. Geneticism was only a hobby of his; what he really enjoyed was healing.

Chi had approached him a year ago and threatened to turn him into Red and Purple if he didn't work for her.

And so here he was. In the middle of a war he cared nothing about on a planet that, while beautiful, was cold.

He would be glad when it was over.

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A new OC was introduced and Maize and Dib are working together? PLEASE REVIEW! I shall draw you all a picture of Grorl asap on deviantart, look me up!! Saoirseranekaera


	35. Trial and error

Hey, jumping right into it here. Just one question... on CSI, WHY the FUCK does everyone assume Grissom is gay??

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Mona was feeling weaker by the moment.

She had been in her prison for a whole four days with nothing more to eat than a few slices of bread and some water pushed into the door by a small, green arm. She had lost too much blood. She was mentally exhausted from plotting ways to escape.

Her eyes fell on the door, which was locked from the outside. She had made up her mind long ago, the last time they'd pushed in food. The next time they did, she was goingto ram herself into that door with everything she had, even if it meant beating the person who was giving it to her senseless.

She heard footsteps. She braced herself and staggered to her feet, ignoring the burning heat in her gut.

A key in a lock. She set her feet.

The door opened a crack, letting in daylight and she charged.

The person on the other side of the door gave no resistance and let out a sharp cry as the door swung wide open. Mona had only enough strength ot fall on her ass and see the shock of black hair and crooked antennae that was Maize before her muscles gave up.

"You didn't have to knock me over, I was planning on breaking you out anyway!" she exclaimed.

Mona would have smiled at seeing her daughter but she was just too weak.

A teenage boy crept out from the shadows and saw them both. He had broken glasses on and his hair, while vaguely scythe-shaped, was burned and ruined.

"You get her? Come on!!" he hissed at Maize.

Maize lifted her mother's arm but it was dead weight. She was hurt and covered in blood and dirt and she smelled horrible. She looked deep into her superior's eyes and saw a friend. Her mother. Her commander. She had to help her.

"Help me with her, she's weak!" she begged the human Dib.

Dib got one of Mona's arms, Maize got the other and together they dragged her off into the shadows. Maize made sure she was hidden by the snowbank before running back to the door of what had been her prison and shutting it to make it look like nothing was wrong.

She ran back to Mona and Dib and helped the human boy drag her mother to an area on the edge of the woods that they had made themselves. Maize was stronger than Dib.

Their "fortress" resembled nothing more than a child's treehouse covered in a blanket of autumn leaves long-since dead. They had to keep piling snow on top to hide it.

"Do you have her?"

Inside the fort were huddled three Irken Elites who had managed to get away from Chi's prying army of blue. None of them were without injuries. The moment they saw Mona's unmoving form, they swarmed her and propped her up where Maize and Dib were too small.

Maize only reached Dib's elbow. She was positively tiny, but she'd been told by the control brains that since she had human in her and since Earth's gravity was less than Irk's, she might grow faster. She couldn't wait.

She watched helplessly as the older, more experienced soldiers brought Mona around and pulled the balled up, bloody fabric out of her midsection where something had been shoved through. Maize saw the color of the boards and wood behind her through the wound and recognized claw marks. Someone had shoved a mechanical PAK arm through her body, front to back!

"No! Is she hurt bad??" she begged one of the older soldiers. She felt tears prick her eyes but paid them no mind. Mona was the only one who treated her special, like a friend. Everyone else treated her like a little smeet, a freak; her nickname in the ranks now was "hybrid".

The older soldiers all gave her condescending looks and Mona opened her eyes a crack, bright light blue.

"Don't ignore her, she's just as important as you are. New generation and all," she managed to choke and she broke up coughing.

Maize threw herself onto the ground and smiled at her role model. Someday, she would be like Elite commander Mona; tall, strong, confident and pretty. For now she was just a smeet.

"Hey, kiddo. _You_ started all this? Behind Chi's back?" said Mona softly. She winced as one of the soldiers began cleaning her belly up with materials from his PAK. She noted the big red cross emblazoned across his otherwise-normal Elite uniform; he was a medic.

Maize smiled and pointed to Dib, who was staring at them all looking shifty and awkward.

"Me and the human, yes ma'm," she said respectfully. Then, because Mona did, she began giggling. Formalities were always somehow forgotten in the presence of this superior Irken hybrid.

The medic Elite finished cleaning the wound in her belly and began patching it up with some sort of tape from his PAK. It was green in contrast to Mona's almost-white-green skin and covered the holes in both her front and back.

Mona immediately sat up straighter and seemed to remember her ruined uniform. Her human breasts were partially exposed and it was here that Dib looked away, disgusted and embarassed. Maize dug in ehr PAK for something she'd gathered from her mother's house before going to kill the person who usually delivered her food in her cell.

She handed her a fresh uniform, this one in slightly darker shades of blue and they all turned as she got changed.

They turned back and Maize smiled as she recognized Mona for what she truly was.

An Irken Elite Commander. And a pissed off one at that.

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Red leaned back in his cubicle-like cell. He had tried everything he could think of over the past four days. He had tried making something from spare parts in his PAK that would break him out, but to no avail. .He had tried climbing through an air vent but had been shocked. He'd even tried hacking into the computer systems, only to be shocked again.

For now he sat leaned up against a wall, his eyes closed. He was trying to let himself doze off but Chi had ordered the cell rechargers in all their PAKs reenacted. He no longer needed sleep. He badly wanted to, so he could dream. Dreaming was something new to him. He missed Mona terribly. Even Maize made her way into his thoughts.

He got to his feet, awkwardly because of the skirt-portion of his suit and looked out a small window in the door. It was doublethick and had bulletproof wire integrated into it. He had already tried breaking it. No use.

He paced back and forth, but because of his suit his steps were reduced to little baby steps. Irritated, he pressed the button to open it up like a shell and shook it off. Standing naked was better then pacing in baby steps.

He resumed hispacing but was distracted by the computer snickering at him.

"Since when do computers snicker??" he snapped. The computer was silent.

"I am a computer, nothing but circuits and a hard drive. I can't laugh. I'm incapable."

"Uh huh," he said sarcastically.

He ignored the computer and began thinking again. He was a tallest, along with Purple. Chi had her shot and the two of them had outgrew her. It was no one's fault. The fact that Chi had almost started a universal war made no difference.

Perhaps he could just think like Mona for once? What would she do in a situation like this... Mona was intelligent but fairly straightforward. Smash her way out by force using anything at hand is what she'd do.

He looked around for anything like that and spotted a crowbar. Perfect.

He picked it up and began smashing at the little window, repeatedly, swing after swing, relishing the pain the vibrations ringing down the handle sent up and down his arms and through his wrists. He only succeeded in cracking the bulletproof glass. And a little crack at that.

Tired, he let the crowbar fall. Scratch that idea.

The computer sighed.

Glaring daggers at the inanimate object, he climbed a small set of stairs nearby that led to another room and cast about for something up there. These buildings has been erected in quite a hurry. Perhaps someone had left something for him to use.

Papers of no importance, a desk, a ratty-looking mattress, nothing more.

He groaned, irritated.

_Admit it to yourself, Meckle. No one's coming for you. You've been abandoned_, he thought to himself.

He had never felt so alone...

He felt a familiar cool breeze in the airless room and his antennae perked up.

"...Zim?"

The coputer made a static noise and Zims voice burst from the speakers. Talk about a split personality, he mused.

"My tallest? Red? "

"ZIM!! Oh, for once I'm glad to hear from you!" he gushed, getting to his feet and running to the computer. The screen showed nothing but green static but after tweaking it a bit, he saw the face of the ebenevolent spirit that had so frequently posessed GIR from time to time.

It looked like the old Zim, alright. But the form was transparent and smokey, like water, inconsistent. There was sadness in his eyes. Seeing Red's face, the spectral Zim smiled warmly.

"I can oly control the computer for so long, Sir. I just thought I'd let you know that Maize teamed up with a human Zim habitually tried to kill, a boy called Dib, and a few Elites who managed to get away from Chi. She's free, but she's hurt and very weak. I think they'll come to break you out," Zim reported.

Red's heart swelled with hope and impatience. Mona might have called it an adrenaline rush, but Irkens didn't have adrenaline. Something similar, but not adrenaline.

"Thanks a lot, Zim. Uh... Since the other... not-good Zim has another body and another PAK, what should we call you? I mean... you're Zim but you're... NOT-Zim," Red asked. He was even confusing himself!

The smokey figure on the screen gave that sad smile again and shook his head.

"I don't know, My Tallest... Zim2?"

The image flickered and sparks flew. The computer was fighting back.

"I'm leaving... I have to go help the others!! I'm with you all the way, my Tallest!" Zim2 had time enough for that before the transmission was cut and the computer took control once more.

Red got his biomech suit back on and looked out the window. All he saw were Irken buildings ans Chi's soldiers. There wasn't a single Armada-loyal Elite to be seen. They were either dead or in hiding. Red got the feeling most of them, if not all, were in hiding.

He saw a flash of color among the dirty snow. He blinked and it was gone. He looked again. He saw a flash of yellow, he was sure of it! But as soon as he looked again, it was gone...

A face rose up against the window and two four-fingered green claws slammed against the glass.

"YAAH!!" he jumped back in shock. Shock of messy black hair, very crooked, messed-up antennae, dark gray and yellow uniform, unique because so was she... Maize.

"My Tallest!!" she cried, smiling.

"Maize!! Quick, where's Mona?" he demanded.

The doorknob glowed red-hot and it was kicked open by someone behind her. It was the big-headed human kid who had made a habit of demanding Irk's coordinates when Zim was still an "invader".

"Comeon, we don't have a lot of time!! Let's find the other one so I can kick Zim's...ZIMMY butt for good!!" he demanded impatiently, a maniacle grin on his face.

Red quirked one eyebrow sadly at the little earth monkey. He was very clearly insane. He was also very clearly, a child.

"Come ON, Red, sir!! We have to go before someone comes!!" Maize begged impatiently. She was a truly tiny thing... twice smaller than Zim had been.

She was also every bit as small as HE had been as a smeet. She showed another side inherited from his DNA in a moment.

Dib tried pullling Red out the door by the arm, a determined look on his face and Maize smacked him in the head so hard that he fell over. There was a furious look in her goldenrod-colored eyes that Red had no trouble distinguishing; it was the same hard, blazing look Mona sometimes got when she meant business.

"I told you when I joined forces with you that we were saving my friends and family FIRST, destroying this ZIM guy second! Now come on!" she screamed.

Both males present were silent and Dib behaved from then on.

Maize fooled with something inside his PAK and he could hover again. She really was intelligent.

He kneeled down low and hovered closer to the ground so as not to be noticed.

They led him to the edge of the woods to a snow-covered tree fort on the ground. He huddled under the roof and saw three Irken Elites with their own injuries, one of them, a medic.

"Where's Mona?" he demanded automatically.

"My Tallest, Sir, we tried to stop her, but she'd have none of it. She went back to the Lake and insisted she take care of the dead," said the Medic.

Red sighed. Time to be Tallest again.

"I want names and positions. Right now!" he demanded.

The medic stood and bowed as best as he was able to. One of his antennae was bent sideways and he had a roughly-made cast on his left ankle.

"Elite Medic Gij, my Tallest," he muttered.

"Elite frontline soldier, Sir! My name is Benn," said the second Elite. His left wrist was wrapped up and there was a half-healed gash across his hand.

"Elite informant megadoomingir, my Tallest."

Everyone stared.

"Er... people call me Doom for short?" he added meekly.

"Better," said Red grimly.

He opened the communication channel on his wrist gauntlet and fooled around until he reactivated it. He hailed down Mona.

She answered it looking exhauted, in pain and annoyed. Her hair was singed all over and ruined and there were dark smudges underneath her eyes.

"RED!! Are you okay?" she demanded.

"I'm.. fine. Maize and some human kid teamed up with a few Elite soldiers and got me out, I'm in some sort of badly made fort," he informed her.

"Hey!! It took us forever to make this thing!!" Dib complained.

Red ignored him.

"I'm taking care of the dead bodies at the lake. I left Dawn's little fortress standing. We can all abandon that stupid kid's fort and come here," she said wearily.

"HEY!!"

No one listened to Dib's outburst but Elite Doom clapped a hand over his mouth. They were only on the edge of the woods, they could still be heard.

"Fine. We'll meet you there shortly. Since I stand out just a little bit, maybe I should send Maize and you after Purple, huh?" he asked.

"Sure," Mona sighed. She cut the call.

"You heard me, let's move it!" Red ordered.

With Dib groaning and ranting insanely the whole way, and with Maize reting safely on her father's shoulders (she was that tiny) they made their way deeper into the woods, following the path of broken branches and blood-soaked, trampled ground.

The earlier battle against Dawn and her rebels had left its mark.

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PLEASE REVIEW!! You may have noticed I threw a few cameos in here, friends from deviantart!!


	36. AAAP

Typing on text again cause for some reason, the RTF format isn't letting me type anything... again.

Sorry for my absence!! It was a bit hectic. I was busy job hunting, turning 20 and ending art contests on deviantart.

Anyways, I'ma pick up where I left off. Red has been rescued and Mona is suffering from blood loss, shock and exhaustion... she isn't doing so hot after two short but bloody battles. Dib and Maize may be working together, but for entirely different reasons. And Mona and Maize are about to go rescue Purple, who despite his predicament, is having a lot of fun with his jailer...

the title of this chapter stands for As Annoying As Possible.

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Grorl was already being stretched to his breaking point. He was a MEDIC not a jailer or a slavedriver! It was an honor for Chi to consider him "worthy" enough to guard one of the Almighty Tallests, but this... was... ridiculous.

A cloth block bounced off the side of his head and he growled, baring his teeth and resisting the urge to get up and scream. Someone had thrown several children's toys from the smeetery for Purple to keep himself "occupied" with. So far, he'd only seen fit to occupy himself by throwing everything at Grorl.

"Heeellooooooo..."

Grorl ignored the purple-eyed tallest and dug around in his medic bag for something, ANYTHING to distract him. Heart scanner, brain scanner, bandages, syringes, bio-tape, nano-bots... nothing particularly entertaining.

His hands brushed up against his energy gun and a twisted smile disrupted his face. Perfect.

He pulled it out and checked the energy gauge on the little red bubble on the side; 3 bars out of 12. Not good.

WHY??

Growling again, he turned his back on Purple and felt something else bounce off one of his antennae. Grating his teeth now, he shifted his weight in his seat and began arranging and re-arranging his medical instruments on the gray table in front of him.

The entire building was drab and gray. Cement walls and ceilings, impenetrable bars on all the cells and uniform baren offices every few feet of cellblocks.

Syringes next to his heart scanner, bio scanner next to that, bio-tape meant for stitching open wounds next to it, then the dormant nano-bots for healing minor wounds... he felt another cloth block bounce off the back of his head.

"HEY!! What'cha doin'? Huh? huh? huh? huh? huh?"

"Rrrr... ignore him, Grorl, just... ignore him..." he muttered to himself. His butt itched; he scratched it absentmindedly.

"Hey!! What's the matter, your butt itchy? huh? huh? huh?"

Enough was enough.

He got to his feet and threw himself against the bars of Purple's cage, not really caring that this was a tallest and he could be executed for assault later on. He was on Chi's side, no matter how much he hated her.

Purple jumped. He hadn't been expecting to get a reaction as explosive as this.

Grorlw reached through the bars and caught the sleeves of his tallest's uniform and pulled him close. They were eye to eye now.

"ENOUGH!! I don't want to be here ANY more than you do, so just... STOP!" he screamed at him.

Purple flinched slightly at the onslaught of spittle and the deranged medic released him.

Grorl straightened his tunic out and swept one bare hand over his antennae. He sighed and regained his composure.

He expected Purple to be at least a little bit cowwed. But all he found his outburst worthy of saying was, "wow, you need to get a breath mint or something, you know? huh? huh?"

Grorl growled under his breath again and decided to put headphones on. Maybe some good Irken music would calm his frayed nerves.

They didn't have ears, persay, but the music was heard as sound through his antennae all the same.

He wasn't normally such an impatient, fiery-tempered person by nature. But Chi's choice of battles was getting worse and worse. Oh, if only she didn't have him by the squeedilyspooch... if it weren't for her imminent threat of blackmail, he'd be gone, back to fixing and reparing PAKs and bandaging normal Irken Elite soldiers rather than the grumpy, silent drones Chi employed.

As the music played, he found Purple's voice easier and easier to tune out. Even the occasional human child's cloth block bouncing off various parts of his body was easy to ignore.

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Mona was running on autopilot. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally. Her belly had started bleeding again, even after the improvisions Benn, Doom and Gij had managed to inflict.

She stumbled as she buried the last body beneath the snow. With any luck, the wolves and other wild carnivores would take care of the rest and by summertime, the bones would be washed away.

Her work finally finished, she took a few steps towards the clearing that would lead back to Dib's little kiddie fort and stumbled again. She was lightheaded and dizzy, but otherwise she felt fine. She could beat this. Nothing mattered. Just get the other Elites out of hiding, beat that walking asparagus to a pulp and win back Earth. Not a problem.

She fell.

She tried to get up but was annoyed at her legs when her thigh muscles refused to cooperate.

"Come on..." she muttered. She was an Elite Commander. No longer human but not really truly Irken either. The control brain had given her this rank for a reason, and not because she was weak. She was not weak. She had made some mistakes, yes, but in her mind, betraying the human race had been a much needed improvement. The only thing she had to fix in this moment right now was to get her legs back in gear and keep walking.

The new clean uniform she wore was again bloodsoaked and filthy, wet and a little torn. She was freezing. It had taken her a little under two hours to finish her grisly job. A lot of the dead had had guts strewn hell-to-breakfast and more than a few were missing most major limbs. It had been more than a simple cleanup. The only evidence of the battle of Lake Michigan now were the many green and red bloodstains in the dirty snow and wasted machine parts from the hover runners.

From a distance, she heard voices. Her antennae perked up at a familiar voice. Maize. And Red. She was getting used to having extra apendages on her head now. She could move them independantly of one another and they were extra sensitive.

She called out and managed to get to her knees and hands. Her hands were long-since numb and were starting to go blue. She was freezing. If there was one thing the Irken uniforms were not was warm.

She heard an answering call and very soon Maize, Red, Benn, Doom, Dib and Gij burst into the clearing.

Maize and the other immediately went to her side but Red just stood there, stunned. She looked like she had been through a black hole and back out again just to go right through a supernova. Her hair was almost gone on one side of her head, singed by a laser weapon of some sort and her uniform was torn, bloody and sopping wet. In some places, dirt and mud had been ingrained into the fabric.

The others helped her to her feet and brought her nto one of the cabins on the edge of the frozen lake. The entire clearing was surrounded on mosrt sides by snow-covered pine trees. The smell of blood marred the otherwise pine-fresh crisp air.

Red followed them all into the long, low cabin and closed the door. It was far from Irken but all the same, kind of cozy. There was what looked like a fireplace against the far wall. A fireplace in a building made of wood... ludicrous. There were fur rugs on every inch of the floor and several chairs lay here and there. Everything was covered in a mile of filth. Dirt, dust, puddles of water from melted snow, probably dripped from tired boots.

Elite Pilot Benn picked up several chairs and wiped them off with a nearby rag so they could all sit. Mona looked relieved to sit someplace and the Elite medic, Gij immediately set upon her with bio-tape and bandages.

"Okay... we should stay here until Mona is well enough to go with Maize and get Purple free," Red began.

Benn raised his hand tentatively.

"Um, sir? If I might... we may not have to wait for the commander to get well again... I know where I can borrow a PAK, temporarily, you know... if she can utilize it for the time being, she should be fine," he suggested.

Red thought about it. War was not a time to be picky.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," he gave in.

Benn rushed out the door of the cabin and vanished from sight, presumably to go get a PAK for Mona. Where he would get it was anyone's guess.

Red kneeled down next to Mona and examined her wound closer; the edges were very red and infected-looking, and although it had stopped bleeding, it looked painful. He couldn't see the gray-red ropes of intestine he'd seen the last time her guts were hanging out. He also noticed that although horribly pale and stretched-looking, her skin had a deeper green tinge to it than before.

"Uh... sir? My tallest? Um, there's a rumor going around those of us in hiding that... well... you've fallen in love," said Gij timidly, as if afraid to make him angry.

Mona looked up at the medic with a pitying look.

"No... I fell in love with HIM... ow..." she grunted.

She was covering up for him so he wouldn't be executed. He felt a surge of affection quite unrelated to the fact that he had deactivated the hormone suppressors in his PAK.

"Oh... you could get in trouble for that..." muttered Gij.

"Mind your own business!" Mona snapped viciously.

Gij shut up, an annoyed look on his face.

Gij got back to work on Mona's ruined torso and everyone else was silent as they waited for Benn to get back.

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Benn, meanwhile, was busy trying not to get shot or stuck on the wrong end of a prod stick.

So far, sneaking and diving behind buildings and the occasional snowbank had proved very effective, but Chi's blue-clad troops were everywhere. He was used to piloting SHIPS, not playing commando trooper... that was for the Elite soldiers. Every branch of the Elite was trained in basic fighting and weaponry tactics, but still... he'd rather fly.

Up ahead was the jail Tallest Purple was being held in. He couldn't get the tallest out on his own... but the thing he was looking for was in there.

He decided to chance it and made a mad dash for the door, hoping against hope that no one would see him.

No one did.

He slipped inside, quiet as a shadow, and immediately spotted it. Chi's creepy medic was watching over Purple and it had become quick knowledge that he liked PAKs.

Right away, he saw a large duffel-type bag. He unzipped it and hoped the medic wouldn't round the corner and catch him.

Sweet monkey livers... the bag was FILLED with not just extra medical equipment but layer upon layer of PAK parts. Wires, cords, plugs, switches, vials of various hormone supression fluids, metal outer shells, inner plastic bubbles to protect the insides, spare mechanical spider leg attachements, a couple jet packs and, best of all, the basic necessities of life support systems.

Wow... Chi's medic really was a criminal... some of these PAK parts were definitely impossible to find anywhere except the blackmarket trade... he didn't hesitate.

He pulled a spare bag out of his own PAK and began piling things in, metal shells, plastic, spider legs, life support... all the necessities of a normal PAK.

He heard footsteps hurrying his way and zipping both bags up, he got the hell out of there.

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Just when they were wondering where on Earth Benn was, he came bursting in, his sides heaving, out of breath and panting. He wordlessly handed the bag to Red and he opened it. PAK parts... all they needed and more.

He quickly laid everything out on one of the tables and began assembling parts, helped by Benn, Gij and Doom. Dib and Maize stood by and watched and Mona just sat there, unaware of what installing a PAK meant.

Red threaded two thin steel cables through small holes in the flat side of an outer shell and hooked them into the brain of all PAKs- a small impenetrable bubble with stuffs unknown inside. It was artificial intelligence and life support for the PAK itself.

It took them about ten minutes to put everything together. The end result was a normal-looking PAK with dark blue dots instead of the standard pink. Red had thought it appropriate, considering the color of the rest of her uniform.

He advised the others to help her stand and warned her to brace herself. She already had two holes in her body; he was about to make two more.

In pretense of trying to line it up with her spinal cord, he leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"I'm sorry for this... it's gonna hurt."

Without warning her, he jammed the PAK against her backbone. Immediately, the pronged cables he'd intalled shot out and dug themselves into her flesh, penetrating muscle, fat and tissue to connect with her spinal cord.

She cried out and fell over, catching herself on her hands and knees.

The blue dots on the PAK flashed and a mechanical voice said, "SCANNING VITAL FINCTIONS."

As they all watched, the PAK began healing what was wrong with her. The wounds in her belly and back started to close up and any scratches she had disappeared, healed from within by microscopic nanobots.

Slowly, she got back to her feet. She certainly looked healthier and she no longer looked so tired or shocked.

"So now I really am one step closer to being Irken, aren't I?" she asked.

Silently, he nodded.

"So... how do I use this thing?" she asked, looking over her own shoulder at the unfamiliar PAK.

Red shrugged.

"You just... WANT to. Think about it. That PAK is an extension of your own body. Think of it as... a fifth limb," said Maize, smiling at her mother.

Mona managed a small smile back and appeared to think a moment. Seconds later, four mechanical spider legs shot out of her new PAK and lifted her into the air.

Eyes wide, she looked shocked.

"This... is actually pretty cool," she said, lowering herself.

She retracted the spider legs and tried a force field. It worked flawlessly.

"More like a swiss army knife," she corrected Maize, smiling. The novelties of the mechanical saprophite seemed to have cheered her up considerably.

"Hey... could I fly?" she asked slyly.

In reply, Gij activated her jet pack and hovered three feet off the floor. Mona soon followed suit and a grin broke out across her face. She was making a very pretty Irken commander, not yet permanently scarred like the rest of them.

She made her way back to the floor and looked at Maize, whos head only came up to the top of her boots. Maize smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. Mona nodded, understanding.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get Purple and kick Chi's skinny ass!"

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Not much happened here except a more indepth look at Benn (at first intended to be a cameo) and Grorl. Mona got a pAK. PLEASE REVIEW! 


	37. Sprung

Sorry, I've been away for awhile...

Okay, here's the scoop. No, I did not forget about Joanna. You'll see why if you keep reading.

Now it's Elite Medic Gij, Elite pilot Benn, Elite soldier Doom, Tallest Red, Mona, Maize and Dib. This is the Armada's army atm, but it'll have to do.

Zim2 will come into an important role a bit later.

No telling!! keep reading!!

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As their sorry group flitted from shadow to shadow, Maize riding on her father's head because she was too small to keep up, Elite medic Gin voiced a nutty question.

"Commander, what about your human friend? Joanna?"

Mona stopped, panting, and peered out from behind the building they had hidden behind. OUt in the distance stood Chi's Vort ship, and, guarding it, her blue-clad soldiers.

"I think she's safer where she is for the moment. She can kick ass when the time calls for it, but I don't want to get her involved in this," said Mona quietly, not paying attention to Gij.

Suddenly there was a sharp prick on her left butt cheek.

She jumped.

"Ouch!!" she hissed, and turned around. Gij stood there with an empty syringe and an annoyed look on his face.

"But this is THEIR planet. Her home. Shouldn't she be involved?" he retorted.

Mona was about to tell him off for stabbing people with needles, but then thought of what he said. He was right, of course. And Jo was hurt. What had she been thinking?

She nodded sadly, and looked off into the distance. She had no idea where they had taken her British friend.

"Does anyone have a tracking device of any kind?" she asked the small group.

Benn pulled something out of his PAK and fiddled with it for a moment.

"I can locate any humans with this, by tracking their non-Irken DNA," he said.

Mona nodded.

"Okay, she might be all by her self with the cats. I think Chi's the type to use loved ones as leaveridge,..." said Mona, glaring indiscriminately at the ugly black-gray Vort ship. Her breath plumed out in front of her as she remembered the brief but firious battle on the Massive. She hoped Chi's finger REALLY hurt.

There was a moment when all but the shouts of Chi's soldiers were the only noises and Benn's machine thing beeped.

He pointed one black-gloved finger at a long, low building similar to the one she had been thrown into.

"Three non-Irken life forms in there. One bigger than the other two. Should we split up?" he asked.

Mona exchanged a glance with Red and he nodded.

"Seven of us is a lot more suspicious than a couple. Mona, me and Maize go get Joanna. You four go for Purple. And Don't Be Seen!" hissed Red.

The three ragtag Elites sprinted off into the next available shadow towards the jail where Purple was being held, led by Benn because he's already been there once.

Maize held on tighter to her father's head as he began to hover towards the building that held Joanna. Mona followed, her boots hindering her more than helping.

Clanky, unneccesary-shaped boots were better than bare feet in snow, at any rate.

They were one building away when Maize fell off Red's head and into plain sight. She cried out in surprise as she hit the snow.

Red and Mona were well hidden by shadows but Maize's cry had caught the attention of two of Chi's blue-clad goons. They joggged over to the little smeet and pointed their shock prods at her in a threatening gesture.

She shook the snow out of her crooked antennae and got to her feet, backing away in fear. Small tears formed at the corners of her eyes.

"State your business, smeet," spat one of the two. He had a long, ugly green scar running down the side of his head, forcing his left antenna to the side.

"Um, I... uh... I was heading to the smeetery... please don't hurt me..." Maize lied quickly. A tear ran down her cheek and the look on her face was pure terror.

The scarred irken withdrew his shock stick and began laughing arrogantly.

"I think we scared the little thing!" he joked to his comrad.

The other one glared at his partner.

"Congratulations. You can scare a baby. Now let's get back to our posts and leave THIS,-", he kicked her in the side and got her moving,"- to the cold. Before Chi comes around!"

They both walked away, leaving Maize crying in the snow.

Mona cast one quick, nervous look at the blue soldiers, darted out, bent down, grabbed Maize and darted back into the shadows in about a second. No one appeared to see her.

Maize clung to the front of Mona's filthy tattered uniform and buried her face between her breasts. She was still crying.

Feeling oddly protective, Mona held her close until they reached the place where Benn said Jo was probably being kept.

As was predicted, the door was locked.

Fortunately, said door faced away from sight of any of Chi's soldiers.

Mona took out one of the soldiers guarding the cell building with her ray gun to his left temple. Red tok the other out with an odd, chopping move to his shoulder.

He smirked.

"We have out weak spots, too," he explained.

Mona shot the locking mechanism off the door with her ray gun and kicked the door in.

Joanna jumped from where she sat on the floor and so did the two cats with her. Oreo recognized her owner and ran out to Red and Mona's cat stayed where she was, blinking forlornly in the light from day and glancing regally at her kitten as if to show her how to behave.

"Mona!!" Joanna cried.

"Jo!!"

Mona set Maize down on the floor and ran to her best friend. She looked awful. Her shirt was ruined, torn beyond recognition, her bra was broken, there was an ugly looking scab on her neck and crusted, dried blood up and down both her arms. The skin there looked horribly raw and irritated. Her glasses were broken and the ring through her eyebrow had been torn but not disconnected. A thin streak of blood dried brown ran down the side of her face as a result.

The two hugged as if they'd never see each other again, one human, one mostly alien, and Maize joined in the hug after a few seconds.

"I knew you'd come after me at some point," said Jo. She was grinning ear to ear at the sight of her old friend and Mona had a similar expression on her face.

Before she could stop her, Jo planted a big dry kiss on both Maona's cheek and Maize's, and once she stood up and stood on her toes, planted one on Red's cheek too. Red blushed a furious deep green and shied away.

Mona smiled at seeing her oldest and best friend in good spirits despite being hurt and, taking her by the hand like little girls at a slumber party, exited her prison cell. Jo grabbed Maize's other little hand and together, they all headed as fast as they could towards the building that housed Purple. With any more luck, the others would already have sprung him from jail.

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Grorl wasn't easy to bribe.

Gij was pleading with the eccentric medic to let Purple go and claim ignorance to Chi, but he was having none of it.

He had all four of them backed against a far wall, his gun pointed at them. It was almost dead, but they didn't know that...

Dib was trying to reason with him, too, but made a mistake of calling him a "filthy alien". Grorl, who had been listening intently up till thatpoint, growled at them and brandished his gun at the boy. Dib swallowed and shut his mouth.

At that moment, Tallest Red, Mona, Maize and Joanna burst in. Joanna held Maize's hand and Red held the two cats. The gray one looked content and lay in the crook of his arm, purring. The multi-colored one looked bored.

Grorl didn't dare turn his gun on the free Tallest. He was a lowly PAK trader and a medic, not a felon on the run. Only desperate people did desperate things. He was not so desperate.

He let his gun fall and raised a questioning antennae their way. It was him against a whole group. Tallest Red, the little oddball smeet, the human boy with the big head, Commander Mona, her human friend, and three Irken Elites. Tallest Purple would have to go free.

"Oh, what the Irk. Here. Chi can find herself a new medic anyway," Grorl muttered. He flung the keys at Mona and she wasted no time in freeing Purple.

Mona was staring hard at him, along with Gij, the other medic. His uniform was only different from a normal Elite's by the red cross on his chest.

"Join us?"

It was the little smeet who had asked. She wore an open, curious expression on her face. She was serious!

He must have been making a face becuse Mona brought out her own gun. Grorl was willing to bet hers wasn't dead.

"Join us."

Grorl felt compelled to comply.

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WOOO!! Another update!! Hooray-ness for all the corn nuts out there!! Please review!! 


	38. Torn apart again

WOW... lol I now have a second rabid fan of this fic. I had no idea, when I started it, that there would be so many chapters or so many ppl would like it, lol

Well, everyone's freed now, except the main portion of the Irken Armada and Grorl has joined the good side at last... Okay, it was at gunpoint, but still... he never liked Chi anyway.

As far as her blackmail is concerned, Chi can kiss his little green ass.

Chi is copyright Megadoomingir

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As a group of ten now, with Grorl, they managed, somehow, to make it to Mona's house.

She turned her back on the door and let herself slide down to sit on the floor. Her stairs... her kitchen... her living room, her things, her house. The rush of familiarity cleared her head like nothing else had and all she wanted to do was sleep... maybe for days.

Maize appeared at her feet, one hand on each of her knees, looking at her face. Her eyes, young as they were, were worried.

She looked up at everyone then. The three elites, Grorl, Dib, Maize, the Almighty Tallest, Joanna, her friends, all aliens. But then, so was she, in a way.

She looked down at herself and her filthy uniform. She smelled, too, after the fighting and the adrenaline and the stress. She could really go for a shower.

She got to her feet and headed up the stairs, her boots falling on familiar, worn blue carpet.

"Where are you going?" asked Purple suspiciously.

"I'm changing out of these clothes and taking a shower. This has been one hell of a week for me," she replied. She reached the landing and turned to look at them all. Joanna made a shooing gesture with her hands.

"You guys can clean up in the bathroom up here if you want to. I'll be in the one in my bedroom. Ask Jo, she can tell you," she said.

As Jo led them all upstairs after her, she ducked into her bedroom while the rest lined up outside the one down the hall.

She realized she had a second shadow the moment she had stripped off her filthy clothes and boots. It felt good to be naked after those horrible boots and all the grime and cold.

"I'm part human."

She turned to see Maize, looking serious.

"Uh... yeah. But less than me. I was born human. You probably only have a little bit in you," she replied, for lack of anything better to say.

She detached her new PAK and left it on the bed so it didn't get water in it.

She stepped into her hot shower and shivered; with the cold of the snow and the air outside, the hot water was like a magic sponge on her body, freeing frozen muscles and drenching her antennae. She layed them flat against the top of her head to avoid getting the curls in the direct spray and began wiping the dirt from the heavy scars on her collar, ankle, belly and now the slightly thicker skin of her torso. The nanobots in her new PAK had eradicated the gaping holes Zim had punched in her, but not entirely prevented scarring; the only scar left behind was an extra layer of skin.

She washed her mis-shapen hair and resolved to have Joanna help her lop the rest of it off. It was shorter on one side, only reaching just below her ears.

Her ears.

They were getting smaller!

She disregarded it. In the long run, after growing antennae and green skin, the loss of physical ears seemed minor.

She climbed out and wrung the water out of her hair. A few droplets his Maize in the face and she shut her eyes and giggled. She soon stopped, however, as small tendrils of smoke began to rise. Maize's bright yellow laughter quickly turned to wails of pain.

Mona grabbed a dishtowel and gently wiped the little smeet's face off. She remembered the medics from before telling her water was acidic to Irken skin.

Maize's skin felt a lot like Red's, except softer, more squishy.

Since she herself was dripping water, she wrapped herself in a towel and shooed her "daughter" out of the bathroom. She set her on the bed and grabbed a brand new, freshly clean Irken uniform from her dresser and pulled it on over clean undergarnments.

Joanna appeared in the doorway moments later, Tallest Red close behind, looking curious.

"I just got water on her by accident. I'm more human than she is, so it doesn't hurt me," she explained.

"Yet," said Red sarcastically.

She pursed her lips and handed her best friend some scissors.

"Fix my hair. Please?? Just chop it?" she begged.

Joanna snipped the scissors, eliciting a sharp, slicing sound of metal on blades, an evil grin on her face.

"My pleasure," she purred demonically.

Mona turned and let Joanna wreak hell with the blades. Her hair fell in great clumps of soggy tendrils on her carpet, leaving her back to feel strangely cold.

"Doesn't that hurt??"

Everyone turned to see Purple enter the room, cleaned up. He was watching the hair fall to the floor.

"Nope. Human hair is already dead. It's just there to keep our heads warm," said Jo.

She stopped cutting and Mona turned to face her mirror. Mona had finished with a pair of scissors what a laser had started; her hair now reached the back of her neck and stuck out at wierd angles. It wasn't perfect, rather messy, but she didn't mind. She liked it messy.

Jo had borrowed one of Mona's t-shirts, with a picture of a grinning, blood-drenched skeleton on the front. It was an old Iron Maiden t shirt and it went surprisingly well with the knee-length frill goth skirt she had chosen. The wound on her neck looked fine- already scabbed over and begun healing. She wore arm warmers lined in silver metal loops to protect the raw skin on her arms.

"Better. More Irken, I guess," said Purple, cramming something cheese-covered into his mouth. She smiled, remembering GIR and his cheese episode.

Speaking of GIR..

"Hey, where's GIR in all this? And ZimTwo?" she asked.

As if to answer her, the TV in her room flickered on and the volume turned itself down all the way. Zim's voice rang out of the speakers. So now he could manipulate machines?

"Hello again, my superiors. How goes the mission so far? Is there anything I can do to help?" asked her TV.

Everyone was silent.

"Yeah, actually. If you can manipulate machines, could you infiltrate the new Zim's new PAK? Make him do stuff?" asked Mona, getting an idea.

The TV was silent for a moment.

"This is sad. GIR never fought back. Your TV does..." it muttered.

Mona gave a nervous laugh.

"I can certainly try, my Commander. Anything you'd like me to make him do?"

"Yeah, there is, Zim. Make him STOP whatever insane plan he and Chi have," said Red irritably.

"I'm on it!! Ex-Invader Zim, reporting for duty!"

Her TV shut itself off.

"That answers that, Zim2 was following us the whole time. What about GIR?" asked Mona.

"Well, I er... I put him in sleep mode on the Massive for now. So he doesn't cause trouble," replied Red.

Mona nodded. It made sense.

They all crowded into her bedroom eventually. It was getting cramped with ten people. Dib hopped up onto her bed and Mona reached forward and grabbed him under the arms, dragging him off.

"Nyeaaa hey!!"

"No one sits on my bed, got it?" she demanded.

Dib looked pouty.

"Oooh kaaay."

"WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! COME OUT UNARMED AND MAYBE WE WON'T HURT YOU!"

The sudden booming voice made them all jump and Mona forbade Dib and Maize from going to the window and looking out.

"Hey!! They're using the Massive's comm system for that! How dare she go on OUR ship and use OUR stuff!" huffed Purple.

" 'Maybe' they won't hurt us?" Huh. Not much of a guarantee, is it?" muttered Grorl.

Mona gave a nervous laugh. She hadn't yet passed a judgement on the eccentric medic, but she guessed he would rather be on her side than Chi's.

"YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS AND I SEND TROOPS IN."

"What the frig?! Five seconds?! What does she thing we ARE, roadrunners??" demanded Joanna incredulously.

"For that long, we may as well just stay here," muttered Mona. She looked up and realized Grorl had said exactly the same thing at the same time. She raised an eyebrow at him and he raised one back.

"Maybe he's not so bad after all..." she said under her breath so no one would hear.

There was a loud crunch from downstairs and Mona strained her neck looking towards the stairway.

"NOT MY FRONT DOOR?! THAT'S WHAT THE EFFING DOORKNOB IS FOR!" she yelled.

There was laughter from downstairs and stomping on the stairs as whoever it was marched upstairs for them.

"It was REALLY too much to hope no one would notice all of us broken out of jail, wasn't it?" asked Dib.

"WE were never IN jail!" said Gij hotly.

"Now we WILL be," added Benn forlornly.

Chi's troops appeared in her doorway. They were cornered.

"Don't fight. It'll just end up like last time. Take these," muttered Grorl. He underhanded a small device to each of them so Chi's troops wouldn't notice.

From behind her, one of the elites made a surprised hissing noise.

"These are illegal!"

"Shut up!!" Mona hissed back.

She stiffened at the touch of Chi's foremost guard, the one with the same scar running down his face. He gave her what he clearly thought was a flirty smile and licked his lips.

"What do we have here..." he muttered.

She heard Red growling irritably.

Mona spat on the guard.

His face transformed into something even uglier and he wasn't so sweet anymore. He grabbed her by the upper arm and threw her at the other soldiers. She tripped and fell facefirst onto the carpet.

"Hey!!"

She didn't know who had said it, but she thought it sounded like both Red and Joanna.

Before she could help herself to her feet, a piece of heavy cloth was pulled over her eyes and boots were roughly shoved onto her feet.

"No!! Mona!!"

She knew that had been Jo.

There were cries and noises as more of their group were forced to the carpet. She guessed blindfolds were being put on everybody. Through it all, she kept Grorl's device hidden safely in her hand.

She was jerked to her feet again and she felt her arm creak with the force of it.

She was then roughly marched out of the room and she felt her feet hit stairs.

"Nooooooooooooo!! Mommy!! Daddy!"

That voice... was that Maize??

She called her...

"MOOOOMAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!"

Even her antennae cringed at that one. Her voice was thin and high pitched but painfully loud.

She heard everyone either grunting and groaning from being jerked around or her friends crying out to each other. Grorl shouted a warning to each of them, as cryptic to her as it was probably supposed to be for Chi's soldiers.

"DON'T LET THEM GET THEM!"

Mona's hand clenched tighter around the small device.

"Time to split up the dream team, I think. This time... I won't be so leanient."

She had no trouble recognizing that deadly, sugar-coated purr. It was Chi.

"I really hope your finger hurts, Chi. Cause if I get the chance, I'm gonna bite the other one off, and this time, I'll make it stick!" she threatened.

Chi laughed and right then Mona wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug smile off her stupid ugly face.

"Don't hurt Maize! She's just a smeet, Chi!" Red growled from somewhere behind Mona. She reached back and felt around with her hands but her arm was slapped away.

"Ow!"

"Mona?"

It was Maize.

"Don't worry, I'll be okay..." she whimpered.

There was a sharp sound, like flesh on metal, and Maize let out a pain-filled wail.

"Shut it, you," growled one of Chi's goons.

"You like to hit children, huh? I'm not surprised," growled Mona. She followed where the sounds had come from and prepared to stomp on the guy's foot

An arm looped itself around her neck out of nowhere and her vision really did go black.

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There were voices... and flashes of light that stabbed through her eyelids and hurt her eyes...

She tried to remember... Maize... and Joanna, her friends... Chi...

Chi.

She snapped her eyes open and sat up, only to find that her arms were bound behind her back so tight it hurt.

She was in a large room with no doors or windows, and again, cubicled walls made it seem like a maze.

She also noticed that this time, she was not alone.

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Uh oh... now what?

PLEASE REVIEW!! 


	39. WHAT? !

Woo!! Finally, rtf works on this now!!

Unfortunately, I'm only working on a 2Mbps internet connection, so this might be awhile uploading...

Oh, I left you all with a cliffie, didn;'t I? MWAHAHHAHAHA, well, Mona isn't with her friends, that's for sure. And Chi has a really twisted way of getting her jollies.

Chi is copyright to Megadoomingir

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Mona felt unseen hands pick at the bonds holding her wrists together behind her back and in moments, she was free again.

She spun around, ready to glare the person into submission, only to find an unfamiliar irken wearing a tattered and torn Invader uniform.

Behind him, she saw about a half dozen or so other Irkens, all in varying stages of what appeared to be heat exhaustion.

Come to think of it... it was pretty hot in the building. She must have been out cold for some time, then, because her uniform clung to her skin in a thin film of sweat and what hair she had left was likewise stuck to her. Her feet felt like prisoners inside a sauna and she hastily tore her boots off.

"Elite Commander Mona? The hyrbid commander?" said the Irken who'd rescued her, cocking his head sideways and giving her a quizzical look.

She coughed and smoothed her hair off the back of her neck.

"Yeah... I suppose. Who are you?" she demanded.

The stranger folded his arms over his chest and glared at her.

She could guess what his problem was. He was probably one of those Irkens who thought a hybrid like her didn't deserve such a high ranking, or any ranking, in the Irken Armada.

"Give her a break, Rom. It's not her fault we're all caged in here like humans," protested another irken, this one female. She wore only the pink and black striped undershirt that formed most Invader uniforms and a pair of short black leggings that didn't reach her knees. The rest of her uniform looked to be thrown into a random corner with a pile of others.

Now that she noticed it, not one Irken in the room seemed to be wearing his or her complete uniform. It was so hot in the room that most or all had stripped some part or other off and thrown it into that corner.

She stood up to her full five feet and looked around a little better.

Not all the rooms were cubicled like a maze. The one they were all in seemed to be a center room for some purpose.

"What is this place?" she asked.

The irkens in the room all exchanged a glance. No face was without worry or... embarassment?

It was then that she spotted the small, almost invisible globe in the corner of the ceiling. It was painted dark purple to match the paint there but the small black ring of a camera lense could be seen.

"Hey! That's a camera! What is this??" she demanded skeptically.

There were a few throat clears and a lot of shifting from foot to foot.

"Forget it, if no one wants to answer me, fine. I'm looking for a way out," she muttered.

She began walking the corridors and cubicled rooms and saw a few other big rooms like the one had just been in. No where was there furniture or a desk, not even a window. She DID see an Irken every now and then that looked to be having "fun", though... this place got wierder by the minute.

She reached what looked like some sort of back door only to find it locked. And firmly so.

She finally gave up and made her way to the room she had awoken in.

She cornered the irken who had told the one called "Rom" to give her a break and repeated her question.

"I... I can't tell you... She's watching us," stuttered the suddenly terrified female. She cowered in fear but her eyes and finger strayed to the camera in the corner of the ceiling.

Mona followed her gaze and saw the lens glint ominously, which meant it had turned. It was pointed at her now.

She could only guess which "she" would inspire such fear and hopelessness in such well trained soldiers.

Chi.

Mona made a point to glare at the camera lens before turning back to the hapless female.

Leaning in close to her antennae, she repeated her question.

"What is this place?"

Silence.

"A.. a forced breeding facility."

"WHAT?!"

Mona stared in shock and the female jumped a mile at her sudden outburst and everyone else in the vicinity stared.

"Not so loud!!" complained the one called Rom. Even as he said it, he pulled at the collar of his undershirt and what remained of his dark pink-red overshirt and ripped said overshirt off the rest of the way. He then proceeded to rip at the collar of his pink undershirt.

Mona stared.

"It's hot in here but it's not THAT hot," she remarked.

"Yeah, well... the only way anyone ever gets out of here is to cooperate," he grumbled.

Mona thought about that for a moment. Chi really WAS twisted. Was this how she got her kicks?? By watching irkens have sex while the Armada was virtually crushed?

No. Fucking. Way.

For the first time in days, she truly saw red. All other thought was obliterated.

She wondered if there was something... deadly in her new PAK... just as she thought it, a mechanical arm popped out and handed her a long metal bar. It looked like a spare spider leg.

She took it and, getting a running start and against all the protesting cries of those around her, smashed the camera lens. There was a haze of sparks and several people behind her gave appreciative murmers.

She turned to face them and stuck with bent spider leg back into her PAK. How it fit was a mystery to her.

It was time (once again) to take charge. When would Chi learn that she couldn't keep her locked up for good?

"Alright, everyone grab what clothes you can. I'm going to find a way out of here," she announced.

Rom laughed meanly.

"How? You think we haven't tried already?? It's not like we WANT to stay here! Everyone's already lost too much weight and they don't feed us. Our torches don't work on the walls for some reason and this heat... it's unbearable..." he complained.

Mona wasn't listening. She was probing the walls with her eyes, looking for a weak spot. She found it, about a foot off the floor near the inpenetrable front door.

She got to work.

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Zim2 was tired of floating around. Either he needed a new body or he needed to somehow get to GIR so he could help properly. Machines were too difficult and he only had so much energy.

The Massive. It was where he had lst seen the little robot, asking about taquitos, and it was where it probably still was. In a war where the visible were either shot on sight or imprisoned, it was good to be a ghost.

He smply walked through the hull of the giant red ship and found himself in the very room where the last battle had taken p-lace. There as a bit less blood, but it wasn't empty.

hi herself sat in the chair at the head of the room. She wore green all over that perfectly matched her ugly green eyes. She wasn't the most attrative of Irkens, that was for sure.

Where was he...

He began poking his head through cupboard doors and through other various objects before he found the little robot. He had been deactivated and stuffed into a storage cupboard.

The only problem was getting him out of the ship with Chi there... but shew as alone, which was unusual...

He summoned all he had and used it to throw a piece of random clutter far, far out into the corridor. It made a loud clang.

"What the-?" Chi started.

She floated gently out of the room and Zim2 wasted no time. He floated straight through the cupboard and into GIR's head and immediately reactivated him. He started babbling about robot monkeys and Zim2 quickly took control and knew GIR's eyes now shone red. They would show red as long as he kept total control.

GIR was happy enough to sing in the back of his own head.

As fast as he could, he piloted the robot through a window of the Massive and utilized the jet packs to fly to where he knew Mona was being held captive. Red and Purple were well and good but Mona was the brains. She knew all about this planet, more than even him. If anyone could get Chi off Earth once and for all, it was Mona.

Using GIR's X-ray eyes, he sw at least a dozen or more life forms inside the building, all identified as Irkens, a few as human. He saw Mona's heat-signatured sillhouette struggling with something on the wall.

He focused and GIR's eyes became X-ray laser beams. They blew a hole in the side of the building inhabited by no one.

Way to be subtle. That was sure to attract little to no attention.

He flew down and without waiting to warn the unfamiliar, and for some reason half-dressed Irkens, he grabbed Mona's hand and pulled her to a relatively safe shadow. She had to bend down to follow him and kept tripping on the rocks and chunks of debris from the blast. Her feet were bare.

"GIR?? Red said he deactivated you!" she whispered.

Zim2 made GIR shake his head.

"It's me! And keep it quiet, it was hard enough getting to GIR in the first place. Chi was there!" he whispered back.

Mona looked thoughtfull.

"First thing's first. This is Earth. My planet. Joanna's planet. However much I may look Irken, I'll always be human. It's time I start fighting as a human rather than a soldier. We break Jo free and find that big-headed kid. Then we grab whoever's closest to Chi and confront her once and for all," Mona outlined her plans in the snow with a dirty stick as she spoke.

Zim2 thought she had a point.

"What about Zim? He's bound to get in the way and help Chi no matter what. I know him. He'll probably bring some insane death ray canon or something..." Zim2 muttered.

MEANWHILE SOMEPLACE ACROSS TOWN...

Zim finally finished working on whatever it was he was doing. Minimoose, who had somehow managed to survive the Armada's initial attack, squeaked appreciatively.

"My death ray canon is complete!!"

BACK WITH MONA...

"Good point. Zim seemed pretty crazy the first, last and only time I ever met him. Hmm..." Mona replied thoughtfully.

"Anything I can help with?"

Mona and Zim2 in GIR's body jumped a mile and Zim2 activaed GIR's defensive systems, bringing all manner of doomy things out of his giant tin head, from saw blades to lasers.

Joanna, looking a little mussed up but otherwise fine raised both hands and suddenly looked worried.

"Jo?!" Mona cried, shocked. Zim2 asumed Jo was no threat and retracted his doomsday weapons.

"Yup. It's me," she agreed and the two females shared a brief hug.

"How did you get out??" Mona demanded.

Joanna smiled wickedly and didn't say a thing.

"So you were outlining some sort of plan?" she asked.

Mona nodded.

From his position several yards away, one of Chi's soldiers spotted the three of them hunched over on the ground, huddled and talking, though he couldn't hear. He gazed intently at their backs anbd decided to report them to his boss. One of them appeared to be nothing but a SIR bot but the other two...

He hurried off to Chi.

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Not to worry, Chi won't maim anyone!! Yet...

Please review!!

and I got your PM tallestblue. Kudos to both you and yellow for being responsible for more than half of my 130-something reviews thus far!

seriously. thanks. 


	40. Jailbreak again 40 CHAPTERS WOOT!

Hey, typing at the l ibrary cause that's where I is...

and I got an odd review on chapter 39... someone said ti was really odd that Chi find forced breeding amusing...

I said in an early chapter that she was thinking about it just to alleviate boredom and see if interbreeding was possible. I never said she enjoyed it. it was just what Mona thought at the moment.

Also, this probably isn't the same Chi as is in Megadoomingir's story. Her character and all, still, but so far Chi hasn't made too many appearances there so I've had to wing it with her personality and what she would and wouldn't do. Chi still belongs to MDG... but she may be a bit different. She is the villian in this story so I figured she may as well be sick and twisted, so Here I go!! HOORAY FOR SICK AND TWISTED!

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Chi was resting in Tallest Red's comman chair on board the Massive. It seemed now that everything was detained, she was reclaiming the Tallest's throne ship for herself.

"What is it?" she asked wearily. She looked bored.

"My "tallest" Chi, someone has blasted a hole in the breeding facility. There are prisoners loose. Would you like me to give the order?" he announced.

Chi sat up straighter, an annoyed look on her ugly face. Then she seemed to relax and sat back, a look of cruel cunning on it.

"... No. In fact, let them be. Let them do whatever it is they plan on doing. We'll show them the meaning of war when they do," she ordered.

Uneasy with her decision and wondering if she'd finally gone crazy, he saluted, wiggled both his antennae and walked away.

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Dib woke up and looked around. He wondered why he was waking up, since waking up meant he had been asleep and he didn't remember being tired. He remembered the intrusion on Mona's house and the aliens and the blindfolds...

Oh yeah. Duh. Blindfold. He couldn't see.

He struggled out of the ropes that held his hands in his lap and yanked his blindfold off. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Gaz.

"Gaz?!" he cried.

She was sitting in a corner, her knees pulled to her chest, the skull necklace torn off, her clothes covered in filth, most of it mud, some of it biological. The rest of the room, he was stunned to see, was covered in padding. He was in an institution!! Noo!!

"Good to see you... Dib. I'm gonna take your GIANT FREAKISH head and fill it up with GIANT FREAKISH wall padding!!" she growled. Her eyes were open, bloodshot and dark brown and she looked more angry than he had ever seen her look. He guessed she was mad about their dad being vaporized and all.

"Wait, Gaz!! I can explain!! This isn;t my fault! It was Mona! She-MMMPHHFF!!" his voice was cut off as Gaz made good her promise. What was unusual about it was she was cackling insanely. She NEVER laughed. At anything. So what was wrong?

She pulled away from her using some ultra spooky ninja moves and yanked the wall padding from his mouth, ears and backside and tried to explain. Gaz was drooling an awful lot... and there was a scar running under her hairline now.

"Gaz!! What've they done to you!! You're... crazier than usual!" he exclaimed.

Gaz advanced on him once more, this time holding the concrete from the broken floor, when the opposite wall imploded on itself and sucked its own debris outside. Gaz looked up, the labotomy scar on her head more noticeable than usual.

"Come on, giant-headed boy. For once, we go to save earth!"

It was Mona, that crazy robot of Zim's and some alien he had never seen before.

"You!! Whaddaya mean, save the earth?! From YOU or that INSANE big gray ship!!" he screamed.

Mona squinted her cold blue eyes in annoyance, her arms at her sides. No one made a sound, no one moved, not even GIR, with the crazy saw blades in his head.

"The second on. And bring your freaky sister with you," Mona growled.

She pressed a button on a small mechanical device in her other hand, grabbed his shirt with her free hand and the five of them levitated out of the padded building.

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Grorl grinned wickedly as the device he had given all of them before kidnap gave off a rapid beeping sound. He wiped his fingers free of blood and retrieved his scalpel from the head of his attacker.

"Traitor. Now I see why the Armada is as rough as it is. People like you," he muttered, and for good measure, he jammed an electrical short into the guy's PAK. Now he'd never wake up.

Such was the horror of war.

The beeping sound meant one of them had broken free. Imminent release was near, he knew it. And when it happened...

He was going to make Chi pay for ever threatening him with blackmail.

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Sorry, the chapter is shorter than usual but my time is running out. I only have 14 minutes left on this thing.

PLEASE REVIEW!! 


	41. Lock 'n' Load

FINALLY chapter 41, hahaha.

For my most loyal reviewers, welcome back to DOOMY , to the newbies, hello.

If u read from chapter 1 to this chapter 41, I need not explain one damn thing.

Just read!

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Zim lounged back in his chair and stuffed his face with nachos and cheese-like sauce. Ahh, now _this_ was what it meant to be in control. Chi had very kindly given him command of her troops on Earth's surface and so far, he hadn't had to do any running around. No Dib-beast; he had probably been killed by now. No Mona; she was in prison still. No GIR to wreck things up; he was with Mona.

He was in the house that, until now, had belonged to the leader of the human rebel group, Dawn. As far as he knew, Dawn was being imprisoned in her own personal energy-cell, the rest of her group, in a small ship all their very own.

He munched another handful of nachos and was approached by none other than his previous boss on Foodcourtia, that _HORRIBLE_ place, Sizz-Lorr. Instead of his usual frycook's hat and apron, he wore a similar outfit to Chi's troops, entirely in blue. His pants were black as usual and he was covered from head to foot in wet snow, dirt and human filth. Chi had demoted him from fry lord on Foodcourtia to human waste cleanup. Zim ALMOST felt sorry for him... but dim memories of his own time in Schloogorgh's reminded him of what a jerk the overweight Irk could be. Being covered in human sewage served him right.

"Zim, I'm finished with the human's cages in building one," he grumbled, looking thoroughly disheartened.

"WHAT did you call me, _Sizz-Lorr_?" Zim demanded.

Sizz-Lorr growled and made a face, looking pained at what he was going to say.

"Rrrrggg, Sorry, Almighty Ruler of Humans... I'm finished," he repeated dully.

Zim giggled. Power was GOOD.

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Mona ended up clamping a metal sheet and screws over Gaz's mouth and binding her in energy-absorbing ropes from Mona's PAK because apparently, the purple-haired girl's brain had been fooled with; she had tried strangling them all at least once.

Mona hadn't the foggiest idea what to do next or where she was taking everyone; she couldn't go back to her own house, Chi would expect her there. Nick's house? She didn't think he'd appreciate her barging in with everyone and making a mess of things. She hadn't heard from her old friend since he'd blown her off for enslaving the human race.

Dawn.

Her house should be empty with her imprisoned.

She headed that way.

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Grorl didn't know what was taking her so damn long. The devices had beeped fifteen minutes ago now, where was she??

He disengaged his own PAK and tried fixing the welding and cutting torches in it. If Mona wouldn't get him out of prison, than he would.

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Zim jumped to his feet immediately the moment the front door burst open. There, silhouetted dramatically against a blood-red sunset, were five shadows, three short, two taller. They stepped into the light and he saw three humans, GIR in duty mode for once and Mona.

Then Mona stepped forward, her hair singed and chopped so short it was almost gone, her eyes reduced to narrow light blue slits. She was aiming an energy-ray gun at him.

Immediately, the guards stationed to protect him leapt at the small group of rebels but GIR pointed his own death ray headlasers and with three shots, they all crumpled to the floor, unmarked but unmistakably dead.

He was faced with either death or interrogation. His first death had been painful. He didn't want to be killed again.

"Zim?" she asked coldly.

Zim felt a chill breeze ruffle his antennae that had absolutely nothing to do with the open door; this breeze made him shiver from the inside.

"I am ZIM! RULER of all HUMANS!! And YOU'RE a MISTAKE!" he couldn't help himself from shouting.

"Wrong answer," she said and pressed the muzzle of the gun against the side of his head. The chilled smile she gave him made him fear for his newfound life. She did not, however, pull the trigger.

"What do you want, _human_-thing?" he demanded.

Mona bent double and pressed her face uncomfortably close to his, a sexy-but-deadly expression on her face. It was enticing... as much as it was murderous and cold. Her breath reeked of blood and something that smelled like cinnamon. It sickened him and made his squeedilyspooch do flip-flops.

"We're going for a little hike. And you're coming with us," she said icily.

Someone snuck up behind him and his vision went black.

"HEY!! What's the meaning of this!! YOU CAN'T KIDNAP ME!! I AM ZIIIIIM!!" he yelled, struggling and thrashing.

"Someone help me hold him!" came a yell, not Mona's. Extra hands grabbed his arms and legs and stopped him thrashing and he sensed someone opening his PAK. They tweaked something and he fell into a deep sleep.

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Mona easily lifted Zim under her arm, his form limp and hot. Like humans, Irkens gave off body heat.

Joanna and Dib looked up at her. She was the boss in all this.

Gaz just foamed at the mouth and glared at all of them.

Dib looked at his sister, cringing in disgust.

"Can someone DO something about her? She's... scaring me," he admitted dully.

Mona leveled her gun at the labotomied little girl and pulled the trigger mercilessly. Gaz'e eyes went out and she fell to her knees, then on her face. She didn't move.

"What the hell was that for?!" Dib demanded.

Mona looked at him emotionlessly and shrugged.

"This is a war. You wanted me to do something. I did something. Stop whining and let's go. We have more people to bust free now that Zim is taken care of for the moment."

Dib sputtered and drooled, at a loss for anything to say.

"What about Zim?" asked Zim2 in GIR's voice.

"We'll leave him tied up and his PAK disabled and shut down any voice activated computer systems he may have set up. This'll be our base from now on," replied Mona.

She set about tying the noisy little egomaniac up and slapped a steel faceplate around his mouth so when he woke up, he wouldn't be able to talk clearly. She shoved him underneath the trapdoor in the kitchen that led to a root cellar. There was a window down there; he'd be able to breath and see.

She kicked him under there without thought and closed the door on him. She turned back to Dib, GIR/Zim2 and Joanna.

"Well? Let's go get the others!"

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(A/N: There are way too many jailbreaks in this story, aren't there?)

An hour later, they had everybody. Both Tallests, who wore tattered Elite uniforms that barely covered their frames. Mona didn't ask. Maize wore a standard issue invader's outfit. Grorl looked surly; he had spent nearly half an hour drilling through a wall by the time they'd showed up for him and he was mumbling about time wasted.

Gij, Benn and Doom were apprehensive about listening to Mona at all since she'd got them all imprisoned. They did, however, listen to Red and Purple. They had to.

Red greeted her with a furtive look, a look of relief that she was alright, and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. No one said a word; they hadn't bought it when Mona cleared him of all guilt and so far, no one had said a word.

"So what now?"

Red had spoken. Purple was looking at her expectantly. In fact, everyone there was looking at her for the next move.

"Well... we go to the root of the problem. Ammo up, stockpile any weapons we can, either human or Irken and we go to the root of the problem," she said. She was trying to sound authorative, like the big heroes in the movies who always knew what to do and how they were going to do it. To her own ears, she sounded like a kid trying to be brave.

She was a fool.

Everyone else, however, seemed ready to follow her instructions. Her self doubt vanished on the spot as they all, every one of them, children included, grabbed what weapons they could from the house. Maize and Dib both grabbed steak knives from the kitchen. Red and Purple uncovered a whole box of weapons and ammunition that Mona was positive Dawn hadn't stored there herself. Zim must have stockpiled every human firearm he could. Hunting rifles, sniprs, a couple of what looked like illegal micro-Uzis, sawed off shotguns and boxes upon boxes of different kinds of ammunition. At the very bottom of the box were dozens of handguns, .22's, .32 callibers, a couple Magnums, even police weapons, cans of mace... if you could imagine it, it was there.

"This is an ugly array of guns," Dib muttered.

"I agree. Grab what you can carry," Joanna said coldly. Mona looked at her oldest bestest friend and saw the glee hidden in her eyes. She was like a kid in a candy store again. Mona smirked. Jo couldn't fool her.

Red and Purple grabbed a sawed off shotgun each and stuffed handguns into their belts. Boxes of corresponding ammo went into their PAKs. Every gun was loaded.

Mona gave a handgun each to Maize and Dib. She taught them how to load them and told them to remember the safety. Maize looked right at home. Dib was being a chicken about it.

The Elites swore by their own weapons and insisted they uyse them, but Grorl was no pussy. He immediately grabbed two sawed off shotguns and two handguns and used a couple of thigh-holsters to hold them.

Mona herself ignored the automatic weapons; autos could overheat and be made useless. She grabbed a shotgun and three different handguns, cramming boxes of ammo into her pockets and her PAK and slinging the handguns onto her thighs using the same leg holsters she'd given Grorl.

Even Zim2 had chosen to fight. Driving GIR like a car, he grabbed two 32 callibers and a box of hollowpoints.

With all of them armed and prepared to end Chi's reign once and for all, they left Dawn's house and marched straight towards The Massive.

This time, the war would really begin.

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DUN DUN DUUUUUN!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO no more jailbreak scenes!! I bet you were wondering when the hell this story would end, weren't you? PLEASE REVIEW!


	42. Ding dong

UPDATE!!

Note: I know ammunition belts designed for your chest don't have holes big enough to hold a rail spike. Please don't review telling me this.

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Mona led her small but determined troops, including Tallest Red and Almighty Tallest Purple, her sort-of daughter Maize and her best friend. The Elites Benn, Gij and Doom only took orders from Red or Purple. They were still annoyed at Mona for getting them in trouble.

The snow was rapidly melting, aided and abetted by Chi's blue-clad surly troops but the weather was cold and clear. Their breath steamed out in front of them in the early pre-dawn. The sounds of the wind rustling the trees was the only sound. It seemed the human's biological diurnal clocks had spread to the Irken invaders; everyone was asleep or resting.

They passed the old railroad tracks that marked the halfway point between what was once a small but bustling human city and Joanna stumbled over something and fell, protecting the hunting rifle she had slung over one shoulder by catching herself with her hands. She had tripped over a small pile of rusted rail spikes. Mona helped her friend up and Jo bent and retrieved three of them. She tucked them into an ammunition belt she wore around her chest. She didn't need it for bullets; she'd just thought it looked cool. She had a Magnum tucked into the belt she wore round her waist and a seven-inch switchblade tucked into one sock.

Tiptoeing quietly around Chi's dozing soldier sentries around The Massive, Mona tried opening the outer hatch; it was locked.

Mona produced the key, which she had around her neck with Red's old Elite pendant and unlocked it. The moment the hatch swung up halfway, an alarm sounded, shattering the silent morning air uncomfortably, like a bombshell in tranquility. It set Mona's already frayed nerves on edge and adrenaline pumped through her body, making her grab one of her 22.'s The feel of the handgun made her remember when she had held a gun on the FBI agent, what seemed like years ago, when the city had been human, when _she_ had been human.

She wasn't human any more.

At the sound of the alarm, which could have awoken the dead, all of Chi's soldiers came to with a jerk. They saw the heavily armed group and immediately turned their weapons on them. Maize and Mona made no hesitation.

She pulled the trigger and hit the soldier nearest them square in the head. Green blood splattered her body and the soldier fell to the ground. Gunshots rang out louder than anything, hurting her ears and the bones in her hand and arm. The recoil was more than she'd expected.

Beside her, Jo leveled the hunting rifle awkwardly, took aim and squeezed the trigger. The soldier running at them, spider legs extended, no longer had spider legs. Or a head. Brains and blood sprayed all of them in a magnificent emerald fount and the soldier lay broken on the ground.

Another three soldiers came at them in a triangular shape, attempting to box them in. The Massive's outer hatch had stopped at the halfway point so they couldn't retreat into its depths.

Red was having trouble figuring out why his sawed off shotgun wasn't working. For once being useful, Purple made an example. He cocked his own sawed off shotgun, pointed it at the one coming at them in the center and sprayed his thickset body with buckshot.

Red grinned and cocked his own gun with a loud CHUNK sound and promptly invaded the other two assailant's guts with two shells.

Little Maize was too small and fast for the soldier's to take aim at and she was stabbing and slashing at their legs with the steak knife from Dawn's kitchen. Dib was using some impressive ninja moves and combined with the handgun and the steak knife, it made for an unusual fighting technique. The three elites were firing lasers and taking out just as many as those armed with human firearms.

Mona reloaded her own shotgun and took careful aim at the last soldier alive. He was being cautious now that he had no one to back him up. He circled the group of blood-soaked soldiers, for now Mona and Maize were soldiers, too. Dib was, no matter whether he wanted to be or not and he looked like he was going to be sick.

The rail spike that flew past Mona's head made a breeze that she felt on her wet skin. Her skin was wet with blood and not a little brain matter.

The spike caught the remaining soldier dead on between the eyes, penetrated his skull and no doubt protruded from the back of his head. His eyes went dark and he collapsed. His death had been the coolest and probably the tamest.

Joanna stood triumphant, winner of the battle. Despite the alien blood on her face, she had the grin of a child at an amusement park.

Mona grinned back, re-loaded her weapon and let the Massive's outer hatch finish opening.

The interior was dark. Chi had shut all functions down. She had set the alarms.

"She knew we were coming," muttered Red, looking round. Purple looked worried.

It was creepy, walking down the halls of a ship she knew somewhat with no life at all. The runner light along the floor of the halls were dark and they cast no shadows this early in the morning.

There was a static click as the intercom was switched on and a girlish giggle. Apparently Chi thought she was being spooky and mysterious. Mona just groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Do we really have to do this? I mean YOU already conquered Earth... what's one more alien??" Dib whimpered.

"Quit being a little chicken!" snapped Maize childishly.

Dib made a face at her but a pink tinge suffused his pale cheeks.

Mona led her little entourage towards the bridge and the lights flicked on, bathing everything in bright light. She blinked, getting used to it, and something swung out of nowhere and slashed her across the face.

Her head snapped back on her neck and immediately everyone raised their weapons, on edge and at attention.

Chi stood before her, smirking coldly, a gun in one hand and her other hand, the one she'd bitten before, raised like a set of claws. The finger she'd bitten to the bone bore a thick, pale scar against her dull, dark green skin.

"I shall truly enjoy destroying _you_," she hissed. The words were meant for her, and her alone and Mona knew it.

"Congratulations on getting out of jail AGAIN and getting past my soldiers. You won't live long enough to celebrate, though. This planet WILL be mine. And no Meckle or Loil will get in my way!" she announced. She spread her arms wide and the lights behind her came on, revealing a row of heavily armed Elite soldiers.

They all bore symbols of the Armada on their heads. These were soldiers of the Armada!

"HEY!! No one calls me Loil!" Purple exclaimed. He raised his weapon but one of the Elites shot it out of his hand. They also shot off his hand.

He clutched his broken appendage, his wrist bare, for the bracelet had shattered, blood gushing out of his half-a-hand, one of his fingers gone entirely.

In retaliation, Red flung something from his PAK at Chi; a cold, steely glint under the lights showed a knife with a metal handle. It had buried itself past Chi's sleeve and deep into the crook of her shoulder.

She cried out in pain, hissed at Red and cried, "ATTACK!"

The Elites showed apprehension at first. They had obviously been bribed and no more wanted to attack their Tallests than chop off their own heads. Nevertheless, the moment they lifted guns, Mona knew the control brains would label them traitors and deserters.

Death was their only future now.

"Alright then," she muttered, and she splattered the nearest soldier's guts onto the wall behind them. The clear windows of the bridge quickly became opaque green as limbs were severed and heads blown apart. Joanna gave out a cry that enraged Mona and she grabbed a nearby pipe and tore off the head of Joanna's assailant by sheer force.

She was bleeding, but it wasn't serious. While she was distracted, however, Chi dealt her another backhanded blow to the face.

"All this firepower and you bitch-slap me?!" she exclaimed.

There was a thin claw mark down her cheek from the one claw on Chi's hand.

Mona took aim with the shotgun and prepared to end this once and for all.

They stared each other down for what seemed like hours, when in fact it was probably only seconds. Around them the cries and shouts of friends and once-allies, but none of it mattered. If Chi were killed, this would all end. The traitors would be dealt with. She would be home again.

Chi struck first, severing connection with her hover belts and displaying amazing speed on her feet. She jumped and twirled, drawing a sword from her PAK. Mona was skeptical. What kind of hi-tech aliens with death ray guns used swords? Was she watching too many Jet Lee movies?

However, Mona was almost as fast as Chi. She dodged her slash and drew a smaller .22, squeezing off three shots in a row. Two missed entirely, but the third lodged itself in the skirt of her uniform. She gave a cry and fell to the floor. One of her legs was rendered useless. It was better than nothing.

There was a flury of movement from her side and she looked to see Maize, despite her tremendous height disadvantage, fighting off a soldier more than half her size. Mona lifted her gun and the soldier was dead.

The split second it took her to help her sort-of daughter, however, Chi had used to her advantage. She kicked Mona's feet out from under her and dragged herself up until she loomed over Mona's face. There was pain in her dark green eyes but she was smiling crazily. She thought she'd won, after all this mess.

She was holding one of Joanna's rail spikes.

"I told you you'd pay for destroying my finger, little hybrid. Now die!"

She brought the spike down and drove it through her chest.

Mona screamed as her throat felt as if it were catching fire and dark green blood the color of burned spring leaves bubbled from both her mouth and her wound. Even in her pain and rage, she tried to get up and ram a gun down Chi's self-satisfied throat but the rail spike had her pinned.

Her PAK.

She brought out all four spider legs and grabbed the nearest thing to her, which happened to be- the other rail spike. They must have fallen off Jo's vest in the struggle.

Chi never expected it.

Mona used all the strength her PAK had and shoved the rail spike straight through the side of Chi's head. For good measure, she lifted herself as high as she could and grabbed her fallen shotgun. She emptied it's contents into every part of the ex-tallest as she could aim for from her position. In the end, all that remained of Chi's head were fragments of skull and the rail spike.

She was dead. The war was won. She was a soldier after all.

She blacked out.

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dun dun DUUUUUN!! Don't think that's the end!! No!! Another update comes tomorrow!!


	43. A new meaning of Dual

Hey, I'm at the library again and I only have l like twelve minutes, so I'm gonna make this fast.

LAST CHAPTER!! BEG HARD ENOUGH AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE A SEQUAL!!

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Red stared in horror at Purple's ruined left hand and Gij acted fast. He tore a strip of his uniform and wrapped it tightly around the Tallest's wrist and remaining hand and he calmed down a bit. His blood was as bright green as the other's.

"Mona!"

Little Maize, who only reached the top of his foot, was kneeling beside an unmoving blue form on the floor about three feet away. A pool of darkest green surrounded her and a foot away from her lay a Tallest dressed in green. Her head was almost gone.

Chi was dead?

He ran over as best he could and kneeled beside his sort-of progeny.

Mona lay unmoving on the floor, what little of her hair remaining pooled out around her, a rusty rail spike driven through her upper chest. There was blood on her mouth and the front of her uniform as well and he knew it was because she had threw-up.

Maize was crying pitifully and Red, for once, felt like joining her. He laid a hand on her forehead, bare of an Elite commander's mark and felt warmth. Her skin was still warm. She was alive!

"She's alive!" he said, surprised. Maize sniffled and looked up at him, her bright yellow gaze like a search light.

"She is?"

"Yes!!" he replied.

He brought out a portable X-ray machine from his PAK and looked. Yes!! The rail spike hadn't penetrated anything that mattered! She still had her lungs and human heart, which was cloven in two by the spike, but she also had an Irken heart and a squeedilyspooch!

"She could survive with only her Irken heart, couldn't she?" he asked Gij. Gij shrugged.

"She might be able to. Her PAK could do the rest, but then, she'd be more Irken than she is human. It'd be her choice, really," Gij explained.

The dark blue dots on Mona's PAK were flashing colors. From dark blue to electric blue and back to dark. Her life was hanging by a thread. It all hinged on her decision.

He was powerless.

Everyone crowded around her fallen form, even the Elite soldiers who had deserted him and Purple to join Chi. No one had wanted to fight until Chi came down. This was all her doing. It served her right, a spike through her temple and the flesh of her ugly face blown off. He thought he spied one of her eyeballs a foot away from her body.

"Is she gonna be okay?" asked Dib. Red examined the large-headed kid more closely. He looked exhausted and like the rest of them, he was covered in blood, both red and green. As Mona would have said-

"-You look like Christmas."

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Red ordered Purple to The Massive's sick bay with Joanna, who was bleeding freely from a deep lacerating wound to her left shoulder. He had to have Benn and Gij help get the spike out of the floor in order to lift Mona. They left it in her body because they wouldn't know of the consequences of taking it out just yet.

Her body felt limp, like a bag of sand. Just dead weight. It felt wrong to him. Her blood was much much darker than a normal Irken's but it had the same salty smell to it, like salt water mixed with something thicker. It was hot and felt squishy under his fingers. Like the rest of them, she was covered in it. As they carried her, a bit of irken brain matter fell from her hair and onto the floor. The Massive was a mess.

"Someone summon Karo," he demanded.

Very soon she was at his side.

"My Tallest?" she saluted.

"Chi's dead. Announce it over The Massive's intercom and if you can, try and get rid of Chi's computer virus? We need all the computer help we can get," he ordered.

"AND BRING SOME DONUTS!" he called after her as she walked away.

She waved to show she had heard him.

Red continued carrying Mona down to Sick Bay with the rest of the wounded. The dead were thrown unceremoniously outside to be disposed of afterwards.

Right now, the dead were beyond help. It was priority to help the living.

He set Mona very gently down onto a cot and immediately hooked her PAK up to a machine that would restore her consciousness for a moment or two.

Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up somewhat. The rail spike through her ribs prevented her from slouching, however.

"Red? What happened? Where's Chi? I killed her... the war is over? I can get some decent sleep for once?" Even now, she was attempting humor.

Red smiled.

"As far as I can tell, yeah. Earth is ours again. We can get rid of anything Chi set up here and then get rid of her. The war is over. You can get some sleep," he explained.

Mona frowned.

"What about the irkens Chi brought down with her? What to do with them?" she asked.

Red shrugged.

"I don't know. But that's the least of our problems right now," he replied. He gestured to her injury and Mona slumped.

"Oh yeah. Right. Crap... when am I going to die?" she asked.

Red raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"You have a choice, actually. The spike pierced your human heart. It's ruined. Your Irken heart can keep you alive, though. It's up to you," he explained.

He held the portable X-ray machine up to her and took a freeze frame to show her. She looked at it with interest.

"It's weird seeing my own skeleton. My organs have really changed, haven't they?" she asked.

Red nodded.

Mona frowned.

"What's this one for?" she asked.

She handed him the freeze frame and pointed to something on the bottom.

He followed her finger and squinted. The organ she was pointing to wasn't Irken, in the normal sense, but it didn't look human either. It was very small, just below her squeedilyspooch, where her human reproductive organs lay, probably rotting from disuse and needlessness.

He opened his eyes wider and realized, the strange organ was depicted _over_ her reproductive organs.

They weren't rotting from misuse. The unknown "organ" was a fetus. She was carrying a smeet.

Red shut the X-ray machine off in a hurry and stashed it back inside his PAK.

"Well?" she asked.

Red wasn't sure how to break it to her. He was confused, himself. She was carrying a smeet... _his_ smeet, really and truly his. Maize had been a distraction, and even though she was loved, she wasn't well... she didn't really seem like a daughter, just another smeety irken soldier-in-training.

"That... wasn't an organ... not really, anyway... you shouldn't have been fighting," he muttered.

And he was as good as dead. The few Elites who had fought alongside him and Purple knew he had a thing for Mona. If they knew she was smeet-bound, he would be demoted and executed!

"Red... you're making me nervous..." she muttered, an odd expression on her face. How much more nervous could one be with a nine inch iron spike through their ribs?

He told her what it was and her eyes became large, almond-shaped pools of sky blue.

"You're JOKING."

He shook his head.

Mona frowned for a second and with one giant tug and a shriek splintered with pain, she ripped the rail spike out of her own chest. Blood pooled out in a steady stream and she reached into the hole the spike had made and yanked out what remained of her human heart. It lay in her palm, fist-sized, cleaved nearly in two and covered in red muscle tissue and blue veins.

"If I'm having a baby, I want to live. I did NOT fight this little war only to die at the end. I DESERVE sleep," she said sarcastically.

And sleep she did.

Kato and the other Medi Irkens came out of hiding after Karo made the announcement over the Massive's intercom system and fixed her up like only they could. Grorl even helped out, going so far as agreeing to wear the Armada's standard issue Medi Uniform.

He helped Kato sponge the blood and brain matter off of her, stripped her once-again destroyed uniform off and replaced it with something light and airy and dark purple. They closed the wound in her chest and her back, repaired whatever was damaged in her PAK and was left alone to recover as she would. Her wounds were healed but her body was still exhausted.

Maize was fine, as was Dib. Joanna would live. The Elites Benn, Gij and Megadoom were offered promotions but declined. Mona's brother was livid at the damage that had been caused and the number of times his sister had been forced into sick bay but was elated when Red told him what grew in her belly.

He then pinned the human to the wall by the shirt and got in his face.

"Tell no one. NO ONE. Understand? If you do, I would be sentenced to die," he threatened.

Micah grinned, nodded and gave a thumbs up sign. What it meant was a mystery to him but he guessed it was a good enough answer.

The war had been short but extremely bloody and in the end, Earth was no less beautiful.

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SEVERAL WEEKS LATER

Tallest Red and his fellow Tallest Purple were seated on the roof of the Massive's enormous side pod, munching on nachos and sipping irken cola. Zim2 sat beside them in a privelaged seat. He had relinquished GIR's robot slave drone form and had been granted permission to inhabit a new body for himself. Superior Vortian technology enabled him to survive with no PAK. He was beyond soldier or tallest; he was simply Zim2.

They had also been surprised to find that when not clinically and criminally insane, Zim's original soul, the one that had resided in his physical body before PAK integration, Zim2, got along quite nicely with Dib. They were not best friends but they could at least hold a civil conversation.

Maize was finished with her Invader's training but had chosen to remain on Earth as a civilian. Since she was partially human, if less so than her genetic mother, she had chosen Earth as her home planet over Irk, which she had learned about but never seen.

The control brain had eventually ended up scanning and sifting through Red's PAK and all his memories and found the reasons he admired Mona, as well as the fact that she was smeet-bound.

They had waivered the rules and hung regulations in those cases after seeing all that Mona and Red had done to save the Armada from Chi's ugly clutches.

As for Mona herself, her smeet was doing fine. It was starting to show and she had taken to wearing looser fitting shirts. She and Joanna and her brother seemed to be closer than ever before.

Things were finally looking good.

"It is pretty, once you get over the fact that Chi wanted it for herself," said Purple, staring appreciatively at the sunset.

"Yeah. It is," Red agreed.

Then something occurred to him.

"How did you know how to cock that human gun??" he demanded.

Purple laughed and muched on a donut.

"One of the Elites introduced me to some movie with a "dirty harry" in it. It's what he always did," he replied.

Red was thrown for a loop.

"And how is your smeet-to-be?" Purple asked in retaliation.

Zim2 smiled proudly at his Tallests and was content to be physical again.

Red shrugged.

"It'll be the first natural born smeet heard of in a long time in Irk's history. As far as I know, no issues. Mona's human organs can hold an irken smeet just as well as a female Irken with organs intact and capable," he replied.

They all slurped Irken cola's and munched on donuts that tasted oddly of candy and watched the sun go down.

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EPILOGUE

Five months later, Mona doubled over in pain. Her smeet was ready to be born.

Red wanted no part of it, but Joanna was stubborn and having none of it. She literally dragged him to the human hospital where both human and Irken doctors worked freely and insisted he watch.

Mona was naked to the belly and wore no pants or hospital blanket. Her human orfices had gone, as well as all body hair. Her lower region resembled an irken's even if her chest area did not, at any rate.

The only orfice in her was sopping wet and stretching.

Red averted his gaze for what seemed like four seconds before a thin gasping could be heard.

He looekd back and saw one of the Medi Irkens wrap the newborn up in a thick blanket and wipe the sime and amniotic fluids off its head. Limp, oddly-shaped antennae lay flat against the back of its head and it opened its eyes for the first time.

One was the same light blue as his mother's and the other was Red's all around.

Not one person, free human or Irken, on Earth did not celebrate that night.

In the end, they decided to name him Dual.

THE END

start. May 28, 2008 fin. September 24, 2008

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Beg hard enough and a sequal you shall receive DUAL CAN BE SEEN ON MY DEVIANTART ACCOUNT!


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